Man walks into a bar after having a particulary hard day and asks the barman for a beer, a whisky, some nuts and a packet of cigarettes. The barman pours the whisky, gets the nuts and puts them on the bar, tells the man that the cigarette machine is in the corner and starts to pour the beer. The beer runs out so the barman tells the man he has to go change the barrel. The man downs the whisky and wanders over to the cigarette machine, he puts in the money and selects his brand of cigarettes but nothing appears, yet suddenly the machine says "Look at you, yes I am talking to you, Look at you, you are a joke, call yourself a man, you are pathetic, you walk in here to drown your sorrows because you cant take a bit of pressure, your a clown, you disgust me, why dont you just end it now, in fact get out of my face you good for nothing tosspot!!" The man is taken aback and disbelieving what just happened he sits back at the bar, when the nuts suddenly say "Hey fella, dont listen to him he doesn't know what he's on about, I like you, I think your one of the good guys, Your smart, clever, good looking, God you really are good looking, your life couldn't be better and a drink after a hard day is what you deserve, your one of the winners in this life!!!." The barman returns and pours the man his pint but notices that he is looking rather shocked so asks him what up. The man tells him that when he went to get some fags nothing appeared but that the machine had done nothing but slag him off and yet when he returned to the bar the nuts could not have been nicer to him. The Bar man laughs and says to the man "I can explain its quite simple you see the cigarette machine is out of order and the nuts are complementary"