this is the first thing i have wrote since i left school but the story was just in my head so this is the first chapter i hope you like it. comments would be appreciated well here goes

thanks



This is set when Craig gets back from his holiday with Sarah. This is how the story should unfold……….


chapter 1

John Paul and Spike were sat in jp’s kitchen drinking tea JP had apologised for the events in his bedroom a few days earlier and broke down telling Spike everything….well almost everything he left out the fact that he had cheated on spike with Craig but other than that told him everything about how the two of them had been sleeping together Craig proclaiming his love for him and how he had told Craig to make a choice. Most of all he had apologized to spike for leading him on for attempting to use this man to make him forget about Craig when he had left him to go on holiday with his “girlfriend”. He had been crying throughout his retelling of the story and never once had spike spoken. When jp finally raised his head from staring at the floor he had found spike standing staring at him……

“spike…..spike please say something” jp finally managed to whisper through his sobs he felt so guilty he knew that he had hurt spike and he just wanted him to have some sort of reaction anything had to be better than this deafening silence.

“go and wash your face and clean yourself up….I don’t know about you but I need a drink!” spike said gently looking into jps eyes and seeing all the hurt in those beautiful blue spheres spike hated seeing jp like this he did really like this man and had thought that maybe just maybe they could have been good together but he knew now that they would never be able to be more than friends. This mans heart belonged to another.

Jp slowly stood up looking at spike he was so confused how could spike not hate him? why had he not hit him? or shouted? or anything? looking at spikes eyes he could only see pity and this hurt him more causing him to cry deep racking sobs he had cheated on this man and had just admitted he was in love with someone else and yet spike was feeling sorry for him how could this be? He didn’t deserve pity or sympathy or anything from this man who had given him so much already his first gay relationship he had given him confidence and they had a relationship that wasn’t hidden from the world. He had also been the first man jp had been intimate with before him he had only kissed Craig once that was as far as it had gone. Spike had shown him how good it could be to make love to another man how right it felt as opposed to his previous encounters with Hannah.

Spike caught hold of jp who was about to fall to the ground and slowly guided him back to the chair holding him tight and kissing his head he whispered soothing words to jp until his tears subsided slightly.

“w why don’t you h h hate me?” jp managed to stutter through sobs

spike smiled and pushing jp away from him slightly looked into his face “I always told you it was just a bit of no strings fun john Paul I knew you were in love with him……I suppose deep down I knew that there was something between the two of you….. I just never thought it would be……err….sexual”

jp smiled back although it didn’t quite reach his eyes as he whispered “me neither”

spike wiped jp’s face free of the tears he had shed and “I always knew you two were close I envied it in some ways you two can almost read each others minds somehow I always felt a little left out….. and then when he hated me I thought it was cos he was homophobic, and then I thought he was worried he would lose you…………. I suppose now at least I know he was jealous cos he wanted to be with you himself” spike sighed he really did like jp but he had always known it wouldn’t last forever he had been the one to say it was just a bit of harmless fun he had done it to distance himself and to stop himself getting hurt although now he realized it was too late he was hurting he had started to fall for jp but that was nothing compared to what jp was going through right now and he knew that right now jp needed a friend and if nothing else he wanted to stay friends with this man.

“Right come on you go and get yourself ready we are going for a drink” spike was determined he was gonna calm jp down cheer him up even advise him if he had to he just hated seeing him like this, Especially since he hadn’t been completely honest with jp himself.

Jp hesitated for a minute or two and then seeing the look on spikes face knew that this man was trying to help when he should hate him was trying to make him feel better and some how it calmed jp and he stood to go and get himself ready.

Ten minutes later the two boys were walking down the road towards the pub in silence neither quite knowing what to say spike so wary of making jp cry again that he decided to let jp start the conversation. Jp so lost in his thoughts that it came to a shock to both of them as they walked through the beer garden of the dog “john Paul, spike oh i've missed you”

Jp looked to spike for some help something how was he gonna cope with this?

