Ok, not to have TOO much of a go at the famlies that appear on Supernanny as I realise they do post here too...but...

It seems to me that one thing that these families have in common is that they have renounced the use of smacking.

Now my mum and dad certainly didn't beat us kids up all the time, but if we did do something naughty then the ulitmate punishment would be a sore bum. My folks were no different than any other parents in the 70's I think.

Man, I've got to say, some of these kids..I'm just thinking .. for crying out loud, smack that child!

Well, I don't have any kids (yet) and I don't know how I will feel when I do, but I do know if I had called my mum a 'bitch' she would have leathered me. Infact I can't even begin to think of all the things that would have stopped me from doing that - I would probably be scared that mum was going to sell me to the circus or something

Anyway - a dam good hiding - works every time

i was smacked when i was naughty, however my brothers didnt get smacked at all and we are all normal and it didnt do me any harm

i dont disagree with smacking sometimes i watch supernanny and think "why dont they just smack his bum?" but you dont need to smack a child to disiplin them when i have children i dont think i will smack them noooo the naughty step seems to work much better

naff off sado, errrr read it - i said you dont need to smack - but its not up to me to tell other people how to bring up their children- so if they want to smack up to them - IDIOT

smacking isn't cruel unless you are beating the child up

makeo, your first comment to natfink and Roztov was out of order, neither of them want to hurt kids in anyway but you think they don't derserve them, so who does deserve kids? someone who will beat them! you seem young, i would suggest you read peoples post properly before you make nasty comments

The only thing that smacking teaches a child is that it's OK to hit people.

so some one who'll smack a childs bottom doesn't deserve kids? that's about every parent then.

makeo taken out of context - read it

quote:

Originally posted by natfink:
sometimes i watch supernanny and think "why dont they just smack his bum?" but you dont need to smack a child to disiplin them :

i was upset because you made a spiteful and hurtful comment which was totally out of order - you didnt even have the decency to explain why you said it

i suspect you are a spotty teenager with nothing better to do than troll around the forums

so you are going to purposefully misunderstand what i say just to make a point makeo? well done, i never said to hit the child for no reason, if you are at the stage where you are hitting your child everyday for no reason seek help! all that i'm suggesting is that if the child needs a slapped arse then do it. The child will not suffer mentally for it.

just to responed to judyc, hello i've not met you *waves* i was smacked as a child and it hasn't left me with the idea that hitting people is ok, i guess everyones different though and some kids will grow up thinking hittings the norm, i would assume that would mainly be the kids who grow up being hit for no real reasons. The only time i would hit anyone now is if they attacked me first.

quote:

Originally posted by kitten6000:
if the child needs a slapped arse then do it.

Hi kitten6000, So do you think it's OK to hit people or don't you? You seem to contradict yourself.

Children copy their parents and learn behaviour from them. Also, we are so much bigger and stronger than our children. If we really want to hit someone, we should pick on someone our own size. Personally I don't think a child ever 'needs a slapped arse'. Just out of interest, what do you really consider to be 'real reasons' for hitting a defenceless child? As a mother I would do anything in my power to prevent my son feeling physical pain. I can't imagine ever deliberately inflicting pain on him.

sorry, to clear up confusion i think hitting people, as in punching, and slapping a childs arse are two different things and two very different types of pain, if you've ever been punched then you know what i mean, i didn't mean to contradict myself just didn't make myself clear, I also want to clear up that when i say child i'm not meaning a toddler. I wouldn't punch a child, that to me is abuse, i would slap a childs bottom as having had it done i know it didn't harm me in anyway, I think you're thinking i mean to let loose on the child but i don't. I'm not talking about putting any force behind the slap or doing it in a rage.
You said if we really want to hit someone we should pick on someone are own size! I think if i ever really wanted to hit people i'd seek help, i'm not on about using a child as an outlet for personal anger, you are right children learn from there parents and what i learned from being slapped is not todo bad things, it's something reserved for really bad occasions when it's beyond a simple telling off then normally the idea of it is enough to make most children stop and think.
You asked what i'd consider to be 'real reasons' for hitting a defenceless child? when the childs not listened or taken any notice of anything said to them, i mean it as a last resort because you can't be at a stale mate with your child you need the child to know you're incharge or that is when trouble can really start. Yes in todays namby pamby world it seems barbaric but are you trying to tell me that generations of parents are all wrong, did all there children grow up to be slightly wrong in the head? No
For some hitting is right and for some it's wrong.
How olds your little boy? do you go in any other forum judy? there's some good forums on here.

quote:

Originally posted by makeo:
1 ) lol sorry kitten #
2) to natfink you say that you dont need to hit but imply you would anyway
3) i'm also not spotty natfink and thats a laugh since ive only ever had one spot in my life
4) kitten even though it would not scar them for a once every few months hit take note from supernanny it is not a neccaserry hit . and also not everyone does hitif they did they'd be a whole lot more kids in care .
5) if you read my previous post 20-11-05 you'll see i'm utterly correct natfink etcetera

*yawns*

quote:

Originally posted by kitten6000:

How olds your little boy? do you go in any other forum judy? there's some good forums on here.

