I pick up leah. Cradling her in my arms. Singing to her gently. She looks so scared. I try to calm her down but it is so hard to reassure someone that everything will be okay when you know that it cant possibly be. Maybe I should go back. I mean hes usually alright. Maybe things will get better. I turn around ready to go back to the flat. Carrying the buggy down the stairs tears stream down my cheeks. I try to wipe them away so noone suspects anything. Im hated anyway though so it�s a bit pointless. I look down at leah. And pause. I need to be responsible. I need to keep her safe. Shes all I have left. I need to pull myself together, we can get through this together, we must. I always promised myself id be a better mum than my mum and what a crap job ive done of that so far. I look around. Rain pours mingling with my tears. I tuck leah in, singing her to sleep. I wish I could be that young. No decisions to make. Loved. I feel so alone. So scared. Everything I touch turns to ruins. I look around. I have nowhere to go and noone to turn to. But I see a speck of hope in leahs eyes. She provides me with strength. Theres a bit of shelter under Mobs. We will stay there tonight. Tonight marks a new start. And I need to do better this time
