The Continuum method advocates wearing the baby in a sling for the first six months of life, what if the baby like mine is particularly active and would much rather go on the floor to practice rolling and kicking their legs etc, isn't it restrictive for them. Does it not inhibit their motor development.
No not at all! Being in a pram or buggy most of the time...that's restrictive. I have no idea how people manage without slings. I couldn't get anything done without mine. Babies neurological development is postively influenced by touch, by being held, so in that way it's healthy. They get to observe so much more, you can't make eye contact when down near the ground in a buggy looking and peoples legs. It's also physically stimulating being in a sling, they move with you and it stimulates their vestibular system, my osteopath also recommends them and told me they are particularly good for children with clicky hips. Also less likely to have that flat head problem that's becoming more common now. Paediatrician Dr William Sears believe it can reduce SIDS too http://www.askdrsears.com/html/10/T102100.asp#T102104
Also it's not 24/7 in a sling. They still have time out of the sling too. You'll often find those who use slings have no use for any of these gadgets like swings and vibrating rockers, in which babies really don't learn much. Also I use a sling way longer than 6 months. I use it until about 2 1/2 when they are able to walk everywhere. At the moment my youngest son's favourite thing is to go on my back and grab leaves off the trees when we are out and about!
Sorry if I spelt it wrong. Thanks for the helpful information. I thought that the babies were in a sling all the time, so that they do not have time to exercise on the floor say. my daughter was really active and determined to learn new things, she would constantly practise rolling at a very young age, and crawling too, so a sling all the time would not be practical.
The seem a good idea, i dont drive so it would be ideal for public transport, instead of trying to fold a buggy onto it. I think that a sling until they are able to walk is good idea. Once they are walking, they can walk themselves, and good exercise.
My eldest boy made up that name years ago and I stole it for the net! Slings really help when you have a walker that can't quite manage all the way. It's much easier to take a sling with you than push a buggy and run after an exploring toddler! Also I'm not brave enough to attempt London with a buggy and 2 other children but it's easy with a sling. I don't drive either. Another reason to sling, if I hadn't because of the walking to school I have to do my baby would've spent over 3 hours a day in a pram. I just couldn't not hold him for all that time, not to mention having to stop to feed. You can breastfeed and not have to stop your journey with a sling.
The thing with parents who like the continuum concept, they tend to do what is known as attachment parenting. It's not strict about what you do and don't do, to me it's about creating a secure attachment, doing this by seeing to your baby's needs, being empathetic and respectful of their developmental stage. This earns their trust and makes them feel worthwhile, as their feelings have been responded to. Certain things like babywearing and cosleeping to me are symptoms of this, not the rules of it. Because most babies like to be held alot and sleep near Mum that's what we do. But an attached parent would not force these on a baby who did not want it. Slings help us see to that need (which we now know to be beneficial) to be held whilst giving us the freedom to get about, do chores or socialise. They are very handy for parties!
Thank you Moogyboobles, Kaite had colic and would I think have benefited from a sling. I think that I might invest in one for my next child, not to wear 24/7 but from time to time, especially going out and around the house when I am doing chores. I saw a programme on TV a while back about attachment parenting, though it was not for me, it was quite interesting.
The idea of not disciplining your child was a bit hard, especially as some of the children on the programme were so rude to their parents and really needed to be shown the boundaries and what behaviour was acceptable and not. I don't think that I could leave my child nappy less, we have carpets so that certainly would not be good. However it was very good to watch.
In reply to pigletmania I too saw that program, I thought it was veru interesting, but there was so much of it that I just could never see myslef doing. Again, the nappy issue and having a toodler wee in public places. I know it's not quite the same as an adult wee, but surely they should be shown where they can and can't wee? We went to disney land 2 years ago, my nephew was then 3 and almost 100% toilet trained, but he needed a wee during one of the shows - he dropped his pants and just had a wee right there. Is it right for them to think it is acceptable to do it wherever they please? I'n not at the toilet training stage yet, but when I soon het there, i will be happy for any advice.
Katie is my first child, and is only 7.5 months old, so i do not have very much experience of toilet training. I think that I will pick up my cues from Katie as to when she is ready(e.g. telling me that she has done a poo etc). Don't force them. No its not acceptable to go to the loo in public, and basically you are encouraging them if you allow them to do it on a regular basis. The time is ok i think.
They will most certainly think that it is acceptable to go in public if they feel they need the toilet, as with most men on a Friday or Saturday night he he he!
I do have a big problem with not disciplining as advocated by the attatchement theory parents on the programme. This boy was so rude to the father, and yet his father was accepting this and saw it as a way for the boy to express his personality, how wrong. In the real world, they will certainly encounter problems!
hiya again, I am thinking of trading in my '4 way carrier' for a sling similar to the one I saw on the chanel 4 programme, as my daughter has these awful screamng fits from time to time, and I know she just want's a cuddle, although my sling has it's uses, it still doesn't seem to have her as close as I know she would like it. Do any of you know of a good sling to buy, and where I can get one at a good price?
