This is MY fan-fiction story, originally posted under my other alias, but we shall say no more about that!

Louise1 will remember this story, and the person who wrote it as well. Well it's me, and now I'm gonna carry it on

Chapter 1: The Dream…

It was the evening of Hannah’s 18th Birthday Party, everything was going well. Hannah was having a great time, Sarah was tagging onto Craig like a tied up puppy, and Craig was trying to enjoy himself.

John-Paul, he was sat outside, day-dreaming, he didn’t wanna be inside right now, he didn’t want to see Hannah really, he wanted someone else…and that was Craig. “How do I tell him? How do I get to him to understand and just see how much I care for him?” These thoughts are going over and over in his mind, driving him crazy, upsetting him. He can’t bear the thoughts, not that he didn’t want these thoughts, it’s a case of when and if he told Craig how he felt would he push him away…
The front door opens, and Craig comes outside, having lost Sarah, and finally having a bit peace from her, Craig just wanted to be alone and was wondering where his best mate had gone, he was sat outside of course.
By this time, John-Paul was in tears, his thoughts became too much, he had to let his emotions out…

“John-Paul!” Craig shouted, John-Paul jumped out his skin, “What are you doing out…” Craig stopped mid-sentence having just seen John-Paul wipe away his tears. “here…mate what’s up? Ya alright?

“Craig, I have to…I have to tell you something, been trying…trying to for a long time” John Paul says lightly, by this time, they were sat side by side. “I…I…lo…I can’t…” John Paul stopped, he couldn’t say it, he couldn’t tell Craig his true feelings.

“Hey, it’s alright” Craig says, taking John-Paul’s hand surprising, “You can tell me anything you know that, don’t you?”
John-Paul turned to Craig, “Right I’m gonna say it, I need too…Craig…I love…you” John-Paul looked to the ground, tears beginning to flood, half expecting Craig to hit like he did those weeks ago. But no, he didn’t there was just silence, John-Paul felt a hand on his chin, raising his sight up and Craig was looking into his eyes. Craig kissed him, on his lips, his warm lips were on John-Paul’s. This seemed to go on forever, and John-Paul, was loving every moment of it, he didn’t want it to end…Craig pulled away, but slowly, he didn’t want it to end either, “why didn’t you tell me sooner?...I…I…love you too John Paul” Craig said softly, and lovingly. John Paul smiled, feeling so relieved…

*BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP*

It was all a dream, all of it was, John Paul’s alarm clock was blaring out, and John Paul was startled, he didn’t want to be disturbed from his dream…too late, he was awake. Turning off his alarm, John-Paul turned over, and there his bed side table sat, with his much cherished picture of him and Craig.

John Paul just lay there, day dreaming thinking of the one person he couldn’t get off his mind. His dreams with this person were becoming so frequent, and he was thinking if they meant something;


Does Craig actually feel as I do?

Does Craig…like me in that way?

Why does he not see how obvious I am?


The thoughts were sending John Paul crazy and making him upset, he out of bed, popped his night robe on, and decided to put some music on, besides, the rest of the McQueens were out of the house, so he wouldn’t have to worry about Michaela or Mercedes banging his door down and telling to shut his music up. John Paul looked through his a collection, and saw a CD that Craig made for him, just entitled, JP & CRAIG MUSIC, he let a small sigh out, it made John Paul smile, they were so close really, and decided to put that one on. Turned it up quite loud, and he grabbed his towel off his chair, and went for a shower, to freshen up, and wanted to be nice and make an impression, especially for Craig…

Chapter 2: Craig’s feelings…

“Craig! Get up!!” screeched Steph, Craig had fallen asleep on the sofa yet again, “Mum, tell him to get up, I need to practice for my audition!” Frankie looked on, “Ooo Steph leave him alone, he hasn’t been sleeping well lately, you can practice elsewhere”. “That’s just typical, sticking up the men yet again, fine I’ll go” Steph said sarcastically, pulling the pillow from under Craig’s head, “there now try and get back to sleep!”.

Craig murmured, he was disturbed from his dream, he could strangle his sister right now, but he was too dazed to do anything, and now he was too awake to get back to his slumber.
He slowly sat up right, Frankie brought him a cup of tea over, “what’s the matter love? You don’t seem your normal self?” asked Frankie softly, “is it Sarah? Are you two alright?”.

“No mum, it’s just…just…I don’t know, me and Sarah are goin’ great…just something, I’ll deal with it” replied a quiet Craig. “You know I’m here Craig, I am your mum after all, what ever is going on, we’ll get through it ok”.
Frankie went downstairs into the pub, this just left Craig in the rest of the flat, left him thinking, why couldn’t he get John-Paul out of his head? They were just mates, best mates…what would John-Paul think of him if he surfaced these feelings?…

Before he could finish, Craig’s phone vibrated, it was on the coffee table, so it made a loud enough noise. It was Sarah:

“HEYA BABE-HOW U FEELING THIS MRN-HOPE UR K.WIL B RND L8R ON-LOVE YOU.SARAH XxX”

Craig felt sick…but why? Could it be the amount of alcohol he had the night before? No, it was his emotions; he just couldn’t face Sarah right now. Not with him feeling……different.
His phone vibrated once more, this time it was John-Paul, Craig felt anxious and nervous…why? It’s only a text he was saying to himself.

