Hey! okay here's my attempt. It's really, realy long, lol. I've choosen JP and Craig (there's a surprise). My thinking behind this was writing an alternative to the episode Craig told John Paul he loved him (i think it was he met Sarah's modelling friends and he followed JP home). So here we go! 
Craig Dean pulled up into the car park that he had never visited before, even though it was on the other side of Chester. All the way through his journey to get here he wondered what the hell had possessed him to get into the car; he really didn’t want to be coming along here and he certainly didn’t want to be picking him up, but he had no choice, he’d been forced into doing it by Sarah.
‘Just got a text off John Paul,’ she had said as Craig re-entered her room to watch her pack her bags. She was off on a modeling shoot in Bristol for the week and Craig had little else to do, so had agreed to borrow his step father’s car to take her to the station for her train. This fixed both of their solutions for their plans that Sunday night; Craig was bored and there was no bus service for Sarah to use to make her way to catch her train.
‘Oh right,’ he answered, trying to sound as casual as he could; whenever Sarah mentioned his best friend’s name it seemed as if it pushed some inner paranoia button within him.
‘Yeah,’ she nodded as she folded the pair of jeans that was to go into her suitcase, ‘He was just writing to say good luck with the shoot and mentioned he was stuck on the other side of Chester, apparently he’s been playing footie with some of his mates from his old school.’
‘Oh,’ Craig’s heart sank as he said this; sometimes he forgot that John Paul had other mates that were lads; he always thought that his little universe revolved around him boy-wise.
He looked up to his girlfriend now with his face contorted with confusion, ‘Why doesn’t he just get a taxi home or something?’
‘I don’t know do I?’ Sarah sighed, ‘I only got one text from him, it’s not as if we’ve discussed the ins and outs of his options home! He’s probably not got enough money!’
Craig was quite startled from his girlfriend’s little outburst and the surprise showed on his face.
‘Sorry,’ she sighed as she joined him on the side of the bed, ‘I’m just a bit stressed, you know, this is a pretty big job I’m going on and I don’t want to mess it up.’
‘You won’t mess it up,’ Craig reassured her softly as he swept a strand of hair away from her face, ‘How could you, you’re stunning! Your gonna walk this, I can tell.’
His sentiments caused his girlfriend to coo in appreciation as his hands cupped her face and they met in a small, tender kiss.
‘Aw poor John Paul,’ Sarah said as she pulled away her boyfriend, causing the paranoia to return in his mind; way was she thinking this as they kissed, did she know something?
‘W…what do you mean?’ Craig flustered, trying to keep his panic in check.
‘Well he’s stuck on some footie pitch on his own and we’ve got each other,’ she said shaking her head at the thought.
‘I know!’ she exclaimed suddenly, a brain wave only seconds coming to her, ‘You’re not doing anything else tonight, are you?’
Craig nodded, he knew where she was going with this, yet he still stupidly nodded.
‘And Jack said he didn’t need the car tonight?’
He nodded again, despite himself.
‘Well…!’ she said, hoping he would come to the same conclusion.
‘Well what?’ he asked, praying that she wasn’t suggesting what he thought she was going to suggest.
‘Well why don’t you go and pick him up after you’ve dropped me off! Means you’ll get him just before it gets dark, we don’t want him stranded in the dark, anything could happen to him.’
He opened his mouth to protest but cut himself short when he realised how suspicious this would seem. Not that any of his protests would have been noticed, Sarah was already set on the idea.
‘Just phone him and tell him you’ll be half an hour, oh and to find out how to get to him!’ she instructed as she jumped to her feet from the bed to continue packing.
‘I can’t!’ he blurted out, causing her to turn around and flash him a funny look.
‘I’ve left my mobile back at home,’ it was a weak excuse, but it was the truth.
‘Just use mine then,’ Sarah offered, throwing the device towards him. He inwardly cursed, he should have known he wouldn’t get out of it that easy.