We don't have any problems with rudeness, we do discpline just not in a bullying, naughty step or shouty way. AP is not about not disciplining at all, that would be just not caring and not being bothered. It's more about helping them learn the natural consequences of their actions and by teaching our children to understand others' feelings. If they can empathise with other people they are less likely to do things to upset them. So if one of my sons didn't want his coat on, I wouldn't force him or shout. He'd just not wear his coat and get cold! He'd learn the correct association. The link may not be clear if it were "wear your coat or sit on the step". If they were to be unkind to somebody I'd help them think about how the other person feels. Rather than just shout or send them to their room. The connection between the behaviour and why it was undesirable may not be made then. I also prefer not to make my children behave to please me, I would like them to behave for themselves, and learn to satisfy their own curiosity not just to make the teacher happy so I'm not overly keen on stickers and bribes! If you are interested try reading some Alfie Kohn.
It all sounds a bit far fetched. I feel that you discpline your child because you care, you want them to get the best out of life and what the world has to offer. Children can be little buggers and know what strings to pull, they need boundaries, what they can/or can't do. This does not necessarily mean swearing and shouting at them, but being firm and mabey removing privilidges or apologising to the person. At times a parent might raise his/her voice and intervening especially if the child is in immediate danger.
The outside world is full of constraints, rules that people should follow such as in the workplace, in the community, uni etc. Surely children raised in the AP style will not be used to this and are in for a shock when they cannot do as they please without consequences e.g you cannot be rude to someone without them taking offence and giving you a harsh word.
On this AP programme this boy was calling the dad a stupid idiot, the father seemed to take it in and encouraging the boy to get in touch with his feelings, this would not happen in the outside world where the boy would be told off quite rightly!
Surely one has a duty of care to the child, you mentioned your son not wanting to weare a coat, what if the weather was very cold, and he caught a cold or worse. I would hate to see my child in that state especially if i could have prevented it. What if your child refused to take their medication, would you support that decision, even if it meant that their life was in danger? As i mentioned already, we as parents have a duty of care to our children, as they are not able to make informed choices about themselves.
Well I have children who behave without me having to bully them into it! My eldest son now plays out with friends, when they start to do something wrong he comes home to tell me and doesn't join in. Obviously if my son didn't wear his coat...I'd take it with me and when realised he did need it he'd put it on. Having a big wrestling match and tears to get it on before going out would not of been as productive as him simply learning why he needed his coat. I do discpline, but just shouting no and sticking them on a step does not help them understand why they shouldn't do something. We explain why you don't do something, just not "because I say so".
Thanks MOOGHBOOBLES, will have a good look on those. I can totally understand the way you are bringing up your children. It is good for them to learn how to bahave themselves. My son is now almost two, so you can understand how things might be getting now. But the one thing I really hate abut a child who's behaviour is negative is the constant.... Finley.... F i n l e y ..... F I N L E Y........F I N L E Y !!!! He just needs to have a little encouragement to do something else a little less 'destructive' and more 'productive'. I am not a fan of the naughty step, or the stickers, as I don't want my children to need something in return for good behaviour, as they should be able to learn on their own how to behave. My son is very empathetic anyway, which helps. And since his sister as come along, he is really growing up. So fibgers crossed, he will turn out 'ok' LOL.
I guess that it is up to the parents how they see best. There are different parenting styles, it also depends on the child as well. I was watching this programme about Christianity and discipline. This couple were in a business making paddles which were like cricket bats to be used on children, which is wrong! That is bullying and torture. Another couple were also advocates of smacking especailly using implements on the child which I do not agree with. Don't do to the child what you would not like yourself. That just teaches the child that violence is acceptable.
I see parents in the street that hit the child over the head with their hands. There is nothing wrong with being firm, and setting boundaries, after all the world is constructed around rules of behaviour, what is acceptable and what is not.
I can agree there, the world does have rules, and boundaries, I do understand that children should learn that certain behaviour is not acceptable. We just have to find the right way to help them understand that. whatever way we do it as parents. At the end of the day, we all have to do what we feel is tight for out children. When it comes down to it, it is only you who has to deal with a screaming child on Tesco, or the tantrums on the floor of BHS. So deal with it however you best think your child understands and responds.
yes it totally agree with you, how can you reason with a screaming child in the middle of the shopping center. You have to do what you feel is right, you are living the experience after all not those guys who write these theories for others to follow.
Originally posted by pigletmania: The Continuum method advocates wearing the baby in a sling for the first six months of life, what if the baby like mine is particularly active and would much rather go on the floor to practice rolling and kicking their legs etc, isn't it restrictive for them. Does it not inhibit their motor development.
