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my other half wants to adopt my son who is 6. i have been looking it up on the internet and i cant find much about the process really and i want to get some advice or experience stories before i look like a boob and ask someone official about it lol. i know we would need the consent of the biological father but he is not on the birth certificate (or anywhere to be seen tbh, could be dead for all i know). every piece of into i find tells me that we need consent of the people with parental responsibilites..but it also says that to have those responsibilites you need to be on the birth cert....so that is just me isn't it? it's all confusing lol!
trust me this is not something we have taken lightly, we have been talking about it for AGES. it's just that with a baby on the way it's made us think about it more seriously and what with the baby having my OH's surname and my eldest currently having mine (and we hoping to get married one day too) it's all getting a tad confusing lol! does not help when my surname is cooler than my oh's and when we do get married it will probably be double barreled, and not sure if we can do that when registering baby's birth. sorry if this thread is confusing, but it doesnt help that im thick, tired and confused as well  just anted to know if anyone had any insight or experience?  ~baby hooby is here! Dexter born 28/06/2008~ KATHREYA TO WIN ~ fan number 5! |
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Do you have any friends who are solicitors or involved in any way in the legal field ? You may well get a lot of confusing suggestions here when the best way could be to ask a legal eagle friend. The best of luck Darth honey
 Procrastination gives you something to look forward to. °•.♥.•°No.153 of The New and Improved RACHEL Fan Club°•.♥.•° |
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i dont know anyone that clever
 i just sort of wanted some insight really, not legal advice as such. this forum is as good as any for asking a general question lol. i did look at questions on the net that people had asked but most of them were about married women who got pregnant behind their husbands backs....so not very helpful lol! ~baby hooby is here! Dexter born 28/06/2008~ KATHREYA TO WIN ~ fan number 5! |
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I should think that there must be a way to trace the father and that would be up to the "powers that be" when you don't know where he is - that is, if he is still on this side of the mortal coil.
Procrastination gives you something to look forward to. °•.♥.•°No.153 of The New and Improved RACHEL Fan Club°•.♥.•° |
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It might be worth considering a chat with the CAB. I think you can contact them by phone with enquiries too.
Another option is, paying for a half hour consultation with a solicitor. .·`کexy`·..·> Black Horse <·..·´کmart`·. |
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I think a lot will depend on whether you were married to his dad and if you were I think he has more rights than if not. Your best bet really is to get proper legal advice from a solicitor. Good luck
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.  |
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Unfortunately, before it can be contemplated you will have to demonstrate that you have moved heaven and earth to try to contact the child's natural father.
Any adoption application will involve social services, who will assess you and your partner, the family situation etc etc etc - hellishly intrusive but a necessary evil if this is the route you wish to take. best advice is to make an appointment with either a solicitor or (for free) at your local CAB who can talk you through all the procedures and give you a broad overview of what the relevant hoops to jump though are likely to be, and who will indeed have a host of wheezes to try to smoke natural father outta the woodwork. |
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i was adopted by my new dad
 it does make a big difference actually, it is nice to know that someone wanted you even when someone else didn't. i can't remember the year that fathers were automatically given parental responsibility i think it was 2001. but if it was before that it should be easier i think if the real dad doesn't show to court you are pretty much home free good luck with it it will make a big difference to your child Bє уσυяѕєℓƒ ¢σz тнσѕє ωнσ мιη∂ ∂ση'т мαттєя αη∂ тнσѕє ωнσ мαттєя ∂ση'т мιη∂ |
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the CSA can't even find him lol! ~baby hooby is here! Dexter born 28/06/2008~ KATHREYA TO WIN ~ fan number 5! |
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Does your oldest know that his/her stepdad isnt the real father? I would be tempted to have your partners name put on your oldests birthcert and then make sure your child knows why you did it. That way you won't need any adoption. You simply marry and give your oldest your new surname too.
Slaughter me guys if you want but its a pretty harmless action if the kid knows whats going on and the birth father hasn't bothered trying to get in contact. I'm in a similar situation adn have often considered doing the same thing. .(¯`v´¯) . `·.¸.·´ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.`.~* Missing someone is a part of loving them; If you're never apart then you'll never know How strong your love really is Supporting Sarah to the final.......no-one deserves to be treated like $hit. Harmless flirting is not a reason to be hated!! |
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its a good idea. Bє уσυяѕєℓƒ ¢σz тнσѕє ωнσ мιη∂ ∂ση'т мαттєя αη∂ тнσѕє ωнσ мαттєя ∂ση'т мιη∂ |
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Darth, I found some stuff on the internet that might be of use. I'll send it to you elsewhere.