So he did it, he phoned John Paul. The guy he hadn’t spoke to since their last meeting outside the pub; the guy he had quietly walked out on after having sex with him…for the second time; the guy who he tried his best for the last two weeks to avoid after being told to get out of his life; the guy who wouldn’t escape from his thoughts, leaving avoidance of him near impossible.
He spoke to him in the most civilized manner he could muster; he was grateful for Sarah’s presence in the room as it meant he could avoid a certain topic of conversation he really didn’t want to address.
Craig could tell John Paul sounded surprised by his offer and he could also tell that he was a little reluctant to take him up in it. What was even more obvious was the fact that he had no other alternatives, because in the end, he managed to agree to the help, although Craig could tell from his voice that he rather wished there was an alternative.
So now Craig sat in his stepfather’s car, waiting in a vacant car park at the side of some football pitch he had never been to before in his life. He was beginning to feel uncomfortable, but this wasn’t solely down to the fact he was in a part of the city that he was unfamiliar with, it had a lot more to do with the young man who he could see in the distance walking towards him, who he was very familiar with, too familiar.
He watched as John Paul crossed the tarmac of the car park; still dressed in his football gear which consisted of shorts, a t-shirt and a pair of knee high socks. He could see the expression on his face, he looked miserable, just as miserable as the sky above him was looking; Craig could tell there was a storm on the way.
Before he knew it, the passenger’s door was opened and the moment of awkwardness was to begin. John Paul slid into the seat next to him and done so without a word. Once he was positioned correctly in the seat he turned and faced Craig and gave a very forced and an even more so weak smile. The dark haired boy mirrored the awkward expression, but they exchanged their looks without ever making eye contact.
‘Alright?’ Craig half-heartedly greeted him as he turned his key in the ignition; he just wanted to get home as quick as he could with as little hassle, but he couldn’t bare the silence.
‘Yeah, you know…’ was the reply from the blond haired boy who was covered in mud from a night’s worth of football; his response lack just as much of enthusiasm as Craig initial question had.
Craig thought about this, he didn’t know, he hadn’t spoken to his apparent best friend for two weeks.
‘Good night, was it?’ he quizzed as he reversed the car out of its position in the car park; football was a safe topic of conversation.
‘Yeah,’ John Paul nodded as he looked out of the passenger’s window, willing himself not to look at the boy who sat in the driver’s seat.
‘With old mates were you?’ he quizzed further, relaying the information Sarah had given him earlier in the night.
‘Yeah,’ John Paul nodded once again; sticking to his short responses.
‘So what did you get up to?’ Craig asked, kicking himself for the stupidity of the question, ‘Just play football?’
Without realising it, Craig provoked a rise in temper from his friend with his enquires.
‘No,’ John Paul curtly replied, ‘We all stripped off and had group sex in the middle of the field. Oh no…hang on, don’t get jealous, you’re the only one of my mates that I do that with.’
Craig fought with himself on hearing this; he was so tempted to shout back at the blue-eyed, ill tempered boy who sat next to him, but instead he chose to ignore the comment, he had become so good at ignoring things recently. He kept his gaze out of the front window, taking in his surroundings as he drove; both the oncoming darkness and the small speckles of rain which were attacking his windscreen making it difficult to take them in properly.
‘You know, you don’t have to be so touché with me,’ he eventually said, hoping his statement would diffuse the tension between him and John Paul, rather than mount it.
‘Ha,’ John Paul laughed out sardonically as he shook his head, ‘Great choice of words there Craig, do I even need to make a dig about how touchy you’ve been with me on more than one occasion.’
Craig could feel his temper begin to slowly rise, but he was adamant that he wouldn’t stoop as low as the jibes being thrown at him.
‘Oh sorry,’ the blond haired boy said sarcastically, ‘Shouldn’t I be bringing this up?’
