old one

man and his dog walks into a bar, the dog does a big dump in the middle of the floor. the next man walks into the bar, skids on the sh't and embarassing asks for a beer. the third man walks into the bar and does the biggest skid straight on his back, gets up and walks to the bar. the second man said to the third man 'i just did that' ...so he hit him!

A woman walks into a bar and spots a good looking bloke at the bar.

"What are you drinking" she asks. The handsome stranger replies "Magic Bitter" She thinks the fella is taking the mick and walks off. After half an hour of sitting on her own she decides to give the guy a second chance and goes back over to him. "Really what are you drinking?" she says. "MAGIC BITTER!" the man shouts back.

"Look do you want me to prove it?" he asks.

So, to her amazement he downs his pint,jumps out of the window, flies twice around the pub and comes back through the window and sits back down on his bar stool. She cannot believe it
"ooo I fancy one of those then" she says.

The man says to the landord "give the lady a pint of what I'm having". She gets her pint, downs it in one, jumps out of the window, crashes two storeys to the road below and is hit by the number 59 bus....killed instantly.

The landlord looks up at the bloke and says " Superman you're a right nasty get when you're drunk"