I have contributed to some other forums here, mainly about tv programmes.
My little boy is 2 and I have never smacked him. I am a teacher and I'm not allowed to smack the kids at school. I always think that if I can discipline the little horrors at school without resorting to smacking, I'm not going to start hitting my darling little angel.

cool i wasn't suggesting that all kids need hitting at all, just if one does parents should be able to if they feel it's right, without having to worry about a visit from the social. I usually hang out in the comminity forums or games, good way to pass time if you're bored.

theres nothing wrong with children getting a tap on the back of their hand or smacking children for being naughty.
if you want proof just look at the teenagers running riot everywhere who have never been disiplined in anyway.whos parents dont give a damn.
i was rarely smacked when i was little but i knew if i was good i wouldnt get smacked.
my mother told me she and her brother used to get the belt or boiler stick and slippers etc when they were bad they are very sensible adults with great parenting skills so i dont think this harmed them in anyway.

i have a friend who hits her kids round their heads nearly everyday which i do not agree with.my children only get smacked when they deserve it and then its only a light tap on the back of their hand.
at the end of the day as long as there is no beating then parents should be able to raise their kids the way they want to!

btw they should bring back the cane at schools kids today are so mollycoddled its ridiculus(sp)

quote:

Originally posted by bexxa:
theres nothing wrong with children getting a tap on the back of their hand or smacking children for being naughty.
if you want proof just look at the teenagers running riot everywhere who have never been disiplined in anyway.whos parents dont give a damn.

I don't quite follow your logic there. How does the behaviour of children who are not disciplined and whose parents don't give a damn prove anything about the effects of smacking?

Do you think that a reluctance to smack your child means you don't give a damn? I think the opposite is true. There are many ways to teach good behaviour to a child that don't involve smacking.

Do you think all children who are not smacked will behave badly? As I have said before, I've never hit my son and he is one of the best behaved 2-year-olds I've ever met. Whenever I leave him with a friend they always tell me that he has behaved beautifully and can come any time.

I see a lot of children with their parents in town or at the supermarket and it seems to be the ones with parents who are quick to shout or smack who behave the worst. Those with calm parents who treat them with respect and talk to them calmly are the ones who behave well.

We need to teach by example and behave in the same way we want our kids to behave. This means treating the people around us - our children included - with respect and consideration.

my point was that the generation of children who were smacked seem more well rounded, sensible and have excellent behaviour and respect for other people where as nowadays with all the molly coddling kids get these days and the government who says you shouldnt do this and you shouldnt do that with your own kids,most of kids are hellraisers.

no i dont think all children who are not smacked will behave badly.and i believe parents should have a right to choose wether or not to smack their children.

i am pleased your son doesnt need to be smacked he obviously is a good boy who listens to his mom.
but there are children who do not take notice of what there parents say then what are parents supposed to do.

take for instance my 3 year old daughter who ran off accross a very busy car park the other day then when i told her off and said what couldve happened to her she laughed in my face she had a smack on her bum (only a tap as ive already said i dont hit i tap)she apologised straight away and has held the pram ever since.

my children have brilliant manners and they respect other people.my 9 year old is the best behaved child i have ever known so a little tap obviously never did her any damage.as i said it should be up to the parents to decide how to disipline their own children.

i can understand your point judy and i respect your opinion but nothing will sway me from my own opinion on smacking

i usually find its the kids whos moms are goingoooh yes sweetheart you can have the chocolates, yes you can have a new toy, yes you can be queen of england darling you know spoilt brats.

i think you'll find the mothers are usually shouting because the kids are playing up not the other way around.if kids are well behaved theres no need to shout.

quote:

Originally posted by bexxa:
i usually find its the kids whos moms are goingoooh yes sweetheart you can have the chocolates, yes you can have a new toy, yes you can be queen of england darling you know spoilt brats.

.

Yes, this is a good point, and I think this is much more relevant than the smacking or not smacking factor when you talk about the difference between kids today and previous generations. When I was a kid, if I wanted a new toy I either saved up my pocket money or waited till my birthday or Christmas. Nowadays lots of parents just buy things all the time for their kids. And it would never have crossed my mind to demand something in the supermarket because it was my mum who decided what to buy.

But I think it is the parents you describe here who are more likely to smack their children because the kids are so used to getting what they want that they don't know that no means no. They just understand that smack means no.
So you get situations, like on supernanny where the kids are used to ruling the home, deciding what to eat and when, what time to go to bed, how much TV to watch etc, and when the parents finally see what's happening the only resort left to them is to give the kids "a damn good thrashing" or to call in Supernanny.

If these children had had some discipline (not smacking) from the start they would not need smacking. For example, I recently bought a rather expensive printer/fax and I didn't want my son to break it. Of course as soon as he saw it he wanted to press all the buttons. This is not naughtiness but normal 2-year-old curiosity. So I said to him, this is mummy's and daddy's and it's not a toy. Please don't touch it. Of course he did touch it but after a couple of times in the naughty corner he understood. Now he just points to the printer and says 'mummy's, daddy's.' and doesn't touch it. Of course I could have smacked his bottom a few times and it would probably have had the same effect eventually, but I think my way is more effective in the end because he understands why he mustn't touch it.

hi judy i like your thinking i really do and i wish i had your patience as ive said i honestly dont smack my children much and i must admit i dont like doing it but when im at the end of my tether i dont know what to try.

i did try the naughty step but because i have a baby i have to keep the door shut so i cant see what my daughter is up too.i tried the naughty corner but she wont stay no matter how many times i put her back.

i can truthfully say my kids have only been tapped on the bum once in the last 6 months.
they are learning to behave and i am learning how to control them without smacking.

thankyou for giving me your experiences with your son sometimes when i explain that they cant do something they understand but other times it goes in one ear and out the other.i know this is what kids do but it can be frustrating at times.im going to keep trying with them though because i really dont want to smack them wish me luck.

if ever hit anyone as a child id get a good smack and basicly you connect that if you do good things good things happen to you if you do bad things such as hitting people bad things happen to you such as getting a smack off your parents i would never dream of hitting someone unless they attacked me so i guess you can say smacking never hurt me but made me a better person.