Thanks Karen lol. I wonder what OG has to say about this. I don't bf(unable to, did try honest!), use disposable nappies, use neglect o matics), have a playpen my goodness what a case I am eh he he he!

Baby walkers are actually quite dangerous and responsible for a lot of accidents that injure babies... so just be careful!
I agree that swings, bouncers etc are useful, but everything in moderation.
In my opinion, parents who enjoy interacting loads with their babies can't go far wrong. I found it totally natural to 'neglect' everything else in my life and focus on my baby the majority of the time. However, some parents just aren't like that - I don't really think it's as a result of having swings, gyms, bouncers etc - they're just the type of parents who would give their baby less attention even if these things weren't available.
I think slings are smashing, and it seems logical and common sense that they have a really positive effect on babies. I didn't use one with my first child - I did have a look at some, (they seemed over complicated and fiddly) - but now I know more i will definitely have one in time for my new baby in March'08.
One thing I did use was a hippychic hip seat. I found this really quick to put on, and useful for lugging my rather weighty baby around. As far as shopping goes though, buggy's are fab and carry all your shopping(!) - but again it's about moderation - I wouldn't leave him in it for hours. Since my son turned two in July, I can honestly say I've only used a buggy a couple of times as he's keen to walk everywhere.
I do have one question that bothers me about slings - how do you manage to carry bay-in-sling plus a babybag full of nappies, wipes, vests, cardigans, breastpads, purees etc...etc?

pigletmania,

"I don't bf(unable to, did try honest!)"

pls don't apologise that bf didn't work out - no need to feel guilty!! But pls also try not to say you were "unable to" - too many mums hear this phrase far too often which has a really negative impact on their confidence before they even start trying!!

I'm honestly not trying to have a go at you - I know from lots of your past threads that you had a really hard time. But I think it would be better to say that you didn't get all the support you needed. Hope I'm not sounding like a 'militia'...

I agree with what you are saying there JONNY&BUMP I too didn't get the support that was needed to help with BF, had all the support been there from preofessionals and family things would have been far different.
And I wish the midvives and health visitors would not use words like failure to thrive and breast rejection, because I now know they don't exist!!!
Just made me feel worse at the time.

Thanks for all the advice! I am a first time mum and do find it hard at times, we are all human after all. I do sit down and have a cuppa therefore use these neglect o matics just to have a little time to myself where i can see her. I suffered from post natal depression, and found that i needed to have a little time where i was not constantly interacting and playing with her. I love Katie dearly and would never neglect her!

As with bf i guess part of it was the lack of support, but also my body let things down. Even with the regular pumping, my milk just went. I am currently looking for a sling on eby, i would like to have katie on me, not all the time but regularly!

With regards to bf, bad experiences should not prevent you from trying to bf again, I certainly would again, its the best you can do for your child after all! I will have formula on hand in case it is absolutely necessary, but will be better prepared second time round and know what to expect.

Pigletmania - that is an extremely wise idea - if you can bf then great! Second time round is always easier as you are older and wiser. I found this to be the case. First time round can be overwhelming. You seem to get conflicting advice all the time.

I bf much longer with my second child than the first. It was fantastic. I loved it but then she had to go on to formula.

But I never feel guilty or bad about any of the choices that I have made. As long as you are doing what you think is best for your child then you can't go far wrong!

Very true Karen999, its up to you in the end. There are different advice and as a new mum you do feel overwhelmed. Different people have differing parenting styles, and not all suit all people. Now i know what to expect it should be easier, however no two child are the same but at least i will be an old hand at it.

Hope all goes well pigletmania, will have to let us know.
x

Thank you will do. At the moment Kaitlyn is teething so is waking in the night several times and won't get to sleep, we just end up putting her in bed with us and she sleeps that way. Someone from work recommend Ashtons teething powder, is it good

quote:

Originally posted by karen999:
Continuum Momma - just out of interest would you classify a baby walker as a 'neglect-o-matic'?

Yes, especially as they are so dangerous they are banned in several countries around the world. A baby that gets carried in a sling doesn't need all these gadgets and doodahs. They have thier mother/carer for stimulation.

You cant have a baby strapped on you 24/7. What if i need to clean the kitchen or the bathroom, i do not want my baby breathing in dangerous fumes from the chemicals. Actually, katie really enjoys her walker, and is only in it for a short period with my supervision. Why should she be strapped onto me when she has the freedom to walk, crawl, exercise on the matt or in her playpen. I think that it is very restrictive for an older baby to be constantly on somebody for most of the time. If these walkers are so dangerous why do they sell them then! Just because you do not agree with them, does not make them wrong or make us bad parents.

I had a bouncer, walker etc when i was a baby, and i never held it against my mum, in fact we enjoy a very close and loving relationship, I did not once feel neglected at all! Everyone has different parenting styles, and I am afraid that the Continuum Concept is not for me, although I will invest in a sling so I can carry her some of the time.

If a child is strapped onto the parent for long periods of time, and are brought up in the AP way, do they become more clingy children and then adults!