‘Well is there any need?’ Craig said quietly under his breathe, but it wasn’t said quietly enough to be ignored by his friend.
‘Any need!’ John Paul scoffed, ‘Any need! Let’s see, the last time we spoke, you told me how you had every right to use me. Next time you came knocking, you said and then you had the nerve to try and push me by coming round barely hours after you said that! You thought you had me so easily! Do you know how crap that made me feel, how pathetic?’
‘I…I’m sorry,’ was all Craig could reply with; having what he had done put like that completely shocked him, he had gone over the scenario in his head a million times, but having it put across by the recipient of his behavior made him feel even more shameful.
He couldn’t put up with this any more, he couldn’t hold a conversation with John Paul when he was spouting stuff at him that made him feel like scum, however truthful that result actually was. Knowing that he also couldn’t bare an awkward silence, he reached over to the stereo in the middle of the dash board and switched it on.
He was thankful for the music, it created a barrier between him and John Paul; it seemed to dampen his friend’s aggression. They continued to drive along a country road for a couple minutes and in the space of this time, the song on the radio had switched song, the sky outside had progressively grown to pitch black and the drizzling rain had morphed into a complete down pour.
As he drove, he could see John Paul shift in his seat slightly, he was still clearly uncomfortable by the company he had found himself in. Craig tried to ignore the movement, but the more restless John Paul got, the more his movement was being registered in the other boy’s peripheral view. He could see his thighs moving, twitching in discomfort. Those strong, muscled thighs….he remembered having them wrapped around him the last time they….
No. He jerked up, trying to keep his attention back on the road in front of him, but this proved more difficult than he thought. Now John Paul was verbalizing his discomfort in the passengers seat. Now he was groaning and making noises that even the radio wouldn’t drown out. Hearing him make such noises brought Craig back onto the track he was trying to steer off of; those heady moans of the afternoon they….
He leaned over once again towards the dashboard as he drove, this time opting to put on the air conditioning in the hope it would cool him down in his flustered state.
‘Why’ve you put that on,’ John Paul moaned, ‘It’s freezing!’
Craig momentarily turned to face his friend as he spoke, but taking his eyes off the road was a bigger mistake than he could have guessed; although it wasn’t the danger of wandering off the road that concerned him, it was the danger of looking at John Paul’s lips as he spoke that did, that allowed his thoughts to wander much further into the thoughts he was trying to steer clear of.
Those lips…those full, soft lips…what he had done to them in the past, what he wanted to do to them now….
He needed to stop thinking like this he scalded himself. No good would come from those kinds of thoughts. Well, actually, thinking about it wasn’t as bad as acting it out, at least nobody could tell what he was thinking.
Well, that’s what he thought and it wasn’t John Paul that had suddenly picked up a telepathic skill in the short time they hadn’t been speaking. Nope, it seemed like whoever was singing on the radio had picked up that skill. Craig had never heard the song before, he hadn’t recognized it when it came on, but the words of the chorus were enough to raise a panic from him. How the hell did she know?
‘I just want your kiss boy!’ came from the stereo, reciting the exact thoughts Craig thought he held private to himself, obviously not. He didn’t know what to do, especially since the songstress was annoyingly repeating the same line over and over again.
In a complete flustered state, Craig reached over a swiftly switched off the stereo.
‘Oi!’ John Paul called out on realising the sudden cut of music, ‘I was listening to that!’
‘Yeah…well…I hate that song,’ Craig argued back, lying to cover the real reasons for his need for silence.
‘Well I like it!’ John Paul moodily declared as he pushed for the radio to come back on.
‘I just want…!’ was heard before Craig just as quickly turned it off.
‘Come on Craig, stop being a prat!’ John Paul pleaded as his hand reached for the radio again.
‘I don’t want it on!’ Craig exclaimed.
‘Why? What harm is it causing?’ the other boy argued back.
More than you blooming understand, Craig thought, but he couldn’t use that to explain his unreasonable behavior.
