Kilojule - Very heavy diamond.
Proliferation - Having lots of anti-abortion protesters all over the place.
Remonstrate - Shown how to do something by Scooby Doo.
Apiary - Forcing primates to make honey.
Karma Sutra - Sexual positions you learned in a former life.

Digression - Welsh violence

cheek: lobbing a brick through a window and then asking for it back

innocence: nuns doing press ups in a cucumber field

BRAVERY:
Coming home late, covered in lipstick and reeking of cheap perfume, Slapping the wife on the a*se and saying "your'e next fatty".

happiness: rolling over the morning after with a £20 note and no hugging

Inuitive - An inhabitant of frozen tundra who just KNOWS things.

saddness - finding out you only have £10

Nitrate - Hourly wage for late-shift.
Shampoo - Fake turd.
Internet - Anglers' directions for fish.
Illegal - Sick bird of prey.

handsomeis - Eliza Doolittle describing a trip to a well known sex shop (Ann Summers)

Male Writer - man, unemployed yet still of interest to women or literate misogynist
Female Writer - literate, scorned female

Encyclopedia- One who has a fetish for small bikes.

Death - Preferable to watching Big Brother.
Overpaid - Jonathan Ross

Sonicboom - To cull fast, blue hedgehogs using explosives.
Polytechnic - Robotic parrot.
Simpleton - A fan of Matt Groening of below average intelligence.
Thesaurus - A dinosaur known by several names.
Tolkien - Someone who is interested in toll booths.
Tardis - Rap slang, to insult black sticky substances.
Organism - Discrimination against certain parts of the body.
Robot - A line of arses.
Onomatopoeia - To urinate on top of a rug.
Teesside - To kill people from Middlesbrough.