I just wanted to say that I think Jan is so brave, and I think that it's so sad that many of the people around her can't see past their fear of what they don't yet know. It's sad that she has had to leave the rest of her life behind and face a change so painful and extensive without her friends and family, and I think it's a testament to the strength which has seen her through life up to now that she has managed to transform herself so totally and convincingly into a woman on her own. I hope that she can now enjoy relaxing into her new life and continue to know that there are many people who happen to think that what she is doing is inspirational and important. On yersel Hen!
Being a teen transsexual I found her story truly admirable I have came out to my parents and started to live full time over 6 months ago I can definitely relate to the struggles she faces and to see Jan be so strong has given me the push I needed. I just want to say to Jan that your a brave and beautiful lady and your inspirational and definitely a person I look up to. I still face many struggles ahead but you have gave me enough encouragement and strength to just live a happy and content life as the girl I am. I haven't got a very supportive family but if you ever want a daughter I would gladly like you to adopt me I am very scared I may face homelessness soon Lots of Love
I was moved to tears by jan's story. what a lovely, brave woman she is. I'm sorry she has "lost" family and friends through their ignorance, and I am also sorry she was forced morally(due to tabloid intrusion) and financially, to go public with her story. I also felt a lot of sympathy for the ex wife, she must have been through hell too. I hope everyone's wounds physical, mental and emotional heal with time, and that jan can rebuild her life. I for one would be proud to know her.
As a 35 year old woman, i've never wanted to be anything else, and have to admit i found it strange. But after watching the show i was so moved and heartsore for the torment that Jan went through (and what so many others must be going through) that i had to come on and leave a message. I've said before that as a beauty therapist i know how unhappy most women are with their bodies and there are a million things they'd like to change ... just in Jan's case there were a few more changes than usual. Not the end of the world! I have worked on trans-gender clients before and have never been offended, disgusted or otherwise put off. They're amazing women. Much stronger than myself. I want to applaud Jen (and Jenny1991) for doing what they need to do to be happy ) I think you're fantastic! You moved me, and i suspect many others too. Congratulations
Like everyone else, I was moved to post a message about Jan. A tv documentary has never made me do this before. Jan - I think you are so brave and wish you well in everything that happens in the future. I desperately hope that your parents come round and realise that (as in your words) you are NOT a bad person. I hope that they watched the documentary last night and it provokes them to get back in touch. In my life, I haven't really come into contact with trans-gender people before. However the documentary has given me a real insight, and the hope that when I do meet them, I will not act with prejudice or inappropriately. I should give them the understanding and respect that they deserve. It has obviously been a very difficult and painful journey. Jan - good luck with the future. All the best.
Hi Jan I hope you are reading all these lovely messages, and that you have had a bit more support since the programme was made. You come across as an eloquent, kind and gentle person. XX Jane
Never been in a forum before,but last nights moving story of Jan made me feel I had to express my support for this brave person.To fight as a soldier was brave, but to have to face the rejection and bigotry of former friends, colleagues and worst of all parents is even braver.Little was mentioned of the physical pain the surgery must've caused either.A truely brave lady.
As the mother of a male-female transexual I was horrified and moved to tears by the fact that Jans parents have disowned her.I cannot comprehend this!When my daughter told me about her transgender issues I (as a mother) just wanted to help and do whatever it took to help her move forward with her life and to find some happiness and selfworth after a lifetime of torment.Big hug for Jan from me!
I'd just like to echo all the positive comments made in the previous posts. My wife and I were riveted by the moving, brave struggle that Jan went through. Such an articulate, honest and truly impressive lady. As Aberdeen residents we were shocked and saddened to hear of some of the ignorant responses she received. Jan - I hope you are reading these comments. Never mind warzones, this is real bravery. - Iain R, Aberdeen, UK
I do presentations on trans issues and while researching my original ideas I came across a statement on the internet that said something like:
"to be transsexual and survive is one of the most traumatic experiences a person can have.
It causes incredible isolation coupled with justfiable fears or rejecton and ridicule.
The gender identity clinics generally only monitor and control access to treatment.
it's usually assumed that SOMEONE provides back up."
The reality, as you can see is different - apart from that which is provided by the trans community itself.
To Jan and all who travel the same path: you are far from alone. If you need to talk there are a number of organisations that can help.