“MORNIN CRAIG! YOU OK 2DAY? YOU CAN’T HANDLE YOUR DRINK LOL! WANA GO OUT L8R? NEED 2 TALK 2 YA. JP”

“Needed to talk to me?” thought Craig, “about what, no point worrying over it, probably something’s up with Hannah again” Craig text him back, it took a while for him to get the words right…his head was spinning, “why did I have to drink so much?” he said to himself in an annoyed tone, “Need to sort my head out, seriously”

Craig got up and headed to the bathroom, time to get ready, and see what the day brings…

Chapter 3: Going Well…

John-Paul was sat in his room, the shower had refreshed him, and it gave him a bout’ of extra energy. He was feeling good about today, today was going to be different, today was going to be truth, and nothing but.
As the last track of his CD finished, John-Paul went over and restarted the CD, just playing it made him feel good, there were songs there that meant a lot to him, and were made to be for him and Craig, he read into the words too much.

He sat at his computer, hoping to get some coursework done, trying to keep his mind off Craig, he had his Business Studies assignments to complete, but as soon as he loaded his work up, John-Paul just didn’t want to do it. He couldn’t get Craig out his head; he ended up going through his photo collection instead.

Just as John-Paul was day dreaming, his phone started ringing, it was Hannah, exactly who he didn’t want to talk to right now, he rejected the call and turned his phone off. “Why is Hannah like she is? She’s gorgeous and funny and everything I should want” mumbled John-Paul. His thoughts had wandered back to the computer, to Craig. “I just…I want…I need him” he carried on. “Got to stop this, I’ll be seeing him in less than an hour, just act normal, I snap out of it”.

The peace and quiet was disturbed, Mercedes and Carmel were home, “perfect, going to be none-stop nattering now” John Paul thought to himself, he grabbed his jacket, and slipped his trainers on, and quickly ran for his bedroom door. No sooner had he gone out onto the landing and shut his door, he ran downstairs. “Oi, where you off too, going as soon we get in!” Mercedes said sarcastically, “I’m just going out, meeting Craig in a bit” replied John-Paul. No sooner had he replied, John-Paul was out the door. Carmel and Mercedes looked at each other suspiciously. They’d noticed a difference in John-Paul’s behaviour, they were worried, but wanted to be supportive.

John-Paul stood outside his house, just breathing and his heart racing, he was starting to get worried. He started to walk slowly down the street, just walking and thinking, he did that a lot lately, it’s all could do.
He was in a world of his own, he began to smile. And he decided go sit in Jubilee Gardens for a while, somewhere to just sit and clear his head.

Sitting there and just thinking, John-Paul remembered he had turned his phoned off earlier, he switched it back on, just a message from Hannah, he didn’t wanna read it, and just left it be, and put the phone back in his pocket.

John-Paul still just sat there, he decided he’d had enough, people were just looking at him, and it wasn’t his idea of clearing his head in public. So he got up and went over to Il Gnosh, a coffee might make him feel better.

“Aright, John Paul” Dom said cheerfully, “what can I do for you?” “Just a coffee please Dom, medium” John Paul replied. “Coming up, I’ll bring it over to you”. John-Paul sat down, the table in the corner seemed most appropriate, he sat in the chair, back turned so he could see outside, he got his phone out, and started looking through his photo’s. As always they made him smile. Dom brought his coffee over; “ta’ mate” thanked John-Paul.
John-Paul sipped at his coffee as he watched the world fly past, sinking into his thoughts once again. Thinking of Craig, the one and only person on his mind…

Chapter 4: The Dog in the Pond

Craig was down in the pub, helping Jack and Frankie re-stock the fridges, he’d completely lost track of the time. The shower made him feel a lot better, he even had time to get ease his hangover, briefly followed by a couple of headache tablets. And to help him take his mind off things and the thoughts in his head, those of someone in particular, Craig had decided to go help in the pub.
“Craig, those fridges need filling today, not next week” harped Jack, “Ooo Jack let him get on with it will you!” retorted Frankie in Craig’s defence.
“Sorry Jack just needed to my mind off things” Craig replied. Craig carried on filling the fridges for a few moments…
“Aren’t you meant to be going out today Craig?” Frankie asked softly, “Yeah, am seeing John-Paul in a…” Craig stopped suddenly and looked at his watch, “damn, mum I’m sorry I got to go!” Craig got up, ran as fast as he could upstairs, went into his room and grabbed his jacket off his door, checking he had his phone, and wallet.

Craig had a text, it was from Sarah, he’d forgotten to text her back earlier, “I didn’t tell her I was going out, she won’t be able to come over!” thought Craig, feeling panicky. He quickly text her back, hoping she was still at home.

“HEY SARAH. SOZ, OVERSLEPT. GOIN’ OUT WIT JP-HAD IT PLAN-D AGES. HOPE UR K. LV CRAIG X

Craig re-read his text, he felt he was lying to his girlfriend, but he was going out with John-Paul for the day, at least that part was true. And it was John-Paul who he wanted to be around with. Just him and John-Paul…he gave out a silent sigh, a happy one. Craig pressed the continue button, and scrolled down to Sarah’s name, and pressed send.