“hi Sarah” spike said smiling how was the holiday?” he gave Sarah a hug and then placed a hand on jps back gently pushing him forwards to do the same smiling at jp and nodding hoping this reassurance might work.

“Sarah…… I d d didn’t know y y you were back” jp stuttered looking around for Craig he wasn’t sure he could cope with that just yet

“Aww are you two back together? That’s so sweet I am so glad it’s nice to see you two happy together again. I have so much to tell you both about the holiday it was soooo good sit down I’ll go and get Craig to get you both a drink” and with that she turned and stalked strait back into the pub she hadn’t even paused for breath.

“what am I gonna do spike? this is such a mess” jp felt like he could hardly breath

“do you really love him? and want him? I mean really want him?” spike asked searching jp’s eyes and already knowing the answer

“yes” was the whisper that escaped from jp’s mouth as he looked at the floor he couldn’t lie anymore not after telling spike almost the whole truth earlier

spike watched his ex knowing how hard this must be for him to admit. “ok follow my lead and let me do the majority of the talking ok?”

“w w what?” jp looked confused
“you trust me don’t you?” a small nod was his answer “and you want to be with him don’t you?” again a small nod was his only answer “then trust me Craig Dean will be begging for forgiveness and declaring his love for you to the world by the time I have finished!” a cheeky grin and a mischievous look in his eyes “come on lets get a table”

“what are you planning” jp asked spike could here the nervousness and slight excitement in his voice but they were interrupted by Sarah and Craig joining them

spike just gave him a cheeky grin and a wink and said “wouldn’t you like to know”

“not interrupting anything are we” Craig asked he could feel himself losing his temper already he had only been away ten days and jp had obviously ran back to his ex how dare he….. oh god what am I thinking I did it to him first maybe he is just trying to get his revenge….maybe he has changed his mind and decided he doesn’t want me anymore… oh god what have I done? Craig shook his head trying to calm himself with deep breaths knowing that he had to speak to jp and find out what was happening as soon as possible.

Spike just smiled at him “it can keep till we get home” and then spike leaned to jp so that their mouths were almost touching “and I will explain the rest of my plans for you when we are alone” he breathed seductively before kissing him

Jp’s head reeled what was spike doing why did he just kiss him he felt his mouth dry up and his face redden Sarah and Craig would think that he meant… oh god was that spikes plan that they get back together…. What was going on?

Spike whispered into jp’s ear “I told you just play along I will explain all later” pulling away from him spike smiled kindly hoping that jp could find the strength to get though what was no doubt going to be a difficult afternoons drinking with the “happy couple” he smiled to himself his plan coming together in his head he was gonna get jp the man of his dreams even if it meant he would only ever be able to be jp’s friend what he wanted more than anything was for jp to be happy. He was hoping that jp would play along he knew he needed to explain the plan and he would as soon as he had finished formulating it in his own head.

Brill starts hun, And welcome to the forums

Oooh i like it

ooo i like i like!!

Bril start continue soon oh and welcome to the forums xxx

thanks for the great comments and the welcomes.

here is chapter 2 not sure how good it is as i have just done it at work (friday afternoon and i am taking advantage of being the only person in my office hehe)
anyway here it is hope you like it

Chapter 2

Spike could feel JP tense every time Sarah touched Craig, kissed him, started telling one of her endless stories of how great their holiday had been. Spike had always liked Sarah but knowing the pain this was all causing to JP he was beginning to imagine what it would feel like to just stand up and tell her to shut her whining face! He knew he couldn’t do it though, and to be honest she was just telling her friends about the holiday she had no idea what was really going on here. He couldn’t help but feel sorry for her the innocent party, like himself (well if he had been innocent however he hadn’t confessed to jp yet and didn’t know if he would). Looking at Craig spike suddenly realized that he had hardly took his eyes off the ground the whole time they had been sat at this table had hardly spoken and when he did it was directed at jp no one else seemed to exist to him.

Sarah’s stories finally becoming to much for him jp stood up and mumbled something about going to the toilet and walked slowly into the pub. Craig almost leapt from his seat and spike couldn’t help but smile he was so obvious thought spike I bet he says he is gonna go to the bar.