Inner Enigma is a charity based in Manchester that supports transsexual and Intersexed individuals and those who are seriously questioning their gender identity.
More than 300 individuals have found support through the group.
Support includes drop in sessions on 3rd Tuesday of each month as well as face to face counselling.
I too have never posted a message like this but felt compelled after watching Jan's story. I am a woman and have only ever wanted to be a woman but that doesn't stop me from considering that, when the miracle of conception happens, sometimes all the bits and pieces that make a human don't always fit together as we would expect. I can fully appreciate and accept that Jan was born with the look of a male but inside she felt like a female. Just because I have never felt like this it doesn't mean it can't be true and real. Jan, I wish you happiness and health in the beginning of you new life and I believe you should fight the army for your right to be recognised and accepted as an employee in whatever field you desire. Good luck and best wishes!
I found this programme to be a good portrayal of some issues faced by many transsexual people. Speaking as a 35 yo transwoman, i can honestly say that many parts of my journey (fortunatley) don't mirror Jan's. Maybe i am incredibly lucky in the fact that my parents have't deserted me, nor have my children (who are 10 & 6) who love the fact that i am still around and still love them. Maybe i am lucky in having a job, all though i lost my first career as a result of petty transphobia that is rife in UK manufacturing (where i was a senior operatrions manager for a UK exporter). I have a wonderful boss, and a very very supportive employer (who is one of the biggest companies in it's field). Maybe i am lucky that i have friends, friends who have stood by me since i transitioned, friends that only know me as Indigo.
Maybe i am just lucky? I have been able to do so much more since i transitioned, so many more doors have opened for me.
I have been walking the NHS process now for 3 and 1/2 years, and am still waiting for my surgery, but in the that time, i have made a life for myself, i have had to sacrifice things, and because of my employment problems, i have had to sacrifice my standard of living, but i am so much happier. I actually have a life now. Even my dad tells me how much happier i am now i am in my true skin.
I identified with Jan, but have to be honest and say that there is far more to life during transition (and after) than was portrayed in the documentary.
So, c'mon CH4, how about a story of transition that isn't all gloom and loneliness?
Just wanted to say that I thought this was a really moving documentary. After 42 years of having to pretend to be something she wasn't, Jan deserves some comfort and love; not universal rejection by people who should be rocks in her life.
I'm glad that Jan feels proud of her abiility to "see it through" and I truly hope that she has a more fulfilled lfe as a woman and achieves all the added extras that go with a fulfilled life. Hang on in there, Jan!
After watching last nights moving documentary.i just had wirte to say.I am male to female Trensexual.and i have lost all of my family and so called friends except my mum she has always been there for me,and work was also very bad at times.but now i have some very nice friends and in time it do's get better.and to jan i think you a good looking woman.I hope you do find a good life like i have done.Good luck to to
i was definitely ignorant of all the difficulties that someone like Jan can go through. definitely an eye opener. Wish i could write directly to her and tell her that it would be an honour to meet someone like her. i wish her all the strengh in the world to face all that is to come in the future. Good luck!
I am also the mother of a male to female transsexual and I was horrified and really saddened of the way Jan's parents, particularly her mother, has disowned her. Your children are your life regardless, and you love them unconditionally. I was there through every stage of my daughters transformation. She really needed love and support. I cried as I watched Jan having only a film crew there when she clearly wanted her mum. Peoples perception of transsexuals are changing now. I can see the difference with my daughter. She too was a social outcast but now is being more accepted....not totally by some narrow minded people, but it is definitely a lot better. She is a beautiful young woman who thank God was blessed with a cute girly face and didn't have to go through the facial surgery that Jan did. Jan if you're reading this, I wish you all the best for the future. I hope your parents come to their senses and if they don't I hope you find love and support in others. Go for it girl, there's nothing stopping you now. You are a beautiful person with a good heart. Only happiness and peace of mind is wished for you. All the best in whatever you do. xxx
What an amazing person you are Jan, and such an attractive lady. I was with you throughout the programme and could almost feel your pain and subsequent joy. I would so love to meet you one day and express my admiration for your courage and determination to achieve your goal of becoming the woman you always have been. I so hope your parents will be able to welcome a lovely daughter into their lives - maybe one day, but soon. Good luck for the future! Love Diane
Glad to see so many people here having full admiration for Jan. My bf and I fully echo those sentiments after watching last night.