Bringing him back to earth, the thoughts of John-Paul bought him to his senses, and immediately ran out the door, out into the living room, down stairs and out the pub front door.
Frankie and Jack hadn’t seen Craig run so fast before. “Ha, I bet he’s late” laughed Jack, “yeah, I know, bless him” replied an equally giggly Frankie.

Standing outside The Dog in the Pond, Craig got his phone out and attempted to phone John-Paul, he was all shaky, “why am I shaking? It’s just JP” thought Craig. But before he could finish his sentence, John-Paul answered his phone…”Craig where are you mate? We’re gonna be late for the fil…” Craig quickly hung up; he couldn’t get his words out, he’d gone speechless.
He needed to sit down, his head was spinning. John-Paul was in his mind, but he couldn’t speak to him…

Suddenly, Craig’s phone starts ringing; it was John-Paul, “O god why did I have to hang up on him? He’s gonna think I’m a right prat now!” Craig thought, “Better answer it”.

“Hey John-Paul, sorry…the phone it…err…cut off, sorry” Craig said un-convincingly. “Ah, typical eh? Anyway, where are you, we’re gonna late for this film at the cinema” John-Paul replied happily.
“Yeah, am just sat outside The Dog, am still getting over the hangover. Why’d you let me drink so much eh?” Craig once again sounded unconvincing to himself. “Hey once you get going, there’s no stopping you is there!” John-Paul laughed down the phone. “Well am just in Il Gnosh, looking at my empty cup of coffee”. “Will be there in ten minutes mate, gonna pace myself” Craig replied quickly. “Alright, I’ll be here waiting” with that Craig pressed his end call button.

Craig sat there for a few moments, he felt really nervous now, “I’d best be making my way now” He thought. “God, I need to tell him what I’m feeling seriously, this is messing my head up”. Craig slowly made his way down the street, trying to walk as slow as he could, it was literally two minutes from the pub to the café, but he needed the extra time to clear his head…

Chapter 5: IL Gnosh

John-Paul was still sat in Il Gnosh, he was on his second cup of coffee, “I wonder where Craig has got too, it’s been 15 minutes since he phoned” John-Paul thought, and “We’ll defiantly miss the start of the movie now”.
Dom came over with the coffee jug, “John-Paul, mate you ok? You want a re-fill?” “No thanks Dom, I’ve had more than enough coffee as it is” John-Paul laughed, “Just waiting for Craig is all, he’s late as usual”.

“Ah, well I’m sure he’ll be here soon, that new baby of Jakes is probably keeping him busy” Dom replied. “Yeah, probably…” John-Paul had drifted off into his own little world. “Well if you need anything else John-Paul, give me a shout OK” Dom said politely, “Thanks Dom, sure he’ll be here soon” John-Paul said, staring at his phone, and looking at his now half empty mug.

Craig had decided to stop again, and sat down on a bench, he was contemplating his thoughts, he hadn’t realised that time had flown by so fast. Looking at his phone, “Damn, I said I’d be there 20minutes ago, what’s John Paul going to think?” Craig thought. “Right, it’s seriously now or never”.
To that Craig stood up, and took a deep breath, and started to walk down the street, to where John-Paul would be waiting.

“John Paul!” Hannah shouted, John-Paul jumped out of his skin, and his coffee nearly flew out his hands. “Hannah…Hi” John-Paul replied shocked, “God, what’s she doing here?!” he thought.
“Why didn’t you answer your phone earlier? Or reply to my text?” Hannah asked in a demanding tone. “Ah…sorry…phone was playing up, you know how it’s temperamental, and then the signal went, I’m sorry” JP replied quickly, he didn’t know what else to say. Hannah looked at him suspiciously, and sat down next to him. “John-Paul, are you alright, you’ve been acting differently lately” Hannah asked softly. “Nooo, I’m fine, honestly, just got a lot my mind, with school and assignments and that” He had to lie; he couldn’t tell Hannah what he was really thinking, and who he was thinking about.

“Anyway, what are doing here?” Hannah asked. John-Paul felt she was firing questions at him; he just wanted her to leave him alone, for now at least. “Just waiting for Craig, we’re meant to be going out to Cinema” John-Paul said, looking at his phone, “but it looks like we’ll not catch the one we had intended on seeing”. “You know what Craig’s like John-Paul, never one to keep to the time” Hannah giggled nudging her boyfriends arm. “Right well I’m gonna get going, going to Sarah’s, said she wants to talk to me, and we’re gonna have a girly day in”.

John-Paul plucked up suddenly, “what does she want to talk to you about?” he said slightly worried. “I don’t know, just said we need to talk more” Hannah replied. “I’ll love you and leave you now John-Paul” with that Hannah kissed John-Paul. “You too” he said. Hannah left, and went out into the square and started walking away. John-Paul breathed a sigh relief.
Craig was almost to the square, he caught sight of Hannah, but she didn’t see him. She was in her own world as always.

He got to Il Gnosh, and gave a deep breath. And he walked through the doors. John-Paul saw him immediately; his eyes hadn’t left the door, hoping that each person that came through would have been Craig. But his time had finally come, Craig looked slightly pale, John-Paul put it down to the amount of drink he’d had the previous night.