‘I just want if off!’
‘Well I just want it on!’ John Paul declared as he reached over and successfully turned the radio on.
‘This paranoia is distressing,
But I spend most of my night guessing,
Are we not, are we together,
Will this make our lives much better?’
That was it, Craig had had enough. His anger got the better of him and he brought the car to a screeching halt as he slammed his feet down onto the peddles, startling John Paul as he done so.
‘I said I wanted it bloody off!’ he raged as he punched the radio violently.
The blond haired boy stared at him in complete shock; he’d never expected that from his friend, it was so…so extreme.
‘Okay, okay,’ he said calmly, ‘Jeez calm down!’
Craig slowly turned his head to face the boy who had provoked him to lose his temper and laughed incredulously at his suggestion.
‘Calm down? Are you serious?’ he asked him coldly.
‘Yeah, it was…a bit extreme,’ John Paul replied, not being intimidated by his friend’s tone.
‘No wonder John Paul! You’re winding me up! You’re always bloody winding me up!’ he seethed as his hands now clung onto the steering wheel in frustration.
‘No Craig,’ John Paul calmly replied, ‘You let me wind you up. The way you are with me and the fact I don’t come running after you, that’s what winds you up; you don’t get your own way!’
‘My own way! Do you think anything would have happened between us if I got my own way! I don’t think so!’
‘Oh don’t start this! I’ve never made you do anything you didn’t already want to do! You’re the one that comes to me, not the other way around!’ John Paul rose in anger.
Craig went to argue back; they’d been here quite a few times before and this was fast becoming a well known script but something in his head told him to hold his tongue. To just shut up and drive; he knew his silence would wind his friend up more anyway.
He sighed heavily and then began to turn the key in the ignition; he just wanted to get home. But it seemed home was a long way off yet, especially since their mode of transport had decided that it too wanted to be stubborn and refused to start.
‘No, no, no!’ the dark haired boy called out in panic as he continued to twist the key in the ignition and the car continued in it’s standstill. John Paul looked on in concern. Eventually gave up, giving the steering wheel a slam with his fists and curse as he done so.
‘Tell me it’s not…’ John Paul began but his question was cut off when he received the answer from his friend’s face.
‘Great!’ he huffed.
‘Yeah, well…’ Craig sighed, ‘I’m not too thrilled about being stuck here either.’
‘Charming.’
‘Well do you? I could have been at home watching T.V if it wasn’t for you! No but instead of watching bloody Lost, watching as people lie on a sunny tropic island, I’m stuck here, in the joy that is North West, freezing my ass off with you! You'd never see anyone off lost get stuck in this bloody weather!'
‘Since when did anyone off Lost have a car?!’ John Paul retorted, ‘And you know what, you haven’t changed a bit, do you know that? I thought you’d at least be a little bit different with me after two weeks, but no, low and behold, Craig Dean’s still treating me like scum! Well I tell you what, I’m still not putting up with it!’
‘Is this the bit where you scream at me to get lost, to leave you alone?’ Craig bitterly bit back, ‘Because as far as I can see there’s nowhere to go! We’re not in your house this time John Paul, so you can’t tell me to leave you!’
The boys locked into a gaze, it was a cold and stubborn exchange of eye contact, but when John Paul looked away first it wasn’t out of intimidation, it was out of determination to make his words ring true.
‘Nope!’ he called out angrily as he unbuckled his belt, ‘This time, I’m leaving!’
And with that the McQueen boy opened the car door and made his way out into the stormy night. Although the conditions to him didn’t fair much worse than the one he had just left inside the car.
Craig didn’t know what to do, it was if he was momentarily frozen to his seat, but as the boy he had set out to rescue from being stranded wandered off into the darkness, something struck him and sprung into action.
‘John Paul wait!’ he called through the rain once he had risen to his feet and found himself to immersed by the rainfall.
