Part One

"Starting over is always easy love. It's going back, that's what is difficult. It complicates things and messes everything up."

He'd always believed her. Never questioned such a belief and deep down he had never thought that certainty would leave him. That had been before he had met John Paul, before his life had become so drastically altered and a confusion he had never felt before clouded his mind. Before John Paul he would have agreed with his mother and never thought otherwise but things had changed, more than he had ever imagined, and her words held no meaning to him anymore. She was no longer the mother he had known as a child and he was not the same person as he had once been; somehow he was unable to decide if the latter was a good or bad thing.

The airport was hauntingly empty, desolate of signs of life and he liked it that way, leaving him with the chance to think as he waited on the arrival of his delayed flight. There was nothing left for him where he was and as he sat he knew his very being there contradicted what his mother had so often told him. Sighing as he thought about his family and the mother who he had not spoken to in over 4 months he wondered if maybe like him she could come to see that coming back was easier when there was something to come back to, when there was someone to come back to. He couldn't be certain it would be easy when he returned but his feelings remained the same and for the first time in his life Craig Dean did not feel afraid.
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just a short intro, hope ya liked. I used to write a lot of McDean and with all the news (Craig late night ep & Kieran going at last) I got some inspiration again.

Like it so far, keep going please!

Fantastically Brilliant!

short second part to keep this going. next part will be longer.

Part Two

It felt like he didn’t know himself anymore. The image that reflected back to him was a one of someone so different, so changed since he had last been home. Craig knew the change was a good thing and that although the essence of him remained the same and the caring, cheeky side of him was still there, the part of him that had been so afraid was gone. He had been tormented for so long in Dublin until he had seen the most difficult acceptance of all was being able to accept himself, something he had struggled with for so long.

Pulling the white round neck t-shirt over his head he smiled slightly as he examined himself in the mirror, ensuring he looked good enough to go face the village he had been away from for almost a year. He had left during such painful times, through such a pivotal moment in his life that he knew in order to face life in Hollyoaks again he needed to be the man he was now, not the lost little child he had been who he had hurt John Paul so much. Biting his lip he opened the hair gel and ran the gel through his hair, spiking it up a little and then settling the tub of hair gel back on the sink, stepping back slightly to take in his appearance. His jeans were dark and faded and appeared just a little worn matching the t-shirt well. The t-shirt fitted him suitably, clinging to him slightly and was accompanied by a small brown belt. Cardigans were no longer a part of his wardrobe, an item of clothing to Craig that seemed to linger too much in the past, a thing he did not want to do. His desperation for wanting to move forward and his mother’s unwillingness to speak to him were the reasons he had chose to stay at a hotel while he looked for his own place, too determined not to fall back into old habits, to be the person his family wanted him to be, not who he wanted to be.

Grabbing his black jacket he pulled it on, grabbing his wallet as he did so and sliding it in the back pocket of his jeans, he smiled before inhaling deeply. There was no easy way to start over, to face the residents of the village he had in some way hurt or affected, but it would be easier to do so sooner rather than later.
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more to come. hope you enjoyed.

This is amazing
Looking forward to the next bit

Ooh! Great i like it!! I'm very upset that Craig will no longer be wearing cardigans though! lol!

Oh and to the person above me, your sig has just made me want to watch The Notebook for the 100th time! lol!

thank you for the comments, i will try to do a longer part soon

This fic is brilliant I love McDean stories and can't wait for the reunion although I am not one for killing priesty or anything just removing him to a country far far away . I can't wait to see where you take this, so update soon, please. Carly x

This is fantastic, i really love this fic. Hopefully more soon??!!

Lol! Hollyoaks_Nutter, i agree!

Why isn't there more??
I got all excited that you'd started something new and now theres no more

[Don't you just love how I know the little emoticon thingys still, after two years XD]

xxx

ROCKIT!!
Woahh. You like totally disappeared off the face of the hollyoaks forums. Where've you been?

And yeah, where has this fic disappeared off to?