“Craig! Over here” John-Paul barely shouted, Craig shot him a glance, and smiled, acknowledging he’d seen him. “John Paul! Sorry I’m late mate, got held up at the pub” Craig lied, he had too once again. John-Paul laughed, “It’s alright…I’ll forgive you…this time”. “We’ve missed the movie ain’t we?” Craig said in a disappointed tone, “Yeah, but there’s others on, and it’ll be showing again later too” John-Paul said, this cheered Craig up; as long as he was with JP he was happy anyway. “Cool” Craig said casually as not to look too overly excited. “Come on let’s get going” John-Paul said in a positive tone. They got up, and John Paul shouted thanks to Dom for the drinks, and walked out of Il Gnosh together…

Chapter 6: The Cinema

As the bus pulled up outside the cinema in Chester, John-Paul and Craig piled off, and stood outside the cinema. “That was suitably the slowest bus I’ve ever been on” Craig said laughing. “Your not kidding, I think the driver must of thought it was Sunday” John-Paul replied. They walked over to the film listings on the door. “Come on, we’d best pick what we want to watch” Craig said, Craig got up close to the door and started looking down the list, there was so much showing.

John-Paul just stood there, looking at Craig; he loved stealing looks at him. “O what about, Blood Diamond? John Paul?” Craig turned round, “You alright?” “Yeah, course, sounds great, you wanna watch that one then?” John-Paul replied, he’d turned to look at the door listings long before Craig turned round. “Yep, I’ll pay” Craig said nicely, “I owe it to you…because…” Craig was about to say something, but thought, and continued, “Well I was late wasn’t I, and we missed the one we had planned”.
“Sure, I’ll get the drinks then” John-Paul laughed.

They walked into the cinema, and waited in line. “Yes Gentleman?” the cash clerk asked. “Two for…erm…Blood Diamond please” Craig said, looking at John-Paul for confirmation, John-Paul nodded. “OK, normal seats or luxury?” the clerk continued. “Normal please” Craig replied. “That’ll be £9.00 then please”. Craig handed the money over, “and here are your tickets, enjoy your film”.

Craig and John-Paul got their food and drinks from the food area, and made their way into the screen, there wasn’t many people in the screen they were in.

“Hmmm, maybe I could tell him now?” Craig thought, “Nah, I can’t, don’t wanna ruin the time I spend with John Paul do I”. They walked up the stairs, and picked two seats in the middle, they weren’t too close or too far back. The film started soon after, there was only about ten to fifteen people watching the movie.

Craig was laughing, and getting really into the story line. John-Paul took this opportunity to take more sneaky looks at Craig, “God he looks nice today, he always does though” he thought. He kept looking at him from the corner of his eye, so that he kept his attention on the movie, just in case Craig was to turn round and ask him something.

All this time, Craig was laughing, but the film had died down a bit by now, and John-Paul was getting twitchy. “Craig, Craig” John-Paul whispered. “I’m just gonna go the toilet, be back in a minute” “Sure, sure, hurry back OK” Craig had said something that got John-Paul’s attention.

John Paul made his way out the screen, and headed off to the toilet, “Hurry back?” he thought, as he was washing his hands, “What does he mean hurry back? Probably just don’t want me to miss much of the film”. John-Paul dried his hands, and headed back to the screen, trying not to think what Craig meant. He got back into the screen, and Craig had his arms on the arm rests of the seats, John-Paul didn’t notice, and sat back down. As he did, he had his hand on top of Craig’s and as soon as he realised, he quickly retracted it. “Sorry Craig, you’re always taking up all the room” John-Paul whispered but with a slight laugh. “It’s OK, you missed an awesome part” Craig replied. John-Paul didn’t really care to be honest. He was too interested in Craig, touching his hand was the closest he’d ever gotten, and probably as far as he will ever get he thought. “Never mind, I’ll get to watch it when it comes out on DVD” John-Paul said quietly.

Craig thought, “If only he’d knew, he hadn’t missed anything, it was me who was missing him” Whilst John-Paul had gone off to the toilet, Craig’s attention to the film had disappeared and found himself staring at the seat where his best friend had been sat. “How can I tell him? What do I tell him? What will he say when I tell him?” Craig thought, but no sooner had he thought this, he had seen John-Paul walk back into the screen, and quickly turned his attention back to the movie…

The film had finally finished, “Glad that’s over” John-Paul thought, but then again he got to spend some time alone with Craig, but that was enough to keep him smiling. They made their way out. “Good film Craig” John-Paul said happily, “Yeah was well good” Craig replied, he was thinking the same as John-Paul, he’d got to spend some time him, and managed to get his thoughts together, and he’d made his decision, the final decision that would possibly change both their lives forever…

Chapter 7: The Party

John-Paul was in his bedroom, he’d over two hours getting ready for Hannah’s party, but it wasn’t for Hannah that’d he’d taken so long to get ready for…it was for Craig, he wanted to make a good impression, and he was ready to show him how he felt, how he truly felt.

