Ten ducks send village cricketers waddling into the hall of shame!!
A VILLAGE cricket team has stumbled into the game’s record books after all of its batsmen were dismissed for ducks.
Goldsborough 2nd XI knew that they were in for a tough match when they visited Dishforth, who are top of the fourth division in the North Yorkshire Nidderdale League. Even the team’s most pessimistic supporter, however, would have struggled to predict that Goldsborough, a village near Knaresborough, would be bowled out within 12 overs having failed to score a single run off the bat.
The side’s total of five all out, the runs coming from four byes and a leg bye, was also remarkable for all ten wickets having fallen to catches, each batsman having managed to strike the ball. When Dishforth batted, they completed their victory in a mere seven balls despite losing two wickets, tailenders who were given a rare chance to open the batting.
The league match, on Saturday, lasted a mere 57 minutes and Goldsborough’s score may be the lowest in the history of the 112-year-old, eight-division amateur league. Tricia Hurd, the league’s secretary, said that it was almost certainly the first time that ten ducks had been recorded in an innings and Wisden Almanack, the cricketers’ bible, described Dishforth’s feat as very rare.
Chris Lane, Wisden’s managing director, said that it was also amazing that every Goldsborough batsmen had been caught. “Having all put bat to ball, it’s quite extraordinary that they didn’t manage to get a single run,” he said.
Peter Horsman, the rueful captain of the losing team, said that the experience was both surreal and embarrassing. “When we were four wickets down I jokingly said that it would be strange if we were all out for ducks, but I certainly didn’t plan it like that. You would have thought that even when we were seven or eight down someone would have got an edge or something to get a run.”
Mr Horsman said that they missed one golden opportunity for a single run. “We could have got a run,” he said. “But the batsman had just been hit on the foot the ball before and he turned down the chance.”
Mr Horsman, 45, who went in after the fall of the third wicket and survived four balls, said that his team was looking forward to next weekend’s match. “It beats shopping on a Saturday,” he said.
The reputation of Goldsborough’s No 11 batsman, John Tomkinson, remained untarnished by the defeat after he carried his bat for an heroic, unbeaten 0. In a message posted on the club’s website, Mr Tomkinson reflected on his undefeated innings and concluded: “So it’s not my fault then!” Steve Wilson, the Dishforth captain, said that after winning the toss he decided to put the opposition in because “there’d been a bit of rain in the morning and we thought there might be a bit in the wicket”.
He proceeded to watch as his opening bowlers, Gavin Hardisty and Craig Costello, returned figures of seven for 0 and two for 0. “I wouldn’t have thought it was possible if I hadn’t seen it happen,” Mr Wilson, 29, said. “It was really tough for them. Everything they hit just went wrong. Each of their batsmen was caught out and some of them played some really attacking shots.
“They left the field looking a bit dejected, to say the least, but our bowlers were quite happy. We’re doing well at the top of the division and they’re bottom, so they were probably expecting a difficult game, but maybe not that difficult.”
_____________________________________________ Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
_____________________________________________ Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
Prologue Man: [with barely concealed unction] Good evening. You know, I think it was G.K. Chesterton, who once said... [forgets line]
Prompter: [out of vision] "The follies..."
Prologue Man: The follies of my...
Prompter: "men's youth..."
Prologue Man: [correcting himself] Men's youth. Are in glorious retrospect.
Prompter: "Are, in retrospect, glorious..."
Prologue Man: And so, our story tonight...
Prompter: No no, "are, in retrospect, glorious."
Prologue Man: [casting about] Are... in retrospect... glorious...
Prompter: "Compared..."
Prologue Man: Compared... by Eddie Waring!
Prompter: No no! "Compared *to*."
Prologue Man: Compared...?
Prompter: "The follies of men's youth are, in retrospect, glorious compared to..."
Prologue Man: [utterly lost] To...
Prompter: "Compared to the follies of their old age."
Prologue Man: [reminding himself] Compared to the... follies of their... old age. [clears throat]
Prologue Man: Our sherry tonight...
Prompter: No, no. "I think it was G.K. Chesterton who once said, 'The follies of men's youth are, in retrospect, glorious compared to the follies of their old age.' And so our story tonight concerns a boy confronted at one and the same time with the follies of youth and old age."
Oh dear - embee now informs me that I'll probably be banned for the above. Apparently the editor now takes a very dim view of any material that might have been copied and posted from elsewhere ...
Ed, if this is a rule, it would have been nice to know.