John Paul had been a good few metres away from the car when he heard the call; he knew he wouldn’t need to walk far before Craig caved and realised what an idiot he was being. He turned around, and waited for those words; for Craig to beg for him to come back.
‘Please!’ he called out though the pelting rain that was relentless in it’s downpour, ‘I need you…I need you…the car’s in the middle of the road. I can’t push it to the side on my own!’
John Paul could feel his entire body clench on hearing his friend’s pleas; was that all he was good for, was that all he wanted from him, to move the bloody car! He almost turned back around, he almost left his friend stranded with the car, but something stopped him from doing so. Craig had come to rescue him when he was stranded, despite all that had gone on between them; John Paul had to do the same, even though he felt like punching the boy in the face.
He didn’t answer, instead he walked towards the car and stopped at the rear.
‘Okay,’ Craig approached him from the driver’s side of the car, finding the need to raise his voice so he could be heard, ‘So you push and I’ll steer the car into the side the road.’
‘Typical!’ John Paul exclaimed on hearing his instructions, ‘I do all the hard work and you sit on your ass!’
‘Well we need someone to steer the damn thing!’ Craig argued back before lowering his voice to begin with explanation of roles, he’d never admit to this normally, ‘And you’re stronger than me.’
A victorious smile crept over the other boy’s face, one that you usually be found whenever they debated who was the better footie player, or the better at the Playstation, or in this case, the stronger of the two; he’d definitely be reminding his friend of this confession at a later date, any chance to rub it in. But then something struck him, he may have been the stronger of the two, but he certainly wasn’t the more approapriately dressed for the weather; he was still in his football kit and was wearing much less lothes than his friend.
‘Yeah, but I’m going to catch hyperthermia out here dressed like this!’ John Paul pointed out.
‘No you won’t,’ Craig tried to reason, ‘Plus that didn’t seem to stop you before when you were set on walking home.’
‘Well the risk seemed a lot more attractive option than staying here with you!’
God, he could argue until he was blue in the face, Craig thought and this was exactly why he chose not to respond. He knew if he indulged a McQueen with a slagging match, they’d be here forever and then they would turn blue in the face, and in the hands and feet, what with this weather.
‘Come on John Paul,’ he pleaded softly, ‘The quicker we get the car to side of the road, the quicker we can phone for help and get home. Please do this, for yourself, if not for me.’
John Paul could feel his defences come down; the boy had a point.
‘Alright,’ he nodded and the pair set to work.
Within time, the boys had managed to move the car to safety and now they could seek refuge back in the vehicle from the rain; not that that would make much of a difference, they were soaked through anyway. Part one of their plan had been completed and now part two could begin. John Paul reached into his sports bag and retrieved his mobile after being informed that he was the only one of the two to have one. Rescue was now in their sights, but it seemed reception wasn’t.
‘Oh crap,’ the blond haired one cursed on realising this, ‘I can’t make any calls, there’s no signal here.’
‘Please tell me you’re joking,’ the other boy sighed as he threaded his fingers through his hair in frustration.
‘Fraid not,’ John Paul flashed Craig his screen to prove his point, ‘I’ll give it a go, but you know how crap my phone is anyway.’
True to his word, John Paul’s mobile couldn’t find a signal and the boys were left without anyway of reaching help. A decision was reached that they would have to take matters into their own hands and as soon as the rain eased off, which was getting heavier and heavier as time passed, they both would venture out of the car and look for some way of getting the car back on the road; whether it be someone who could fix the car or finding a phone to find someone who could help them.
That had been half an hour ago.
And they were still sitting in their wet clothes.
Not much had been said between the pair over the last thirty minutes; not that John Paul would have been capable of speaking, his body seemed to shiver violently as he sat in his rain drenched clothes so much so that the chittering of his jaw made it near impossible to speak; it just hurt too much to talk.
The noises coming from his friend also bothered Craig, he sounded in pain. He’d listened too long, he clearly wasn’t heating up.