John-Paul had his best jeans on, and his best shirt, his jet black smart shirt, and done his hair to how it usually was, but made the extra effort for obvious reasons. And finally got his shoes out, and shined them up. Doing all these things made him smile to him-self; he was going to impress Craig like never before. He went downstairs, and got the present and card off the kitchen work top and shouted to his mum upstairs, “I’m going now, might be late back!” “OK love, have a good time!” Myra replied. JP thought to himself, I hope so. And went for the door and headed off…

Meanwhile Craig was at home too, except Sarah was with him. He was just finishing getting ready, he was thinking about someone all time, and it wasn’t about his girlfriend. “Craig! Come on hurry up!” Sarah shouted to Craig who was in the bedroom. “I’ll be out in a minute” Craig shouted back. “How do I explain to Sarah how I feel? What’s she going to make of who I am? She’s gonna hate me” He said to himself, staring into the mirror, adjusting his tie, and his hair. “Ready” he said. Craig came out into the living room where Sarah was waiting for him, “Are you ready now Craig?” Sarah asked, “Yeah let’s go” Craig smiled. To be truthful, he couldn’t have been more scared in his entire life. They made their way down to the pub, and Frankie waved them off. “See you later Craig, have a good time, behave yourself!” she shouted. “Bye Mum” Craig replied back and off they went

Hannah was enjoying her party so far, everything was going great, she had her boyfriend with her, and her two best mates were there too. The four of them were having a good time. The house was packed full of people, Hannah couldn’t believe how many people had shown up.

John-Paul brought Hannah out into the hallway where it wasn’t much quieter, but at least they could talk, and he wanted to give her his present.
“Hannah, think I should give you your present now” John-Paul said with a smile, He took out his pocket a little box and handed it to Hannah. “I didn’t know what to get you, so hope you like this” Hannah opened the box, it contained a necklace, it was an 18th pendent. “Ooo John-Paul I love it!” Hannah gleamed. “It’s perfect! Help me put it on”. “OK, turn around,” he said, and put the necklace around her. “It looks nice on you” John-Paul smiled. It’s all he could do.

“Hey you two, what you doing out here!?” Craig shouted through, “Craig, look what John-Paul got me for my birthday!!” Hannah said excitedly. JP just smiled. Craig looked at him; he couldn’t help but feel sorry for John-Paul. He didn’t know why he just did. “It looks very nice Han’, you know where Sarah has gone?” Craig said. “Ah, no, I thought she was with you?” Hannah replied, looking slightly confused. John-Paul chipped in at this point, “She’s probably at the drinks table making cocktails”.

Sure enough, Sarah was at the drinks table, but with Rhys. She was all over him, she was a drunk as she could get. And Rhys…well he was putting out all the stops to have a pop at her in more ways than one. Everyone else was dancing, and having a good time even getting more than slightly drunk.

Craig came into the main area, and saw Sarah at the drinks table with Rhys, he saw red immediately, but didn’t do anything at first. He just watched, and waited for her to make a wrong move.

Then it happened, Rhys moved in on a drunken Sarah, and they started to kiss. To this, Craig snapped, his face turned red with pure anger. “OI! What the hell do you think your doing Sarah!?” Craig ran over, through the crowd, and knocked Rhys to the floor, and started punching him, till Rhys started bleeding, “Craig! Stop it!” Sarah pleaded. “Why? Would you rather I not hurt him!” Craig venomously shouted back. “I thought we were good together Sarah” Craig continued as he got up, Rhys was on the floor covered in blood.

“Craig I’m sorry, I didn’t know what I was doing” Sarah pleaded once again, “Leave it out Sarah! I’m not interested anymore!” Craig screamed back, his face full of pure anger and frustration. Craig ran out the back door of the Ashworth’s house.

John-Paul, Hannah and the rest of people at the party looked on at a stunned and confused Sarah. Gillie was helping Rhys upstairs to get cleaned up.
“Hannah, I’m gonna go see if Craig’s alright” John-Paul said quickly, and ran out the back door to check on his best mate, and the one he secretly loved…

Chapter 8: The Secret Confession

Craig was in back yard of the Ashworth’s house, he was sat down against the wall. Sobbing his heart out over what he saw, what he was feeling, how he felt inside, his secret emotions that he couldn’t feel he could share with anyone else.

John-Paul came out to see Craig, to see how he was; he stopped at the door, and looked to where Craig was sitting. “Look at him” he thought, “He’s heartbroken, how could Sarah do that to him? He’s mad about her, now he’s just mad with her!” He opened the door; “Craig” John-Paul said softly, he closed the door, so that no one inside could hear.

“Leave me alone John-Paul” Craig managed to blubber out, “I’m not interested” “Hey I’m not going to till I know your OK” JP sat beside Craig, “come on we’re best mates aren’t we, we can talk about anything” John-Paul smiled. Craig looked up, and thought, “If only we COULD talk about anything, then things would be a whole lot better”, but he responded “We can John-Paul, thanks for being here for me, you’re the only one I can trust, you and Hannah that is”

“Why did you come out here after me?” Craig asked, wiping away his tears, “Why didn’t you stay inside with Hannah?” John Paul shrugged and scrunched his nose up “I just wanted to make sure you were alright is all, you looked pretty angry back there” John-Paul continued “I want to look out for you Craig, I don’t…I don’t…want to see you getting hurt” Had John-Paul finally said too much? He could feel him-self getting butterflies, had he made it clear to Craig how he felt?

“Thanks for caring mate” Craig said, whilst trying to get his breath back. “There’s something I need to tell you, but I’m scared. I’m scared you’re going to hate me, and not want to talk with me” “Craig there’s nothing that you could tell me that would make me hate you” John-Paul replied in a caring tone.

Craig couldn’t get his words out, he couldn’t even speak, and he was too washed up with emotions. John-Paul had never seen his best friend like this before; he wondered if there was more than meets the eye with him.

