THE

Man walks into a bar with a bit of green tarmac
Landlord says...sorry your barred we don't serve cyclepaths in here.....

A sandwich walks into a bar and asks for a pint. The bar says sorry, we don't serve food

The barman! Not the bar! Barman! It's all in the delivery!

A man walks into a bar and asks for a packet of crisps. The bar man says "Im sorry but we dont sell crisps". "Oh, well I'll have some nuts then please" said the man. "Certainly" said the bar man. The man bought the nuts and left the bar.

^^LOL!

man walks into a bar and notices a monkey sat on the bar,
he ignores it an otders a pint,
the next minute the monkey pinches the pint and downs it in one,
so he asks the barman 'whos it that monkey'
the barman replies ' the man in the corner playing the piano.
so he storms over and says 'do you know your monkeys just pinched my pint?'
the pianist replies ' no, but if you sing the first line i shouldd be able to get it!'

Fred walks into a bar, orders a pint and turns round to a man sitting down with a dog beside him. He asks the man,

"Does your dog bite?" the man replies no. So Fred lowers him arm and strokes the dog, quickly followed by a swift movement from the dog as he bites Fred's arm off. Clearly in considerable pain Fred turns round to the man and says,

"I thought you said your dog didn't bite!",
"That's not my dog" the man replies.

Rupert Bear's middle name is "the"; Rupert the Bear. This was very common at one time: Alexander the Great; Hereward the Wake; Jude the Obscure; etc. It superceded "of": Jesus of Nazareth; John of Gaunt; Robin of Loxley; and so on. In both cases, "the" and "of" mean "gullible".