“I um … drinks….I need another drink” and with that he stumbled into the pub and away from his girlfriend who he felt had been smothering him all afternoon he felt that for the first time in days he could breath again and he had to tell jp he had to sort things out he had messed everything up yet again and this time he was going to be the last time he was going to have his man whatever it took. He would even come out on national TV if he had to (even though he knew he wasn’t gay he didn’t care he would do anything)



Spike had quickly removed his phone from his pocket as soon as Craig had left the table and scrolled to JP’s number knowing that Craig would head strait to him. He was racking his brains to think of a way to convey to jp at least the first part of his plan whilst not letting on to Sarah what was going on. That was something Craig would have to tell her and that was a part of his little plan he didn’t want to ruin anything so early on. The call however went through to voice mail and spike was forced to hope his friend would stay strong whilst listening to Sarah and the story of her holiday.

“so” said spike finally managing to get a word in to the conversation “just the two of you on holiday wow I bet you were like a pair of sun burnt bunnies out there” he laughed trying to gauge from Sarah’s expression how close to the truth he was. He may be fully aware of how jp felt and what he had told him of Craig’s actions and words but he needed to know how the relationship between Sarah and Craig was going to know how much he could hope to achieve through his plan. The last thing he wanted to do was to raise jp’s hopes too high.

Sarah blushed slightly looked into spikes eyes and felt the tears start to sting “oh spike…” she whispered struggling to hold back the tears as she began to take deep breaths to calm herself spike reached across the table to hold her hand

“what’s the matter Sarah?… come on you can tell me” spike told her in the most soothing voice he could find he suddenly felt that his plan was going to be much easier than he had originally thought he just hoped that doing this for jp would ease his own guilt after all he had a few secrets of his own.

“It’s just ….. Craig seems….. I don’t know…” and she started to sob quietly unable to find the words to express her confusion and fear.

Spike moved to sit beside her and putting a comforting arm around her said “now come on Sarah it can’t be that bad” although he knew that was a lie “just tell me I might be able to help”

“ it nothing really we are just going through a bad patch” Sarah finally said “Craig is just….. being distant with me………. but I know he is worried about his exam results so when they come through I know we will get back to normal” she knew this wasn’t true but she couldn’t admit to how she really felt. She knew that things weren’t gonna get back to normal and yet she couldn’t work out why all she really knew was Craig had changed, he wasn’t it seemed to her interested anymore but she was clinging onto him as tightly as she could not wanting their relationship to end.

Spike could see in her eyes that there was more to this but he left it he knew that things were going to be much easier for him or at least he hoped they would be.



Jp had almost run to the gents hoping no one would see the tears threatening to fall from his eyes any moment he felt his phone vibrate in the pocket of his jeans and reaching for it knew he didn’t want to speak to anyone he looked at the display and seeing it was spike knew that Craig was on his way following him. With all his strength he wiped his eyes took and took a deep breath. As he heard the door open he walked over to the sink and busied himself washing his hands if he could avoid looking into Craig’s eyes he knew he could stop himself crying he just knew he could.

Craig hadn’t even thought about what he was going to say he knew nothing would be enough so as he walked over to his friend he placed a hand on his shoulder and whispered “john Paul?”

Jp used the last of his strength to turn on the spot smile weakly at his friend (for that was all he could be now, he said in a voice that didn’t sound like his own “ don’t Craig its too late I cant let you hurt me again because next time I wont survive” there was so much emotion in his voice so much hurt that Craig stepped back as if he had been pushed. not knowing where he got this strength from he decided to use it his hurt and his fear of losing this beautiful man forever mingled together but he carried on he knew he had to he just hoped that this strength would last “ I am going to go and tell Sarah me and spike are leaving and you are going to be able to play happy heterosexuals with her cos I am not taking this anymore Craig I am not a toy you can play with when you are feeling a bit bi-curious and then dump the second you are bored, I think it best if we don’t see each other for a while” and with that he pushed past Craig. That moment, when his shoulder grazed Craig’s, the warmth that he felt in that moment and the smell of him filling his nostrils almost made him turn round….almost made him grab for that boy and kiss his beautiful warm, inviting lips, he wanted to taste that mouth even though he knew it would cause nothing but more heartache. He didn’t though he walked back outside to spike and Sarah.

