NOT ORIGINAL: Margaret Thatcher is leaving a fund-raising function for the Tory party and extolling the virtues of individualism and limiting the powers of the State, when she sees a one-legged man leaning on a crutch, playing a banjo, with a sign reading: 'Falklands Veteran'. She walks up to the man, and waxes proudly to her colleagues: "You see here a patriot and hero; someone who is not content to live off the State; who has tried to make a living using his own talents and abilities: this wounded soldier is what Britain should be all about!" And, with a tear in her eye, gives the man £500 from her purse. As she walks away, convinced of the rightness of this fine example of an independent and self-made entrepreneur, the man doffs his hat and shouts after her: "Gracias, Senora!"
1945. Hitler and Goebbles are together in the bunker. GOEBBLES: Victory will soon be ours. HITLER: I am sure you're right Goebbles but can you explain why all these bombs are going off and there are Russian troops on the street outside? GOEBBLES: Pigs can fly. HITLER: Oh come on you dont expect me to believe that!
A young soldier is at the gates of heaven and St Peter is taking down his details. St Peter: And how did you die? Soldier:I threw a hand grenade at the enemy St Peter"Strange.....did you know you were going to die?" Soldier:Yes, when I heard him shout "Oi! you could've had my eye out with that pin!"
Tony Blair's Government have today announced that they are franchising the armed forces. Entrepeneur Stelios Hali-Loannou has already invested in the Royal Marines, who can be seen on patrol as part of the UN peacekeeping force in Iraq wearing their new, distintive orange camoflage with the brand name 'EasyArmy'
Originally posted by handsomeis: How many Israeli army officers does it take to change a lightbulb?
1 obviously, it's a very simple job and just because you add 'Israeli Army Officer' to the mix doesn't make it any more difficult than it would for say; a psychiatrist or a comedian. It is really just a device to derive humour from an inane question and really has no place in 21st century humour. It's lazy and derivative. Boom Boom.
I respect your stuff because I think you are a clever guy but I really think you are missing the point. This site (I think... tell me if I am wrong) is for all types of humour from the highly charged political stuff through to slap-stick....
If you don't like "How many Israeli Army officers....", then put something better in here but don't fall into the trap of thinking something is not "good" or "funny" just because you're not laughing... or you become the laughter police which I would not have thought was your style?
Besides, which, this is the only time I got mentioned in the BLOG and NOW you're telling me it's RUBBISH !!! ... how could you, boo hoo, boo hoo
Frankie xxx
Spare a thought this year, and remember: JUNKMALES aren't just for Christmas...
Originally posted by handsomeis: Ok, here goes, you may have heard of the 'anti-joke' the ones used by people like John Thompson doing 'Bernard Right-On' - e.g. A pakistani, irishman and a jew in a pub, what a fine example of an integrated community. This was an attempt to do such a thing in an ironic way. The point? Oh well, if you've gotta explain a joke..... Also, it is rather a jaded and lazy format.
OK, well, maybe your anti-joke will win the DVD... if it does I shall complain like handsomeis does...
I guess my sense of humour is different to yours... I couldn't actually see anything ironic in your anti-joke... although I can see the irony in the example you give above...
...but thanks for your explanation... I came on this site to try to learn something and I think I am doing...
I think any traditional joke format is interesting, at the moment, in terms of trying to write jokes, but I may grow out of that later...
Good luck! ("...and I mean that most sincerely, folks..." Hughie Green, 1965)
Spare a thought this year, and remember: JUNKMALES aren't just for Christmas...
At the Iraqi Summer Fete, held in Basra this year, the event organizers have been innundated with entries for the one-legged race. This follows reports that the bottom's fallen out of the trouser market and the youngsters of the town would give their right arm for independence.
Two squaddies are back at base in iraq when a third member of the battallion walks in
Squaddie 1-
"Where the hell have you been?, we were worried mate"
Squaddie 2- (whistling cheerfully)
"You will never belive what happend to me, I was coming back to base when i saw this Iraqie bird with the most beautiful body lying by the road completely naked!!!"
Squaddie 2-
"Well what happened?"
Squaddie 1-
"I got naked too and had some of the best sex of my life"
Squaddie 1-
"You lucky bastar*! was she good looking?"
Squaddie 1-
"Dunno know,i couldn't find the head"
_________________________ I stroked a Beaver at Drayton Manor
