i have feeling that everyone knows a good joke so i suggest you find your favourite and post them up.

Let's not post every single joke we heard-just the ones that have made you laugh

You start alab

ok

Little Johnny Stands Up

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, "Everyone who thinks you're stupid, stand up!"

After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. The teacher said, "Do you think you're stupid, Little Johnny?"

"No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

Bombed Outta My Head

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided to drop stuff on the town they were flying over. One dropped a book, one dropped a brick, and one dropped a bomb, just for fun. They then landed, to survey the damage they caused. The first thing they saw was a small child, crying and holding a book. Then they saw another small child, crying and holding a brick. Then they saw a small child laughing his head off.
"What's so funny?" they asked him.
"It was great," he said. "I farted and my neighbor's house blew up."

Mistaken Identity

A drunk guy is walking down the street. He sees this nun, runs up and knocks her over. He says, "You don't feel so tough now, do you, Batman

OMFG quite possibly the three worst jokes I am ever likely to hear. In fact this forum should be closed and these put in the hall of fame

Well they made me smile-but suppose they are bad

Don't take it too personally, I'm sure you have much better

i LOVED that last one about the nun! hilarious! *waves* hi bala!

Why does the bride always wear white?

Because it is nice for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator......

quote:

Originally posted by benarbia:
OMFG quite possibly the three worst jokes I am ever likely to hear. In fact this forum should be closed and these put in the hall of fame

I agree. Always so crummy!!

Cheesy Hall of FAme, taht is!

It's great to see some jokes getting posted up here. Keep them coming!

WARNING: This is very confusing jokes

Two men met at a bus stop and struck up a conversation.One of them kept complaining of family problems.Finally, the other man said: You think you have family problems? Listen to my situation.

A few years ago, I met a young widow with a grown-up daughter.

We got married and got myself a stepdaughter

Later, my father married my stepdaughter.

That made my stepdaughter,my step-mother and my father became my stepson-in-law.Also, my wife became mother-in-law of her father-in-law Much later thedaughter of my wife, my stepmother, had a son.Thisboy was my half-brother because he was my father's son. But he was also the son of my wife's daughter which made him my wife's grand-son.That made me the grand-father of my half-brother. This was nothing until my wife and I had a Baby.

Now the half-sister of my son, my stepmother, is also the Grandmother. This makes my father,the brother-in-law of my child, whose stepsister is my father's wife, I am my stepmother's brother-in-law, my wife is her own child's aunt, my son is my father's nephew

and I am my OWN GRANDFATHER!

Well, the best jokes i know will probably get me banned. Down with censorship!


An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar. The barman takes one look at them and says "What is this, some sort of joke?"

A man walked into a bar.. Ouch!

One that was going around last Spring: What's brown and half-eaten?

The Pope's Easter egg.


What do you call a man with a spade on his head?

Idiot.

What's the difference between bogeys and Brussel Sprouts?

Kids won't eat Brussel Sprouts.

why are there no asprins in the jungle?



because the parrots eat 'em all

What is it called when a frog kills himself?
He kermits suicide

A little joke i heard just before the World Cup kicked off "England will definately win it this year" - God did i laugh.. and i'm an England fan...

What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
-Hot cross bunnies!!

How do you make a cat go 'woof?'
-Smother it in petrol and set it alight!!

Sorry animal lovers!!

-"It's better to let people think you're an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it!"

A young lad is approached by an old crone. She tells him he can have 3 wishes on one condition.
"ok" he says "i will have lots of money, a yacht and the most beautiful girl in the world to be my wife."
"Its done" said the old crone, "now the condition is that you spend the night with me."
The next day his ordeal is over.
"How old are you?" asked the old crone.
"22" he replies "why?"
"Aren't you a bit old to believe in fairies!"

A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs

Two cows and two bulls in a field. This huge gust of wind comes and blow the cows over. As they pick themselves up they ask the bulls why they didn't get blown over, the bulls replied "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

quote:

Originally posted by ohdearieme!:
Two cows and two bulls in a field. This huge gust of wind comes and blow the cows over. As they pick themselves up they ask the bulls why they didn't get blown over, the bulls replied "We bulls wobble but we don't fall down."

i last laughed at that when i caught the dinosar to school!

quote:

Originally posted by ohdearieme!:
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs

nearly as funny as
Doctor i think i am a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together man!

A guy walks in for his interview.
The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."

Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."

2nd guy walks in for his interview.

The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy responds, "Why, You don't have any ears."

Interviewer: "Get out! Send in the next guy."

This guy on the way out says to the 3rd guy "What ever you do, don't say anything about his not having any ears - He'll kick you right out."

3rd guy walks in for his interview.

The interviewer asks, "Whats the first thing you notice about me?"

The guy looks at the interviewer intently for a few seconds and responds, "Why, you wear contact lenses don't you."

The interviewer says, "That's impressive that you're so observant. How could you tell I wear contact lenses?"

3rd guy "Because you don't have any damn ears to hang glasses on."

quote:

Originally posted by jumbo jimbo:

quote:

Originally posted by ohdearieme!:
A man goes to a psychiatrist and says, "Doc, my brother's crazy, he thinks he's a chicken." The doctor says, "Why don't you turn him in?" The guy says, "We would. But we need the eggs

nearly as funny as
Doctor i think i am a pair of curtains
Well pull yourself together man!

or:
it is hard to be humble when you are as skilled as me!

A man goes into a restaurant and is seated. All the waitresses are gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous waitress wearing a very short skirt comes to his table and asks, "What would you like, sir?"
He looks at the menu and then scans her beautiful frame top to bottom, then answers, "A quickie."

The waitress turns and walks away in disgust. After she regains her composure she returns and asks again, "What would you like, sir?" Again the man thoroughly checks her out and again answers, "A quickie, please."

This time her anger takes over, she reaches over and slaps him across the face with a resounding "SMACK!" and storms away.

A man sitting at the next table leans over and whispers, "Um, Pal, I think it's pronounced 'quiche'."

hi JJ..hope im keeping them clean!!