*should you wish to pass yourself off as a german you do not need to speak the language. a german accent will do.

*a man wiil show no pain whilst taking the beating but will wince in agony when a women tries to clean his wounds

*it doesnt matter if you are outnumbered in a fight in martial arts- your opponents will wait patiently to attack you oe by one whilst dancing around in a threatening manner.

*a detective can only solve a case once they have been suspended from duty.

All American cars are lined with semtex and nitro-glycerine.

If you hear a noise in the cellar and the light switch doesn't work, if you go down anyway, whatever happens - it's your fault!

On the flip-side, I have a friend in the police force who said the worst place to hide in a gunfight is behind a car door as a bullet will go straight through!

You can always park directly outside the building you're heading for.

To make a woman ugly or plain simply apply hair-grips and/or glasses.

Putting a towel over a telephone handset disguises your voice.

Cowboys have telescopic/zoom vision.

Whenever running from something you WILL fall over.

A gazillion phone numbers in America and they all start with 555.

...and nobody ever dials a wrong number.

All cars explode shortly after a crash.

Everybody has the exact change for whatever they're buying.

Monsters can only hide themselves from the camera for the first hour of a film.

If you sing a song in the middle of a street, even strangers will know the dance steps (and the backing vocals if they're really good!)

Bollywood stars can magically transport themselves into a field or a forest as soon as they start singing.

If you stand on a hill in the middle of a deserted mountain range and start singing, you're sure to be accompanied by a full symphony orchestra.

*TV NEWS BULLETINS USUALLY CONTAIN A STORY THAT AFFECTS YOU PERSONALLY AT THAT PRECISE MOMENT.

*THE VENTILATION SYSTEM IN ANY BUILDING IS A PERFECT HIDING PLACE. NO ONE WILL THIN TO LOOK THERE AND YOU CAN TRAVEL TO ANY PART OF THE BUILDING WITHOUT PROPBLEM.

blonde busty girls with tattoos like to have sex with each other...workmen visiting the houses of bored housewives always end up sleeping with them...and funky bass guitar music is always in fashion


Are these the kinds of films we're talking about?

If you have an 'open door' policy on police cadet recruitment, you can expect your force to possess a wide range of useful skills, ideal for crime detection. These may or may not include:

- extreme physical features such as obesity or excessive height

- speaking in an irritating voice with no control over volume or pitch

- the ability to produce realistic sound effects to the embarrassment of unpopular colleagues and villains

beatiful young women have few choices in boyfriends so they inevitably fall for the slightly odd and awkward guy, (who generally the lead man in the movie)

You fire a machine gun at a barrel of petrol and it explodes... even when there is no spark created :S

There was a galaxy far far away, a long time ago.

Automatic weapons that fire 70 rounds per second never need reloading.

"In space, no one can hear your scream." The same applies for Croydon, therefore Croydon is in space.

"When there's no more room in hell, the dead will walk the earth." Having been to Croydon where the dead walk the streets it proves the above statement, as the earth is in space.

Always have an extra-matrital affair with a vegetarian, they would never put a rabbit in a pan of hot water.

*The bad guy never wins even when you secretly want them to

*The guy always gets the girl

How gorgeous woman can "Never find a boyfriend".
and
Chandler obviously hasn't had his piles

fundangle by name, frustrated and DEAR GOD WHAT HAPPENED WHILE I WAS UNCONSCIOUS,by nature.

The word demon's have stolen my done.

When looking for something in the dark, your pet cat will, without exception, leap out at you, screaming.

Most dogs are immortal.

Duvets ar L-shaped, so that they reach as far as the shoulders on a woman and the waist on a man.

In a bar, there will always be someone polishing the glasses with a tea towel.

if someone shoots you once you are more likely to get shot than if someone shoots you hundreds of times

Every police investigation requires a visit to the local strip club. Furthermore, said investigation must be completed within 48 hours.

If a man shows you photographs of his family, he's going to die very soon.

Keep 'em coming, people.

How come it only takes one bullet to kill minor bad guys but at least 30 to kill the main baddy, and no matter how many times you shoot the good guy he survives.

Storm troopers can't aim for shit.

Putting mud all over yourself decieves the predator and allows a few extra seconds to escape.

All sharks are accompanied by an orchestra.

Putting on a pair of glasses can make you look unrecognizable to friends and family.

Scarecrows lack a brain.
Tin men lack a heart.
Lions are pussies.

If you are getting chased by Biff, look for a van carrying manure and let nature take it's course.

found this website
http://www.moviecliches.com/

they've got every angle covered, makes this thread redundant.

The baddy is always expecting Mr (James) Bond, even though he's the world's most secretest agent.

lol

Superman can stop bullits with his chest but he ducks when you throw the gun at him.

when a car comes towards you you must stay not run

even when people are running down the street waving guns, the public just keep walking on by

even if a killer is walking behind and you are running as fast as you can, he will always catch up with you

babies are always excellently behaved

If you show a fellow soldier a picture of your sweetheart back home, you will die.

all grocery bags contain one stick of french bread.

It's always who you least suspect.

There must be a big fight between potential lovers before a big reunion at the end.

The police are idiots.