“Right, come on get up” John-Paul said stumbling his feet, and held his hand out. Craig hesitated at first, and put his head in his hands, and started to cry. “John-Paul, I can’t believe what’s happened tonight, everything’s ****ed up, including me!” Craig sobbed. “Craig get up will you” JP insisted this time, and held his hand out.



Craig took his hand eventually, and John-Paul pulled him up. “Craig, I don’t want to see you hurt, not ever, you’re the best friend I’ve ever had” JP thought, this was now or never, he wanted to tell Craig how he felt, but with how he looked, and what happened inside, he didn’t know if it was such a good idea.

John-Paul started to cry, he turned his back to Craig, and he couldn’t look at him, his emotions washed over him, all his feelings surfacing. All the feelings that had been bottled up over the months, they were about to be released.

“John Paul?” Craig asked whilst sniffling. “What’s wrong?” “Craig…there’s something I have to tell you, and I know this isn’t the best time to do so, but it has to be said, and it has to be done now” John-Paul said, he still couldn’t turn round to Craig. “What is it John-Paul? Tell me please” Craig asked, placing his hand on JPs Shoulder; he shrugged Craig’s hand off, “Don’t Craig, I’m scared! And I don’t know how you’re gonna react!”

“Well tell me John-Paul! We’ll get through this! Together!” Craig demanded, but said in a caring way. John-Paul turned round, tears streaming down his face. Craig stood there, “What’s up with him? He looks so sad and upset, what’s troubling him?” Craig thought. “John-Paul tell me please!!”

“Craig…I…I can’t…I can’t stop…I can’t stop thinking about someone” John-Paul sobbed, “And I’m so scared they’re gonna hate me for it” “What? Who?” Craig asked. “It’s…I can’t…don’t make me Craig” John-Paul was keeping quiet, he wanted to tell, but couldn’t. “John Paul!” Craig got both his hands, grabbed JPs Arms. “Tell me…tell me please” Craig was getting frustrated, with everything going on his head, he didn’t need this, or so he thought. What was John-Paul trying to tell him?

“Craig…It’s…It’s…y…yo…you! I can’t stop thinking about you Craig; I want to be the one person in your life, which can care for you, that can love you!” John Paul had said it, “I kill’s me when I see you with Sarah! It does, because I want to be one that you’re with!” Craig’s face turned, he was stunned to the spot. “Craig I…I…I’m in love with you! I am, there I’ve said it” John-Paul burst out crying. “I’m sorry Craig”. Craig just stood there, shell-shocked, “John Paul” He said softly “I…” He couldn’t finish his sentence; he was still processing what he’d just heard. John-Paul was in love with him.

”Craig I’m sorry!” John-Paul shouted, but before Craig could say anything more, he’d bolted out the back gate into the street. Craig couldn’t move, still reeling from John Paul’s confession, his love for him.

Craig could hear John-Paul sobbing on the other side of the wall, but they were getting quieter, John-Paul was walking away, hobbling away, had he missed his chance to tell John-Paul how he felt too…

Need to wait a while...

Chapter 9 has a trigger word in it apparantly, I'll wait till it appears then post the next three chapters

Chapter 9: Lost in Love

John-Paul was leaning on the back wall outside the Ashworth’s gate, he couldn’t hear Craig, and he didn’t think he’d want to talk to him ever again.

“Why did I have to do that?! Why? Why? Why?” John-Paul thought, “I’ve ruined it, I’ve ruined everything we ever had”. He couldn’t stop his tears; all his emotions had been put on full pelt, and there was stopping. John Paul sobbed, and he started walking slowly back into the square, he needed to get away from everything, he wanted to be with Craig, he felt so alone in the big wide world. It felt as if everyone would be against him.

John-Paul came into the square, no one was about, everywhere was deserted, only the lights on Drive ‘n Buy were on but no one was in. He sat down on the bench in Jubilee Gardens, and put his head in his hands, he couldn’t think straight, his head was everywhere, and all he could think about was how much he could of possibly hurt Craig, he didn’t want to him, he didn’t intend his emotions to come just like that he thought.

Craig was still in the Ashworth’s backyard, he was still frozen to the spot. “Jo…John…Pau…Paul” he managed to limp out. “He felt the same way as me, all this time” Craig thought, feeling confused and motionless. His legs were about to give way, he ran over to the wall, and leaned against it.

He was sitting on the floor against the wall; he couldn’t stop his own tears again. He burst out crying, he couldn’t give a dam n who would see him now, his world had come crashing down. His girlfriend was seeing a scu-m-bag behind his back, and his best mate had just confessed his feelings, and Craig didn’t even have a chance to explain back how he felt, was it love? Was this what he felt his special connection with John-Paul was, how he always felt so comfortable around, never had to put on a show, he was always himself, maybe a bit to much him-self.

“Craig…” Hannah came out the back door, “Craig are you alright?” looking down at Craig with worry, “What has Sarah done to him?” she thought. “Leave…Hannah, just let me be alone please” Craig replied sobbing. “Come on Craig, it’s not the end of the world” she said positively, if only Hannah knew why he REALLY was crying. “Do you know where John-Paul went? I saw him run after you?” Hannah said calmly. “He…He…umm…” Craig couldn’t tell her what had just happened. “I don’t know Han’, thought he went back inside” Craig lied. “O right, he must of sneaked back in” Hannah smiled. “Are you going to come back in Craig?” “No, I don’t want to be near her!” Craig said sharply, “I’m gonna stay out here for a bit”.