As he walked towards his friends he struggled to keep his emotions in check he took a deep breath and put his hand onto spikes shoulder

spike turned to see jp he knew without a word passing between them that he needed to get jp out of there and so making excuses to Sarah about an earlier promise he had made to jp with a mischievous look in his eye and a wink at her spike put his hand on jp’s back and gently guided him away from her.

Once they were out of sight jp started to cry and spike held him they stood there for what could have been hours but in truth was probably only minutes before spike finally spoke “I think you and me have a lot to talk about” he said smiling at jp slightly “I need to tell you a few things I should have told you a long time ago” and with a deep breath he continued “and if you don’t hate me then I will tell you my plan for you…… John Paul McQueen” he said holding the younger mans chin in his hand to make him look into his eyes “I think we may be able to sort all this mess out and maybe even get a smile back onto your face” he finished with a weak smile of his own.

Jp doubted anything spike told him would make him hate this man who had been so kind and understanding he very much doubted he would ever smile again but he had no one else to talk to and he hadn’t got the energy to argue he just wanted someone to hold him and tell him everything was going to be ok even if that was childish its what he needed. Slowly they made their way silently to spikes flat each of them trying to work through the thousands of thoughts making both of their heads spin.



Craig returned to the table Sarah was sat at and when she turned to look at him he felt disgust how could he have left jp to go away with her he didn’t love her anymore (well not in that way he wanted to stay friends she was a good person)

“Where are they then?” she interrupted his thoughts

“Err….where are what?” Craig couldn’t think for the life of him what Sarah was talking about all he knew was that he wanted to be curled up on his bed crying. Inside his heart was breaking he knew that jp had meant what he said Craig had hurt him too many times but Craig was determined now that he was going to put it all right he was going to prove his love for jp he just didn’t know how and that’s what made him want to cry. He knew what must be done he just didn’t know how to go about it.

“The drinks Craig? You said you were getting more drinks” Craig was again it seemed on planet Craig where Sarah couldn’t reach him and where he seemed to spend more and more time.

“Oh....... erm… I bumped into John Paul and he said him and spike were leaving” he took a deep breath it almost choked him to say spikes name “and I am tired I think I am gonna go and have a lie down I think…” he trailed off not knowing what else to say.

“Would you like me to come and join you?” Sarah said a cheeky glint in her eye as she seductively licked her lips hoping that this might work nothing else had recently. Whilst on holiday she had almost had to beg him to sleep with her and even then she felt like he wasn’t interested just going through the motions so to speak.

“no” he spat the word at her much too quickly and he knew it. He looked into her eyes and saw the hurt he had caused her “ sorry” he said “I just don’t feel very well I’ll see you later” and with that he turned and left her he knew that he couldn’t stay a moment longer for fear of her breaking down in front of him he was still so scared he would let something slip and he wasn’t ready for that yet he had to work out how to get jp back he had to think and most of all he needed not to have everyone on his back whilst he did it.

Sarah started to sob she was clinging onto this relationship by the skin of her teeth and she knew it but for some reason she couldn’t let go she just couldn’t. She had to talk to someone but couldn’t work out who, Nancy had her own problems and Hannah was always with Melissa now, her mother was obsessed with Leah and jp had gone off with spike. Suddenly she knew the only person she would get a strait answer from and who would listen to her. Getting up she started walking purposefully to their front door.

ohhh this is brilliant, please continue i love! x x

was meant to say love it lol x

yeah - this is such a great story! i wonder what Spike's secret is though...

maybe he knows something about Sarah...that will break them up for good. ohh i hope so!

thanks for the comments am gonna try to update later on today if possible.

chapter three is here i dont thinks its very good as i struggled with it a bit its just setting up for some events that are going to happen in the next few chapters so hope you like it

Chapter 3

Sarah’s hand connected with the front door as she knocked for the second time surely there had to be someone in. taking her phone out of her pocket she scrolled through the names finally coming across Nancy’s number she pressed call but was put straight through to voicemail. Not bothering to leave a message she tried Hannah’s number knowing that Melissa would be with her.