‘You okay?’ Craig asked him, receiving an icy stare from his friend for his stupid question.
‘Here,’ Craig ignored the less than friendly reply from his best friend as he reached into the back of his car for the jacket he had discarded earlier before meeting John Paul.
‘Put this around you,’ he turned and offered him.
‘You had that all this time?’ John Paul quizzed him.
‘I forgot about it, now do you want it or not?’
The blue-eyed boy gave an apologetic smile as he accepted the offered coat; he knew he needed to be less snappy with his friend, he knew that none of this was Craig’s fault but there was just so much that had gone on between them that made it hard to be ‘friendly’ towards him; they weren’t friends anymore, not since that fateful afternoon in John Paul’s kitchen. There was so much more that had passed between them, so much more that was harder to forget and forgive.
‘Thanks,’ he smiled shyly as he wrapped the coat around him.
‘Well it’s either that or have a frozen corpse next to be for company,’ Craig ventured with a smile, hoping to appeal to the better side of his friend.
‘The corpse would probably be a lot nicer to you,’ John Paul replied and mirrored the awkward smile of Craig; his mood was slowly thawing now.
‘I dunno,’ Craig shrugged, ‘You’re being pretty nice to me now.’
He paused for a second, feeling the ground between them was a lot safer to walk on with just one pleasant exchange.
‘I know that it’s mostly down to my own fault, but I hate things being like this between us, I really do. We used to have such a laugh and then…’ his words trailed off before he could recall what had made their friendship morph into something entirely different.
‘I understand,’ John Paul said kindly; he did, he missed Craig, but that still didn’t erase all the hurt from his memory.
‘I just…I wish…’ he stopped dead again, but this time it wasn’t just the awkwardness of his confession that was making him do so. John Paul was back to making those noises, he still seemed frozen and Craig had run out of ideas of how to help him; well, all but one.
He reached his hand over to the arm of his frost-bitten best friend and began to rub his arm, hoping to cause some heat for the boy who was finding it so hard to warm up in his soaked through shorts and t-shirt.
‘God John Paul, I think you’re actually going to turn blue,’ Craig mused as he kept rubbing his arm to generate heat for the blond haired boy.
‘Or I’ll turn into an ice cube like they do in the cartoons,’ John Paul suggested with a chuckle.
‘Probably! We need to get you warm, you’ll be no use if you’re encased in a giant cube of ice. Who’s gonna push the car about for me if that happens?’
Again, John Paul chuckled at Craig’s joking. It felt good to laugh with him, as did the heat that he was causing on his arm.
‘Just keep keeping me warm,’ John Paul ordered him, ‘I think this is working.’
It was, the contact wasn’t only causing fantastic heat through the friction that was created between Craig’s hand and his arm, but it was also working in other ways.
‘Turn around and face me more and I can get your other arm too,’ Craig was taking his role in heating his friend up seriously now, he wanted to do a more efficient job; that was all, no ulterior motive existed….
John Paul did as he was told and allowed himself to be rubbed on both sides. The contact with Craig felt good, he wasn’t used to be looked after by him.
‘Body heat,’ Craig said, his thoughts now running a muck in his head as his hands ran over the other boys arms; he couldn’t really form proper sentences, ‘Works magic, eh?’
‘Yeah,’ John Paul nodded as other ways to create this flashed in his mind, ‘Can’t beat it.’
‘How…how are you’re legs…?’ Craig found he had to swallow hard as his thoughts strayed, ‘I mean, are they warm, or do they need warmed up.’
‘Definitely need warmed up too…’ the other boy replied with his voice heavy with desire.
‘Well maybe I could help there too,’ Craig offered as he moved his hands lower and began to rub his friend’s thighs.
‘Hmm…yeah…’ John Paul moaned as Craig got to work with his ‘help’.
‘How’s that?’
‘Yeah…good,’ he groaned, ‘Good.’