Throughout the documentary I so wished we could have been there for her, especially before and after the ops - how incredibly scary it must have been to be all alone. I wanted to be able to give her a big hug and tell her that not only is she not alone, but that there will be plenty of new people in her life to support and love her, despite having had the heartache of so many others previously turning their backs.
I understand it couldn't have been easy for anybody involved, but surely it's clear to see that it was hardest and most upsetting for her above all. Shame on all those family members and supposed friends that didn't have the courage to accept the changes, and continue to love the wonderful person inside and out, even after time had passed.
What an intelligent, brave, admirable and attractive woman. Best of luck to you Jan - you deserve true happiness.
Jan, I don't know if you will ever get to read this but I am an ex-para (2para 1972-1976) and it was with interest that I watched your documentary. You were a member of the most elite fighting force in the world and you lived your live by their rules. It was fantastic to see that as a woman you still abided by those rules of never giving up, soldering on in face of the adversity and adhering to your beliefs. I can only add that I would have been honoured and priveliged to serve under you regardless of your gender. May I also take this opportunity to wish you every happiness and I sincerely hope you find the love and affection that you fought so hard for and that you deserve. GOOD LUCK M'AM AND KEEP YOUR HEAD DOWN
Like many people, I have never had the urge to write on a forum before but last night's program has inspired me to do so. I lived next door to Ian in Bosnia a few years ago so I have watched the media coverage of the "sex change soldier" with some interest but not in a ghoulish way I hope you understand. I didn't know what to think when I started watching last night's Cutting Edge but by the end I was moved to tears. Jan, you were always eloquent but last night you presented yourself so well and you should be proud of yourself. I hope that you have found true happiness and fulfillment in your life. It seems to be a very lonely path that you have taken but I have faith that with time you will find love again. I am shocked that your parent's have disowned you and I hope they feel throughly ashamed of themselves. I'm not sure if you will remember who I am but I just wanted to pass on my best wishes for your new life. You go girl!
After having just watched the documentary Sex Change Soldier I feel immensely sorry for Jan, regardless of whether she is a man or a woman I see a genuinely kind hearted person who has been born into a body she does not feel is meant for her. A very hard situation. Who would want to be born with those feelings? Nobody. So when it happens to someone, especially someone you know the least people could do is sympathise. It was heartbreaking to see the lengths she has had to go to to feel like a woman. I found it particularly sad that she had been sexually abused, so often does this happen and family members not be aware but I would have hoped that after hearing her story that her parents would have at least got in touch. Life throws all kind of stuff at you and yeah this ones pretty heavy but Jan didn't choose to feel the way she does. Thank god she's been blessed with such a good sense of humour as that will get her through the bad times i'm sure. I hope after watching the programme that people were touched as much as me and do not treat her like a "circus freak" as i certainly didn't see her to be that, I wish her all the luck the world to lead a happy, healthy life as a beautiful woman. I also don't write into these forums much but i wanted to show how much i was touched too.
----------------- Forwarded Message: Subj: (no subject) Date: 20/03/2008 23:53:15 GMT Standard Time From: Cheekyceecee To: Cheekyceecee
After having just watched the documentary Sex Change Soldier I feel immensely sorry for Jan, regardless of whether she is a man or a woman I see a genuinely kind hearted person who has been born into a body she does not feel is meant for her. A very hard situation. Who would want to be born with those feelings? Nobody. So when it happens to someone, especially someone you know the least people could do is sympathise. It was heartbreaking to see the lengths she has had to go to to feel like a woman. I found it particularly sad that she had been sexually abused, so often does this happen and family members not be aware but I would have hoped that after hearing her story that her parents would have at least got in touch. Life throws all kind of crap at you and yeah this ones pretty heavy but Jan didn't choose to feel the way she does. I hope after watching the programme that people were touched as much as me and do not treat her like a "circus freak" as i certainly didn't see her to be that, I wish her all the luck the world to lead a happy, healthy life as a beautiful woman.
I am very scared I may face homelessness soon Lots of Love 
) I think you're fantastic! You moved me, and i suspect many others too. Congratulations