Pigletmania :
Both my daughters were brought up in an AP way, it wasn't considered to be very usual then but I just followed my instincts rather than books.
My girls are now 16 and 13 and they're not clingy at all. My oldest has just arranged to go to America for 6 months as she'll be child-minding her niece and nephews for her aunt and uncle, she's managed this totally of her own accord and I am mightily proud of her for organising this without assistance.
My youngest is, unfortunately, very ill at the moment but is a confident and straight a's student when she is in school.
So, no they're not clingy or anything. They do have the teenage strops here and there but that's to be expected!

hi organgeboom, thanks for the insight, just wanted to know. There are different parenting styles and i guess its up to you what you do. I would love to get a sling for Katie so that i can have her on me sometimes, she already sleeps in our bed most of the time as its the only way she can get to sleep in the night at the moment. I do have peoiple telling me that i am making a rod for my own back, but its lovely having her in bed with us, helps the bonding. Only wish i was bf, making bottles in the cold winter months is a nuisience.

You don't starp your baby to you 24/7, they spend time on your lap and with other people. Once they are about 7-8 months they want to get down and explore, you don't keep them tied to you forever. You need to read the principles at least to understand what you are rubbishing, better still the book!
And my baby is perfectly safe in the bathroom with me when I am cleaning, as I don't use harsh fumigating chemicals in my house, but gentle (but just as effective) cleaning products, because I want my children to grow up in a non-toxic environment that is safe for them to crawl around in and doesn't give them asthma and burn thier skin. This is why I use cloth nappies too, as I don't want my babies delicate skin sitting in a sealed plastic and paper sac of chemicals and drying agents.

It is not my opinion tha baby walkers are bad, but the truth, if you read your "Red Book" you'll see that the NHS/DoH recommends you don't use them and Canada has banned them http://www.hc-sc.gc.ca/sr-sr/activ/consprod/baby-bebe_e.html .

I use Ecofriendly products too, but they not always affective so have to resort to more affective ones. Even so, I still would not like my child breathing in them, and i am afraid of slipping if i am mopping the floor.

I did start using cloth nappies for 5 months, as i have severe eczema i resort to disposable nappies that are made from biodegradable materials, and use biodegradable nappy sacks and wipes too, much better on my poor chapped hands.

As i have mentioned i would like to invest in a sling, but not to wear all of the time, as my baby is older 8 months this would not be practicle anyway.

I would also like to start using a sling for my daughter, but as she is 4 months, alot of people are telling me she won't benifit from it now, and that she will become too used to being held all the time. But that's the point. I think the people in my close family/friends are out of touch with what a baby needs.
I am not sure what to do because whenever my daughter is fretful or unhappy and I have done something against mum in laws advice... I get an 'I told you so speech'!!!

Hi Hysteria

I know the feeling! I am currently looking at the hugababy sling as recommended by one of the ladies on this thread on e bay. You can get them at a really good price. My baby is 8 months old, but will try it never the less. I get the speeches from people about having our baby in our room still, and having her in our bed! You have to do what you feel is right and ignore other people. just say yes and do what you feel you should do!

Hi - I would say it is certainly not too late to get a sling for either of you - I got one about 6 weeks ago after watching BUB - I got the one from the closeparent.com which is Claire Scotts website - I have to say it is brilliant - my baby is now 8 months and 23lb but it is so comfortable and adaptable as well - I am not sure but I think the hugababy one means the baby sits on your hip which is not so good for your back? The close one sits on front and is veyr good as you have both hands free to do loads of stuff. Mym baby loves it - I carry him for about 2-3 hours a day and he sleeps a lot better because of it. It has also increased my milk supply. We get loads of comments when we are out - people think it is brilliant in the main (one woman told me I looked ridiculous!! - do I care?!) It is also great if you have any baby weight to lose - a great workout - I have lost half a stone in four weeks without even trying!

Don;t worry about what anyone else says - do what feels right to you - it is your baby. Everyone is full of advice but you know best. If you worry about trying to please everyone else all the time then you will never do it.
Have a good day x

Thanks to both of you, I do need a sling that is going to spread the weight evenly as I am just under 6ft and don't want back strain.
I want her to feel close to me as i'm sure one the reasons for her becoming more fretful is that she is craving some pyhisical contact. I have her in a 4 way carrier, but it's not quite as close and comfortable as i'd like. Also, by the time I have done all the velcro and clips, she want's to come out. I don't think she likes it at all. I think they are better for older babies to use on your back.
I will sell it on e bay, just so it gets some use rather than going back in the box.
My dauhgter hardly sleeps in the day, half of the reason for that is my son toddeling and screaming about the place. I'm not going to shush him as he is at an important part of his development so if he want's to make loads of noise.... fair enough. I know that if she is in a sling, she will sleep no matter what goes on, but when he is thrusting past the moses basket, he scares her half to death as well as wakes her up.
I won't put her in another room as I have never put any of them anywhere I can't see them to sleep until they were at least six months, and my son still sleeps wherever he falls asleep in the day. (even face down on the floor) But I do have loads of floor cushions for him to sleep on.
I'd like a sling that is versatile, I have been looking on e bay, but unless I know how they work, and how people have gpt on with them, I won't buy one.
Thanks everyone.

Sorry I have to correct myself - the Huggababy is not just a hip carrier - it appears very versatile. It looks similar to the close baby one in that it is a ring sling.

Mother in laws are the worst for advice I think! I have been lucky with mine but they can be awful! I would go with your own feelings - you have no-one to answer to but yourself and your baby/partner. The in laws have had their turn - it is yours now with your baby. Have fun x

Thanks Lou A, I have had a look at the carriers and will definatly keep that one in mind, it looks very soft and comfortable.