‘Are your arms still cold?’ Craig whispered.
‘J…just a bit,’ came the reluctant answer, he wasn’t sure if he wanted the attention that was being given to his thighs to stop.
‘I have an idea,’ the other boy said before he cautiously began to move from his seat, maneuvering around the impractical positions of the steering wheel and gear stick as he done so.
John Paul watched as Craig shifted his position, moving from the driver’s seat to his eventual resting place on his lap.
‘Body heat,’ was all he offered in explanation as he began to rub his friend’s arms again.
‘Body…heat…’ John Paul echoed as he sat mesmerized by the brown eyed boy who sat on his lap, watching as he lowered his head and his lips closer to his own.
‘Body heat,’ Craig repeated just before their lips came together.
Their kiss was slow and gentle, far more loving than the exchange of words they had had between them over the last hour; actions definitely spoke louder than words. Craig groaned softly as John Paul’s tongue swirled in his hot mouth; he knew he could melt any coldness he had in his heart towards him. Or at least, he thought he could.
‘No,’ John Paul abruptly pulled his head away.
‘No, please get off me,’ he continued as he shoved Craig away from him, causing his friend hurt his elbow and then knee on the gear stick and steering wheel as he scrambled back into his original position in the driver’s seat.
‘Sorry,’ was all he had managed to say, he was too dazed; it seemed as if someone had poured a bucket of ice cold water on him just as the passion between him and John Paul had been heating up.
He tried to bring his thoughts back on track, but something distracted him; the noise of the passengers door being opened; John Paul had left the car.
‘No, wait!’ he called out to his departing friend, but his panic was short lived as John Paul simply walked two feet and re-entered the car, albeit now choosing to sit in the back of the vehicle.
‘W…what are you doing?’ he asked as John Paul closed the door behind him, his clothes now drenched once again. Craig was becoming confused by John Paul’s behavior.
‘What are we doing,’ he replied, ‘That’s what you should be asking. It’s what I’ve been asking myself ever since all of this happened.’
‘What…why…don’t you want this?’ a flustered Craig asked him desperately.
‘What! Don’t I want this twisted little…whatever this is, with you!? No! Believe it or not, I don’t like lying to my friend! And as hard as this might be to believe, I don’t like all this…sex for sex’s sake with you! Being you’re sordid little sex partner! Being used by you!’
‘Oh and you don’t get any joy out of any of this because as far as I recall, you were the one who told me at their girlfriend’s party that you loved me! And don’t you take the moral high ground with me, you’re still with Spike!’
‘Yeah, well I’m going to be for a very long time, because he doesn’t do this, he doesn’t pick me up and throw me away once he’s done with me, not like you do!’ John Paul raged, leaving Craig in a stunned silence.
‘Do…do you really think that?’ Craig asked in a much calmer tone and a pained expression on his face.
‘Yeah,’ the blond haired boy nodded firmly.
Craig couldn’t believe it, he thought John Paul knew. He thought he had made it perfectly clear that day he had walked out of his exam to tell him how he felt. He thought he knew that time he went round to his house after they had had the argument in the flat. He thought….
But then it struck him, how could he know how much Craig felt about him? When he looked back, he knew he hadn’t really shown it well. Of course he hadn’t, his past behaviour didn’t really reveal anything about his true feelings for his closest friend. I mean, since when did calling the boy you love ‘scum’ and other various vile names, telling him all you want from him is sex, beating him to a pump to prove something that wasn’t true and becoming one of the people you said you’d protect him from say anything remotely close to what he felt for him. Put simply, it didn’t. Why he felt the need to keep this from John Paul, especially when he’d never felt this way so strongly about someone before? He wasn’t sure, maybe it was because John Paul was his mate, his bloke-y mate? Before any of this happened they never really expressed this sort of thing before. They never gushed about how much they loved other people, so why say it to each other? Craig thought this through for a second, that was utter nonsense; there were some pretty obvious reasons why they never expressed these type of feelings before, plenty but there was no reason to now. He had to tell, to verbalise exactly what he could interpret was going on inside him. A lot of people deserved to hear this, if not Sarah, then definitely the boy he felt it towards.