Hi Piglet,
A baby in a sling does move, they change position and move about, but they don't thrash and kick the way a baby lying on it's back on the floor does. However, being carried in a sling a lot doesn't restrict motor development, in fact it tends to help it. My second daughter was carried in a sling from birth, for many hours a day, when she wasn't in a sling she tended to be on my lap, and spent very little time on the floor or in a bouncer chair. However her head control was excellent and she was sitting unaided just after 4 months and has always liked "standing" and was able to weight bear from about 5 months.
I still carry her in the slong and she's 17 months, and my 4 year old has been in the sling recently when she was tired and didn't want to walk any more. You can carry a child in a sling for as long as you would pick them up and carry them on your hip. The sling featured on BUB was a complicated one, designed by the continuum concept mentor, I prefer a simple ring sling, like a huggababy, and you can pick these types up on bay for about £20, they are much easier to use, and very easy to breastfeed in.
As moogy says babies who are carried in slings are very social as they are up near eye level, and don't get the flat heads that babies who spend thier time in "neglect-o-matics" (swings and vibrating bouncers) or on the floor or in a moses basket or pram/car seat.
As for not disciplining, where did that come from?? Mine have boundries, we do discipline, we try not to shout and smack very, very rarely, sometimes using a star chart (so they can see that good behaviour is rewarded, and unacceptable behaviour results in loss of privilages) but mainly explaining why we ask them to do certain things. If they are doing something we don't want them to do we distract them rather than just expecting them to stop just because we have said so. In the long run it works very well, with no bullying or forcing them to do things with just "because I said so" as reasoning.
We use a mild form of EC, by putting them on a potty at nappy changes from the age of about 6 months, they learn what the potty is for without it being a huge deal, my eldest was out of (day time) nappies at 21 months and if my 17 month old has no nappy on she will go and sit on the potty and wee and sometimes poo, and we don't have many accidents at all, the way I see it, the more is done in the potty, the fewer nappies I have to wash!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Nestle boycotting,nappy washing, co-sleeping, baby wearing, home birthing, tandem nursing Momma
Routines are for dancers, shedules are for trains
Attachment Parenting; the radical notion that babies and children are people too!!
As for not disciplining, where did that come from??
I think you got us a bit cofused along the threads, just to let you know we were referring to attachment parenting, not CC. We were referring to a program in the US. Hope that clears a few things up.
Thanks for the information, it is always good to read of another perspective. A sling would have been a good idea for Katie as she had really bad colic as a young baby, and so we had to resort to what you call neglect o matics in other words a vibrating baby bouncer to calm her down. It was the only way at the time, that we could calm a screaming baby who was crying for 9 hours at a time. We are first time parents, and human after all!
I do not think that i would like to wear a baby in a sling 24/7, it is not for me. My nephew is a big baby, very heavy, he is 10months old and weighs about 27lb. Looks more like a 16month old, it would hurt my back have him on me all the time. It is a good idea in a tribal community where one lives with extended family, and good friends, but not really in a Western society, where a family may only consist of a single parent or a nuclear family with no extended family around to help.
I put Katie on a mat from a young age as she is was very active, I did not neglect her at all, if i left her to her own devices and ignored her than yes i would be. She learned to roll over and crawl at a very young age (before six months), and was starting holding her head up before a month. She could lie down and roll and kick, and crawl all she wanted without being restricted with being on somebodies lap or worn in a sling. I found it difficult to hold her for long periods as she would rather be active. I think it worked wonders having the space in which to practise these things.
I am not suggesting that as a continuum mum you do not discipline your child, I was referring to this programme on TV a while back on AP in which this family did not discipline this boy when he was rude to his father. I guess it varies from family to family. I just could not allow that, what would happen in the big bad outside world if he did that, he would get a ticking of quite rightly!
I have one and its really good, it allows her to be active when i am in the kitchen cooking, but not to get in any danger, if i allowed her to crawl around.
Pigletmania - I have a baby walker too and have also had a swing, bouncy chair, play-gym, bouncy door thing etc - why, letting your baby try these thing is seen (by some) as neglect is beyond me.
My daugher loves her baby walker and her bouncy door thing. She also loves lying on the floor practising rolling and eating her feet!!
I agree Karen! To us average parents these things are really good, they are educational too. As long as the baby/child is happy then that is the main thing. I heard that it is good for a child to amuse themselves from time to time, you can't be interacting with them all of the time, we are not all supermums! They need time to develop their play skills.
I also find it a bit odd that an older child would require a sling. If they are old enough to walk, then they should walk. If they are tired, then take a break and rest!
What happens if a child has to be separated ie. go to school or college, then may be more clingy than the average child.
