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It's simple. You too can defy the Law of Averages, in two easy steps: 1. Become an umpire 2. Decide James Kirtley is a great guy, and a superb bowler. 
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Abitov mean spirit ov course! 
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Play Bangladesh.
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Yes. VoT, yes. Or give Vanuatu Test status.
Therapy? made my ears hurt
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Or Canada and Bermuda ODI status...
Oops! Too late!
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Go to a casino.
Bunny, where'd ya put the keys, girl?
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