ts my best friends nan's anniversary of her death on 28th Nov and i know its going to be really difficult for her and i was just wondering if anyone has any suggestions about what i could do to help apart from being there for her. also on the 29th its my nans birthday but she is in a nursing home with dementia and that really upsets me so i don't really like talking about it because my nan is alive but it is hard because she isn't like she used to be.

please help sorry to be a bit depressing

Not knowing you friend it's hard to say whats best, I've had quite a few family members that's died so from my experience i'd say tell your friend that you'll be there for her and ask her if there's anything she'd like to do on the 28th. If she doesn't want to talk about it, if she hasn't quite come to terms with it all just yet just be there for her and treat it like any other day, she'll come to terms in her own time but just you being with her and acting normal will help. If she does want to talk just listen.
What ever you do don't say anything about her nan having a 'good innings' or anything along that line as no matter how old people are when they die close family never think they've lived long enough.

I'm sorry to hear about your nan, when somebody we love developes an illness like dementia it's very hard to handle the change in them, but as you'll know it's something you'll need to come to terms with. I can't say alot on this subject as i've never had to deal with it before so i'll just say i feel for you and hope you find the strength to handle the situation.

suggest planting a tree in memory of the past on loved one or something like that