Post ur Favourite jokes here.I'm bored and need something to laugh at.

A cowboy rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which he was. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar, handily flipped his gun into the air, caught it above his head without even looking and fired a shot into the ceiling.

"Which one of you sidewinders stole my horse?!?!?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have another beer, and if my horse ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. The man, true to his word, had another beer, walked outside, and his horse has been returned to the post.

He saddled up and started to ride out of town. The bartender wandered out of the bar and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I had to walk home."

hahahahaha.. i like it .. lol

JOKE: JELLY BABY GOES TO THE DOCTORS AND SAYS DR "IV GOT AIDS" DR REPLYS "YOU CANT HAVE AIDS YOUR A JELLY BABY" JELLY BABY SAYS "YES BUT IV BEEN SLEEPING WITH ALLSORTS!!

JOKE: KATE MOSS BUMPS INTO JEREMY CLARKSTON ON A NIGHT OUT. SHE SAID SO WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING? JEREMY SAYS I DO TOP GEAR. GREAT SAYS KATE I'LL HAVE 5GRAMS.

JOKE: why can a prostitute make more money than a drug dealer?..... coz she can wash her crack and sell it again!!!!!

lol....i like em........lol

One for the kids...

How do you fit 100 Pikachu's onto a Bus ????


Pokemon !!!!!!

quote:

Originally posted by depth charge:
One for the kids...

How do you fit 100 Pikachu's onto a Bus ????


Pokemon !!!!!!

How about one for someone who has heard that joke a million times before.It's funny and fanx 4 posting it but it's sooooooooo old.

whats is the similarity between bra and bar?



ans: both are the places where men go crazy when OPEN!!

[/QUOTE]How about one for someone who has heard that joke a million times before.It's funny and fanx 4 posting it but it's sooooooooo old.[/QUOTE]
In that case, you could say the same about the rest of the jokes on here!!

hey depth charge kate moss joke isnt that old she only got caught sniffing coke 2/3months ago,everyone loves that joke. i'll try and send more up to date once ok what age are you anyway?

joke what cant you say in a guy bar?........ can i push your stool in

JOKE: A wonan terrorist believed to be part of Al-qaida was today found dead. its believed she got her anthrax mixed up with her tampax an blew up the wrong c**t!!

quote:

Originally posted by sonia1tam:
hey depth charge kate moss joke isnt that old she only got caught sniffing coke 2/3months ago,everyone loves that joke. i'll try and send more up to date once ok what age are you anyway?

You know what age i am, you wished me happy birthday!!

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they have requested an audience, and as they are THE Seven Dwarfs, they are ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey, my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?" Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Holiness, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment, and answers, "No, Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs start giggling. Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them. Dopey turns back, "Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers "Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe."

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back and says, "Your extreme holiness! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?"

After consulting with his advisors, the Pope responds, "I'm sorry my son, there're no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." The other dwarfs collapse in a heap, rolling, laughing and pounding the floor, tears streaming down their cheeks as they begin chanting.....

"Dopey shagged a penguin! Dopey shagged a penguin!"

All these jokes are very very funny. keep them coming lmao

The only way to live, is to live Shameless

What does John Prescott and an MFI Flatpack have in common?

A few screws in the wrong place and the whole cabinet falls apart.

all these jokes are hilarious lmao...and i love that pokemon 1 it is great :P

well ive got a joke but i cant rele remember all of it so sorry if i ruin the punchline...i did fine it hilarious though! ok...

a man called mick who had no body, just a head, was searching through a local newspaper for a job when he spotted a perfect job for himself..at the local church! he dropped in for the appointment as a bell ringer at the localchurch later that day...so the vicar plonked him onto the end of bell and swung him..he was a natural at it so the vicar gave him the job! later that week the vicar was looking at mick's CV with some of his fellow priests..telling them how good a bell ringer mick was..he had just 1 problem..he couldnt remember micks name!! so there he was with all his priests trying to rack his brains when 1 of the priests said to the vicar "so what is this mans name then who seems to be brilliant at his new job" and the vicar replied.....
"i cant remember but his face really deos ring a bell"


lmao i find that so funny..youve probs already heard it i think its quite old but made me laugh! apologies if i typed it out wrong or soemthing! cheerio xxx

thats ment to say.. lmao thats good is the last line part of the joke? the car thing?