“OK, Craig, well come back in when your ready” Hannah smiled to Craig, “Me and John-Paul will keep you company” she continued. Little did she know, he wasn’t even in her house? Hannah walked back inside, shutting the back door quietly, the party had really taken off now, and it was so noisy. Craig was glad to be outside in the cold in a way, he was away from everything…

Chapter 10: Mum’s the Word…

John-Paul was still sat on the bench, but had decided enough was enough; he didn’t want to be like he was. So he decided to get up, and headed towards home.

Myra was home, the only one in, as all the other McQueen’s had gone out for the night, and she was just sat on the sofa on the television. The key turned in the door, and she spun round, it was John-Paul.

“Hey Love…your back earl…y, what’s the matter sweetheart?” Myra asked, seeing John-Paul in floods of tears. “It’s nothing mum, I…I don’t know what to do!” he managed to get out these words. Myra got up quickly, and ran over to her son, and gave him a big hug. “John-Paul what’s a matter?” he said holding him tightly. “I’ve screwed up big time mum, I don’t know what I’m going to do” he said quietly. “Who with, Hannah?” she asked confusingly.

John-Paul pulled back, “No, me and Hannah are fine…I think, it’s…” he sniffled, and looked to the floor. “Its Craig mum, I’ve made a terrible mistake!” “Look at me love, what ever it is; it’s got to you to get you in this state? Myra replied. “What ever it is, we’ll get through it together, you’re my son and I’m always here for you no matter what”

“But I’m scared you’re gonna hate me, I don’t know what to do, my heads everywhere” John-Paul hesitated, “John-Paul tell me” Myra said, looking worried, but with a caring tone. “I…I…I think I’m in love with someone mum” John-Paul barely got his words out; he was now feeling sick to his stomach. “Who? Craig? You’re in love with Craig?” Myra replied, knowing her son, she could of seen a difference in him these past months, he was always at his best when he was around Craig Dean she thought.

He ran upstairs, and slammed his bedroom door, John-Paul threw himself on his bed, and just lay there; looking at his bed side table where his photo of him and Craig was. He turned over so he didn’t see it.

A knock came to John-Paul’s door; it was his mum of course. “Son…listen you’ve got nothing to be ashamed of really” she sat down on his bed next to him. “Listen John-Paul, I know how you’re feeling, I’ve seen a difference in you when you’ve been around Craig, I still love you son” John-Paul sat up, Myra faced him. “Look, dry you’re eyes, because I don’t like to see my lad crying, and you’re crying over nothing, now come here and give your mum a hug”
To this John-Paul didn’t hesitate, he hugged his mum like he’d never hugged her before. “Come on, I’ll make you something to eat, then you can tell me everything that’s been troubling you” Myra said softly, JP just nodded.

And they went downstairs and John-Paul sat on the sofa whilst his mum made them something to eat. “Here you go love” Myra said handing him a plate of sandwiches, “Thanks” JP replied. Myra went back into the kitchen and got together some snacks and put them on a tray.

“Here we go all your favourite nibbles” Myra smiled. “Yeah when I was five mum!” John-Paul laughed. “Talk to me love, tell me what’s been on your mind, it’s not good to bottle things up” Myra replied happily.

John-Paul and Myra talked and talked; she listened to him, and took it all in. He told her everything, and about this evening as well, and what had happened in the Ashworth’s back yard. “He just stood there mum, he didn’t say anything, and I think I’ve ruined us as mates” John-Paul said biting into his sandwich. “He was probably just shocked son, it’s not everyday that your best mate confesses his feelings to you, it’s hit him, and he had to think” Myra said taking JPs Hand. “Don’t think that he’ll hate you, its something big to him, he just needs to time to think” John-Paul just nodded to this, “So you think he’ll be alright with me then?” he said looking positive. “Yeah” Myra smiled, “just give him some time”…

Chapter 11: The Morning After…

John-Paul had fallen asleep in the living room, on the sofa the previous night following their talk. Myra had left him be, and went to get him a pillow and a blanket and he slept soundly all night.

The rest of the McQueen girls had stayed out, so he didn’t get disturbed, and the fact that Myra had told them they needed to stay away because she wanted to talk with him, the girls did listen to their mother for once.

There was a knock at the door; Myra came down as not to disturb John-Paul from his slumber. She opened the door slightly and it was Hannah. “Hi Mrs McQueen, is John-Paul about?” “He’s asleep at the moment, he’s not feeling well” Myra replied quietly. “Oh OK, It’s just I didn’t see much last night at my party, wondered if there was something wrong” Hannah retorted, “Do you want me to tell him to call you or see you later?” Myra said, she knew about John-Paul now, and she didn’t want to upset Hannah, John-Paul needed to tell her himself how he felt, she thought.

“Yeah, ok, I’ll be at home all day, I need to help to clean up last nights mess” Hannah laughed nervously. “Alright sweetheart, I’ll let him know” with that Myra closed the door quietly. John-Paul was still fast asleep, Myra looked over to him. “O John-Paul, I hope everything turns out well” She thought.