‘John Paul,’ he began, feeling a nervousness over come him, ‘W…what we have…’ he really was crap at expressing his feelings, ‘…what I…with you.’
‘Spit it out,’ the other boy said coldly.
Craig let out a big sigh and then tried again; he focused on John Paul’s eyes, the cool blue orbs that seemed to show all the anger he felt in them.
‘This isn’t just about sex,’ he managed to blurt out, ‘This isn’t about…some…’
God, he was never going to be able to do this.
‘John Paul,’ he sighed, ‘I…God, I…I love you.’
He watched as the anger drained from his friend’s face on hearing this.
‘W…what?’ the dumbfounded McQueen boy asked.
‘I love you,’ Craig repeated.
God, he thought, he felt so…so good saying it.
‘I love you and I don’t think you know that,’ he continued, before adding quickly, ‘Not that I’ve shown you it properly or ever said it before but I do. I really, really do. I meant when I said I couldn’t stop thinking about you, you’re always on my mind, which annoys me sometimes, especially when I need to focus on other things…’
John Paul sat and stared at his friend; all of his fantasies were coming true, all those times he had wished he could have the person he really loved, love him back….well, it was happening. Now. He just couldn’t believe it. It just seemed…seemed too good to be true, as if a bubble was about to burst. I did, and quickly too as he remembered something very important.
‘W…what about Sarah?’
Whatever high Craig was on for finally vocalizing his feelings was now deflated; he was brought slamming back to reality.
‘I…can we please…not talk about her,’ he said quietly, ‘I know she’s so involved in all of this, but please….’
‘Pretend she’s not?’ John Paul interrupted, ‘because I can’t.’
‘I know,’ he nodded.
‘Craig, if you…’ John Paul still couldn’t believe it, it was all he ever wanted, ‘if you love me, then you can’t keep doing this. You need to tell her.’
Craig just stared at him from the front of the car.
‘And you need to do it soon,’ he added, and still received no reply.
John Paul studied his face, he seemed to be looking regretful about something. But what?
‘You have no intention to, do you?’ his anger began to rise, ‘You want to have us both!’
‘It’s not that simple,’ Craig whispered shamefully.
‘No! This, love shouldn’t be this complicated! Craig you need to choose one of us! For me, for you, for Sarah!’
‘I love you, isn’t that enough!? Don’t you love me?’ Craig’s voice was now raised, but painfully so.
‘Yes,’ John Paul now spoke calmly; it pained him to have his feelings questioned like this, ‘You know I do.’
‘Then please, just please give me some time with all this. It’s all new to me, it’s hard, it’s…you know exactly how hard this is. You weren’t ready at the time…when…people found out about you. Please give me the chance you never had, I need that chance.’
‘I understand.’ He really, really did. If John Paul could do anything differently; it would be the way he came out. There was far too much unnecessary heartache involved with that, including his own.
Craig raised his eyes to find the sincerity in his friend’s face.
‘So can…can I come sit with you in the back?’ he asked cautiously, ‘All I want to do is let you know how I feel about you, that’s all I’m asking.’
He knew he shouldn’t, he knew that it would only complicate things further, but he also knew that he craved the dark haired boy more than he had craved anything in the whole world.
‘Yeah,’ he nodded, ‘You can do that.’
And with that, Craig slid his way into the back of the car and slid into the arms of the person he loved; seeking refuge in his arms as the storm outside continued its unrelenting downpour. They knew they’d need to weather much stormier times in their future, especially if that future was to be together.
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Author of 'The Last Journey' and it's sequel 'Travelling Back'. And the now in production, 'Don't Look Back', a JP fic!
lol 