“Hi Sarah are you back from holiday then? Did you have a good time? Are you really tanned? Did Craig like it? Oh I can’t wait to hear all about it, were the Greek waiters fit?........” came Hannah’s questions so fast that Sarah hadn’t had a chance to speak yet.

“Han, where are you I will come and see you I really need to talk!”

“oh sorry Sarah I’m in Manchester with Melissa she’s doing a photo shoot and then we are going to a party later were gonna stay with some friends of Melissa’s so I wont be back till tomorrow can it wait?”

“Ye sure……. See you later Han” Sarah managed to choke out she was lost now the only person left was John Paul but she knew where his loyalties lay and if Craig was cheating on her as Sarah suspected she was sure that JP would lie for him and cover she would do it for Hannah so it was only fair. Where was she going to go now though she couldn’t go home what with her mum trying to convince everyone that Leah was hers and her dad and Amy trying to talk sense to her. Suddenly she had a thought she would go to the SU bar and have a drink she probably wouldn’t know anyone there but she could certainly find a man to flirt with a bit of harmless fun just to make herself feel attractive again there was no harm in that was there? And with that thought in her head she set off.

Craig had reached the flat above the dog to hear the raised voices of his mother and Nancy arguing yet again about Nancy and Jakes relationship (Craig had been told in no uncertain terms by his mother as he had arrived home a few hours earlier that this was wrong and he was to back her in telling his older brother this). He attempted to get through the flat without being noticed but before he got halfway through his mother shouted him from the kitchen

“Craig come here please”

“now Craig I want you to tell these two how wrong you think their relationship is……..” Craig looked from his mother to see his older brother was stood behind Nancy both of whom seemed ready for the latest fight and Steff stood behind her mother with a smirk on her face.

“Well Craig, we are all waiting?” he realized his mother had kept telling him what he should say but he hadn’t listened to a word of it he was to busy thinking that this could have been himself and JP here listening to the same words. If he had his way they would be sat here listening to this sort of abuse from his mother he knew now that his choice had to be made and it was between the life he had always known with his family or the life he wanted with the love of his life.

Craig looked into his brothers eyes trying to work out what he should say or do and he suddenly realized that Jake looked younger than he had in months less tired and stressed somehow his eyes seemed to sparkle as they had done before all the trouble with Becca and Justin had come out. Even though things were obviously stressful Jake looked better than he had in over a year more alive somehow like he had hope again perhaps thought Craig. He needed to ask him something but wasn’t sure if he should or not taking a deep breath he tried to find the right words.

“Jake….. Do you…….are you……..does it feel right? I mean do you think this could work?”

Jake looked at his little brother and just nodded opening his mouth he simply whispered “I love her Craig”

Craig smiled at him and looking at Nancy he knew she felt the same “good” said Craig “it’s about time you stopped being such a miserable g*t”

Before Franki had chance to say another word Nancy was on her feet hugging Craig quickly she rushed into the other room shouting over her shoulder “I’m going to get Charlie I don’t want my Nephew anywhere near all this hostility” and turning to look directly at Franki she added “I think it may be better if you didn’t see Charlie for a little while….well at least until you have calmed down.”

Franki was so shocked being told by this young girl that she couldn’t see her own grandson but before she had chance to regain her composure Nancy added “I am not trying to get revenge Franki I just think it isn’t good for him to be around people who are worked up, he has already been through so much in his short life I just want him to have some normality for a little while that’s all”

“You being with his dad isn’t normal Nancy and the sooner you grow up and realize that the better” Franki spat at her

Jake walked to the door picking up Charlie’s belongings and his jacket as he went and Craig followed him helping him pack all the toys and clothes into the bag on the back of Charlie’s pram. Craig knew he would never get such a perfect opportunity to talk to his brother as today but he felt nervous he still didn’t know what reaction he would get and didn’t know how to ask Jake if he could talk to him about something in private that he knew was going to change their relationship forever.