Craig was at home as well, however he had slept in his bed, and he told no one of what happened between him and John-Paul, besides he didn’t want to embarrass the one that he loved, but since John-Paul ran off, Craig didn’t have chance to let him know how he felt.

He sat at the table in the kitchen, running his spoon round his bowl of cereal, thinking “If only I’d said something sooner, then we wouldn’t be in this mess, John-Paul wouldn’t have run off and we’d be together this morning”. No one was in the house area of the pub, Jake and baby Charlie had gone out for the day, Jack & Frankie were downstairs in the pub, and Steph was at an audition. He relished the quiet, but couldn’t stop thinking of John-Paul and how he’d told Craig that he was in love with him.

“Right, I need to go over there, I need to talk to him, and I need to know if he’s alright” Craig thought. “I can’t just sit here, It’ll do my nut in” He got up, threw his bowl in the sink, and ran to his bedroom, slipped his shoes on and his black jacket. And Craig headed for the door.

Back at the McQueen household, John-Paul was still asleep, and Myra was in the kitchen keeping busy, but trying not to make much noise as not to wake her son up. The door went again, “What is it with people this morning? It’s like the McQueen drop in session!” thought Myra. She went over to the door, but disturbed John-Paul, he was just waking up.
She opened the door, “Hey, is John-Paul about Mrs McQueen?” Craig said sheepishly, “I need to talk to him”. “He’s here, Craig, he’s asleep at the minu…” Myra stopped, “Who is it mum?” John-Paul said as he sat up. Myra turned round to face him. “Its Craig love, shall I let him in?” “Yeah, don’t leave him out in the cold!” John-Paul said with a laugh.

Myra stepped aside, “Come in, I’ll leave you two to talk”, she quickly got her coat and went out to leave them to talk.

“Morning Mate” Craig said shyly, “Hey” John-Paul said quietly, wiping the sleep from his eyes. “What are you doing here Craig?” he said looking confused, “I didn’t think you’d want to see me after what happened last night”. “Well…I wanted to see how you were” he said, sitting down next to John-Paul, “And I never got to tell you what I needed to tell you”

“Listen, I’m sorry for not saying anything last night, I didn’t know what to say” Craig begun to say, he was looking John-Paul right in the eyes, he could see that he didn’t need to apologise but he did anyway “I was just overly emotional and that over what happened with Sarah, hope you don’t take what you told me the wrong way in how I reacted”

John-Paul just smiled, and sighed. “Thanks Craig, I’m just sorry it had to come out like that, I didn’t mean it too, I didn’t mean to scare you” Craig thought, John-Paul didn’t scare him, in fact, he actually relished the fact that someone said they loved him, and they meant it, and did what John-Paul did.

“And I won’t ever mention what I said last night to you OK, I don’t want to ruin what we have to be honest, can we go back to how things were?” John-Paul said. Craig wasn’t listening, he’d been thinking again. “Craig!” JP nudged him, “Wha…sorry…what did you say?” Craig said startled, “Craig are you alright?” JP asked.

“Yeah…I mean…No…yeah I’m ok, sorry” Craig just smiled, “Craig I know there’s something wrong, you’re different I can tell” John Paul started laughing. “What’s so funny? Did I say something funny?” “No…No…forget it Craig, it’s nothing” John-Paul looked to the floor.

“…John-Paul…I’ve not been entirely honest with you myself” Craig had said it, he couldn’t stop now, “What you said to me last night…I was shocked…but I was amazed, I didn’t think it was anything bad really” John-Paul just nodded, wondering where Craig was going with this. “I’ve got…these feelings…inside of me, and I don’t know what they mean, all what you said last night, it made so much sense to me, more than you could see” John Paul looked up, he looked as if the penny had dropped.


“I mean to say that…all what you said to me, I wanted to say it back to you, except the Sarah bit” Craig carried on; John Paul looked on confused at what he’d just been told. “No…No…I mean to say that, when I see you with Hannah, It hurt’s…because…I want to be the one that you’re…with…” Craig started to cry. “John-Paul, I…want to be one that you are with all the time, I’m always myself when we’re together, and I…I…I just can’t stop thinking about you…”

John-Paul just looked on, had Craig just done what he thought he’d done? Has Craig confessed his feelings? The ones that he himself thought weren’t there. John-Paul placed his hand on Craig’s arm. “Craig…what are you saying?”

“I…I…I think…I’m…I’m in love with…y…you John-Paul, no, no” Craig sobbed, John-Paul looked even more confused when Craig had no, “No, I know, I know that I’m in love with you John-Paul, you make my heart skip a beat, and no one else has ever done that before” Craig held his head in his hands, hoping that this was it, that this was enough for John-Paul to see, and his apology. No he thought…

“John-Paul, look at me, I’m sorry for last night, and for this just now, I didn’t know whether you wanted to hear it, Craig said, John-Paul looked right into Craig’s eyes. “Craig…I’m…in shock…I didn’t know you felt the same” John-Paul said, starting to smile. They were staring at each other, Craig and John-Paul were alone, they moved in closer, and Craig said close to John-Paul’s lips “I love you…John-Paul” and lightly touched his lips, hoping that John-Paul would reciprocate the kiss. He did, they didn’t open their eyes, and they were locked in a light passionate kiss.

So much so, they didn’t hear the key in the door turn, someone had just walked in on them kissing…