An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman were strolling in the park with their wives. It was a windy day, and the breeze was lifting the ladie's skirts. The Englishman gasped in shock. "Good grief, you're not wearing knickers!" "Knickers?" asked his wife. "Do you think I can afford knickers on the housekeeping that you give me?" "Here's a fiver" said the Englishman. "Buy yourself some knickers" Then the Irishman noticed that his wife wasn't wearing any. He got the same reply, so he gave his wife a fiver to buy new knickers. Then the Scotsman noticed that his wife was flashing her assets. "Knickers?" asked his wife. "Do you think I can afford knickers on the housekeeping that you give me?" "Here's a comb" said the Scotsman. "Tidy yourself up!"
It has been said that whenever the nationals of these islands used to gather at an artistic event: the Scots provided the poetry; the Welsh provided the music; the Irish provided the prose; and the English provided the audience.
While, of course, being nonsense - sorry to bring up Shakespeare, Milton, Elgar, etc - the English do have an excuse: we were busy running the greatest empire the world has ever seen. (We rather decently called it the 'British' Empire, but we all know who was in charge, don't we, old boy...?)
