Taken from the papers:
The future of popular Channel 4 show, Shipwrecked, was cast into doubt today after the startling revelation that one of the contestants, 23 year old Keith Wilson from Barnsley, was half man, half moose.
The unlikely conception is believed to have occurred at a rave in Ottawa, Canada, where his Mother was travelling during a gap year.
“I have no regrets,” she told our reporter. “He may be a moose, but he’s still my son.”
Fellow islanders reacted to the news with disbelief.
“You’re kidding!” exclaimed close friend, Lara Goodison. “I just thought he was really hairy!”
“I suppose we should have guessed,” said Marvyn Williams, when questioned. “He used to graze all the time, but we put it down to nerves.”
Mr. Wilson, the final new arrival on the program, was able to conceal his antlers from fellow contestants by selecting a thick, woollen hat as his luxury item.
Animal Rights organisation, the R.S.P.C.M., reacted with anger to the news. A spokesman told us, “We find it totally unacceptable that the entire competition should ultimately depend on a moose! It is sheer exploitation and we intend to complain most vigorously.”
Mr. Wilson was unavailable for comment.
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