Irish Laws maybe different to the UK, so I don't want to mislead you by telling you the procedure over here. But I would suggest that you at least telephone a solicitor and seek their advice before doing anything. Mods: Please don't commit the A-Team to the forum underground..pretty please  |
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Before contacting a solicitior who will charge vast amounts of £ to advise you, check if your local (or nearby) council or county council handle adoptions. Most of them do and will give the same advice for free.
If you do it this way, you will probably have to start the enquiry process the same way as any prospective adopters but will be fast-tracked at some point. As the chid is already living with you, a lot of the processes (such as the home assessment) will just be formalities - although your partner will still have to be approved as a suitable adoptive parent. Good luck. Member #1 of the Don't Care Who Wins Club |
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Reply ring your local social services departement
they will give you all the info you need for any type of adoption and don't worry it easy |
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Why does he feel the need to adopt, and for what reasons are you doing it
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he doesn't know yet no, will tell him one day but he is only 6 plus has learning difficulties so need to be extra careful how i explain things. he was 20 months old when me and the OH met so have only known him to be his dad (he just started calling him that and as he had no contact at all with real dad....). he vaguely remembers a time when my OH was not around but ofc its just picture memory really, he certainly does not know his bio dad at all, only time he saw him was a few days old but after i said i wasn't going to take him back (he was a real......non nice individual lol) he called me and my son some nameds, told me to throw my son in the river and i never saw him again. despite what he said i did try and make him take responsibility but he just wouldn't and i just left it, figuring that we'd be better off without him, which we are. as he is not on the birth cert though i dont think he has any rights at all (so i read but not 100% sure)...his fault seeing as he wouldn't come with me to register the birth and we were not married thank god. he did text me with some more unsavoury things but he doesn't now and i dont know a phone number. CSA asked me about him twice now and they have never got back to me about it so i assume they cannot find him either...either that or the fact he isn't on the birth cert? think i will definately go to the CAB about it before chasing it up, i really dont want his real dad in his life. when kyle is older and stronger and able to make up his own mind about his dad fair enough but as a kid i think all it will cause is damage to be honest. he was a nasty person.  ~baby hooby is here! Dexter born 28/06/2008~ KATHREYA TO WIN ~ fan number 5! |
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because he is his dad, not in blood granted but every way that matters. he is actually closer to him than i am (probably lol). we also worried cos ofc i am his only parent atm...even though my OH is here and has been for 4.5 years. me being his only parent worries us as what will happen to him if something happens to me? the fact we have a baby on the way just made us think about the surname issue too we cant all have different names...well we could but be confusing lol! very basically we just want to be a proper family (on paper), and its a bit annoying that the only thing thats stopping that is the basic fact that kyle shares half his genes with someone else  ~baby hooby is here! Dexter born 28/06/2008~ KATHREYA TO WIN ~ fan number 5! |
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My daughter is 21 in August and i never adopted her, i was around when she was 18 months old, she was known to the schools and doctors and everybody else as my last name without any problems at all. We did think about it at one stage many moons ago, but decided that it wasnt necessary really, she is my daughter as far as i am concerned and that was all that mattered to me and her |
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Sounds exactly like my problem. Mine is 6 (been with my partner from when I was 8 weeks preg  so he's always been dad) too and doesn't know. I worry non-stop about telling him too. It's a tricky situation we're in and I wish you all the best with it. Hopefully it won't be too complicated for you and it all goes smoothly. Go seek legal advice, CAB is probably best before you go paying for solicitors. I'm not married yet so my youngest has my surname too....but I dread being in your shoes some day. .(¯`v´¯) . `·.¸.·´ ¸.·´¸.·´¨) ¸.·*¨) (¸.·´ (¸.·´ .·´ ¸¸.·¨¯`·.`.~* Missing someone is a part of loving them; If you're never apart then you'll never know How strong your love really is Supporting Sarah to the final.......no-one deserves to be treated like $hit. Harmless flirting is not a reason to be hated!! |
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The CSA couldn't find their own elbows |
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that I hear is very true Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling. |
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