Jake turned to Craig and hugged him. Although Craig and Jake had always been close they had never been very affectionate towards each other both being a bit too macho for that. As they pulled apart Jake looked at his little brother he didn’t know how to convey how grateful he was to Craig for standing up to his mum and backing him.

Craig was too wrapped up in his own thoughts to say anything of any use and so mumbled something about having things to do and disappeared into his room.

He knew it wouldn’t be long until his mum came demanding answers from him as to why he hadn’t backed her up so changing his shoes and grabbing a jacket he left the flat and decided that seen as he had nowhere in particular to go he headed towards the park wanting to clear his head. As he reached the door he felt a hand on his shoulder oh god he thought and fighting the urge to just run out of the door he turned slowly to see Jack smiling at him Craig furrowed his brows why would Jack look happy everything was such a mess even without Craig and his situation.

“well done son, I’m really proud of you standing up to your mum like that I know Jake appreciated it”

“thanks Jack…. I didn’t do anything though” and Craig smiled at Jack whilst saying “Nancy and Jake seem really happy together though and that’s gotta be good for Charlie hasn’t it? so I don’t see what the problem is”

jack put his hand back onto Craig’s shoulder “Craig that’s why I am proud of you because you didn’t just judge them you took the time to realize that this is their lives and all that matters is that they are safe and happy, if I were you though I would stay out of your mums way for a while though”

Craig knew that would be easier said than done but he knew he had to try.

“Why don’t you see if you can stay at John Paul’s tonight I’m sure he wouldn’t
and that way you two can catch up”

If only Craig thought to himself but looking at Jack he simply smiled and said “yeah I might just do that”



Sarah was extremely drunk by now she had been drinking double Vodka and orange juice for the past couple of hours and flirting outrageously with three men she had met in the SU bar she couldn’t remember their names she didn’t care to be honest she was just happy that they were competing for her attention. So what if they were getting a bit touchy feely she didn’t mind it just meant that they were interested in her and it boosted her confidence which is what she wanted it wasn’t like she was going to do anything with any of them.

Sarah got up on very shaky legs trying to make her way to the toilets it was only now that she realized just how drunk she was hardly able to support her own weight stumbling as she went. The three men with her rather than trying to help were just laughing as her legs finally gave way and she fell into someone who managed to catch her before she landed on the floor.

“Falling for me all over again Sarah tut tut tut” came the familiar voice.

Sarah tried to stand again but she was way to drunk to do anything now looking at Rhys she just simply said “help me” tears in her eyes she felt so foolish and sick her head was spinning and she couldn’t think strait anymore she just wanted to sleep now that was all she could think of.
Rhys carefully put her arm around his shoulders and said “go on then I can take you home I suppose but you owe me you know that don’t you?”

Sarah looked into his eyes and quietly said “I cant go home……can I come to yours I just need to sleep I know Hannah is away tonight please Rhys?” her head suddenly seemed to be working again but her body certainly wasn’t and Rhys ended up having to carry Sarah most of the way back to his house. He knew better than to ask for an explanation she was way too drunk so he took her and put her into his sister’s bed putting a bottle of water and a packet of tablets on the bedside table and a bucket at the side of the bed for her to throw up into. He could ask her for an explanation when she had sobered up a bit.

I think it is good continue soon xxx

just started reading yesterdaii at about 2:00 but couldnt cmoment
this is relli gud!

*comment

Really enjoying it so far. Looking forward to the next chapter!!

i am on a bit of a roll today dont know how good this is cos it literally took me 20 minutes to write so hope you enjoy

Chapter 4

Craig had left the flat with no real idea of where to go he had walked aimlessly his head too full of thoughts to concentrate on where he was walking and he found himself walking through the park towards the children’s play area. Seeing an empty bench he sat down heavily he didn’t know what he was going to do. Earlier on he had been so determined to prove his love for John Paul believing that his family would accept him and still love him but after the fallout from Jake’s relationship with Nancy he was no longer sure he could handle it. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to be without his family he wasn’t a strong person at all he had always depended so much on other people his family especially Jake, John Paul had always been the strong one and being with Sarah he had drawn strength from the jealousy of the other men around.

Craig knew in his heart he was just a coward Jake had been so strong always his protector when he was a child and the way he was standing up to everyone now being proud to be with Nancy and showing the world that this was the woman he wanted to be with Craig knew he didn’t have it in him. John Paul had been literally dragged out of the closet after the kiss they had shared at the dance and Craig had hidden his true feelings to run back to the safety of his girlfriend and his ‘normal’ life. Crag wasn’t like them he was a coward and he knew it. He hung his head in shame he knew what he wanted who he wanted he just didn’t feel strong enough to go for it.



As soon as Spike had got JP back to his flat he had busied himself making cups of tea and trying to calm John Paul but it was no use he was just too upset and too confused Spike knew that talking to him now would be a waste of time he was in too much of a state to take anything in. pulling John Paul gently to his feet from the sofa he guided him through the flat and into his bedroom.

“Come on mate you have a lie down and try to get some sleep. You look exhausted just have an hour and then we will talk ok?”
John Paul stared at Spike as if he had never seen the man before in his life he hadn’t really noticed being moved he had been too caught up in his own head it came as a shock that he was now lying in Spikes bed.

“You will still be here when I wake up wont you?” he whispered to Spike

“of course I will this is my flat I cant exactly run off now can I?” replied Spike smiling kindly “you just get some sleep I think you may have drank a little too much and you really need to calm down we can talk later ok?”

“Ok” said John Paul as he pulled the duvet up to his chin and snuggled into the pillows he felt safe and protected by the duvet somehow like nothing could hurt him while he lay under it. As soon as he closed his eyes he could feel sleep washing over him he hadn’t realized just how tired he was.

As spike heard the younger mans breathing slow he knew he was drifting off and stood up giving JP a small peck on his forehead he returned to the living room and picked up his phone there was only one persons voice he wanted to hear now and he scrolled to the number and pressed call.

“Hey sexy, how are you?”

“Hey” said Spike “I really needed to talk to you have you got time?”

“For you always, oh and before I forget have I told you recently how much I love you? And how much I am missing you?”

Spike laughed down the phone “you may have mentioned it last night on the phone a few times, but it’s always good to hear. You know I love you too don’t you?”



Craig was watching a young family two kids who couldn’t have been more than two or three years old with their parents all four of them playing and laughing they looked so happy and for a moment Craig felt jealous. He had never really thought that much about being a dad he had always expected that one day Sarah or whichever girl he was with would tell him they were pregnant and he would do the right thing and stay with them he had never really thought about the possibility of not being a father and if things carried on with JP he wouldn’t be. As he watched the family he imagined himself and Sarah and their children playing in the park laughing and joking he imagined the house they would have and the school plays, family holidays, day trips in the holidays and birthday parties and felt an overwhelming sense of dread. If this were to be his life there would be no John Paul he would be stuck with Sarah for the rest of his life and John Paul would be out living his life meeting new people having fun while Craig was at home changing nappies and doing diy.

A football suddenly flew past his head and as he turned his head he saw two young lads probably a bit younger than himself and John Paul maybe fifteen/sixteen they were play fighting and as they ran to retrieve their football keeping a steady stream of banter going as they went. He knew that if he was to be with John Paul it would be difficult he knew that people wouldn’t accept them and that they would lose a number of friends maybe even family in the process but seeing those two young men and the way they interacted so easily made him think of how John Paul always knew how to make him feel better, make him laugh, make him feel safe. John Paul knew him better than he knew himself sometimes (well most of the time if he was being honest) Craig took a deep breath he knew what he had to do and the sooner he started the sooner he could have the man of his dreams back in his arms.

Craig took his phone out of his pocket and dialed directory enquiries he had a lot of making up to do and a lot of people to tell about his relationship and he knew now where he had to start.