hi
i have a 5 year old daughter who will not eat.
we have given her every choice under the sun.
we have tried, bribes, treats,naughty step,leaving her at the table,taking it away and letting her have nothing,
shes the same with drinks awell,
shes got worse as she has got older.and would go without food and drink for days if we left it to her.
every meal of everyday is the same.nothing but a battle to get her to eat and drink.
this is the first time on here so not really sure what im doing.
she,s about 3st at the most.we have been to the doctors and health visitors.they said give her 20 mins to eat it and take it away.it takes her 1hr to eat half a tin of soup.so she would eat nothing.
with her just strating school and the time limits at dinner time so far she has not eaten anything at school.
so if im posting this in the right place.and there is someone out there with some good advice.
please let us know

This is just my own thought, but why not try getting her involved in choosing and preparing the food? If she helps make it (simple stuff like stirring sauces, fetching ingredients, even just setting the table), she may be more keen to eat it. Especially if you praise the delicious sauce that she made etc. And if she won't eat it, try asking if you can have her food, as it's so yummy. That way, if she is just being contrary, she'll want to have the food so you can't! Also, show her you enjoy eating, try to make dinnertime a fun time rather than a battle.

Good luck!

hi we have a five year old girl who also wont eat. Up untill today the only things that she would eat was smooth untextured choc,shreddies[but only on a school day],wotsits hulahoops and cup of tea with cookies,but i was looking over the various advice through super nanny site and came across "snack box".It said to put the favorite sncks that yor chuild eats all into this box and tell the child that they can only have one if they eat somthing.so ive tried it today and my daughter sat with us at the dinner table for the first time ever and ate 2 carrots!!! A major mile stone in our house and for eating them she got her fav cup of tea and cookies! Hopefully things will only continue to get better.I recomend you try this as weve gone through 5 years of hell,screaming and shouting and crying and 2 little carrots have made us want to jump for joy!!!

iam mum to a daughter of 14yrs.through out her years she has been a poor eater.like the earlyer person in the thread we tryed everything to get our daughter to eat.i have spoken to many doctors and dietitions about the very things you have brought up in your post.as i said ...my daughter is just turned 14 and still is only 4 and 1/2 stone.
she does eat now but minimaly unless she is on a growth spert(which unlike with other kids,you know when a growth spert is happening!!
now...i dont know if this is the same in your case but we was told that our daughter was using not eating as a tool(like something to have control over)i know you may think a three year old wouldnt have the knowlage to be able to do this but with our daughter it was that.she wouldnt eat and some times on holiday she would drop 2 dress sizes-i would be frantic with worry.
but the good news is that no child can stave themselvs and if you ignore(i know its hard)they will in the end come to you and ask for something.
also if they are eating of your plate kids feel under less stress to eat it all.
the next problem i had with my daughter was that she then decided to make something else to be in control of.
she now wont wear new clothes!!!!yes you heard it right-we sorted her eating habits at about 10yrs and she then decided she would not were any new clothes.
its a control thing......

Hi, I took my then 5 yr old to the docs who said is she going to the toilet (both) every day. If she is then there is nothing serious to worry about. More important was having a p rather than the other.

We were told to stop giving a choice. Put a meal in front of her, eat our own and when our meal was finished so was hers. We were then told to give her a pudding, not to withhold it as a punishment. To be fair she would always eat her pudding of yoghurt or whatever it was.

This went on for ages. We progressed to the making sandwich shapes not boring squares or triangles, I remember stars were quite popular (food cutters) and doing the same with mash etc where possible. And ensuring that she had plenty of playdates which involved other children eating. Buffet lunches are another way to go, the child can dish up what they want.

My daughter is now 8 and does not eat alot at all but shows willing - but more importantly she is healthy and not undernourished. Little and often.

Even if your child chose to eat sweets its better than nothing although fruit is just as sweet.

Well, at three stone she's obviously not overweight, but my 3 and a half year old only weighs two stone and she eats loads, so it doesn't sound as though she's at risk of being undernourished.

I think the problem is the pressure and stress of the situation, the more you push her to eat the more she doesn't want to.

If she weighs three stone she MUST be eating something, and if she wasn't drinking she would be seriously dehydrated by now. So I would say that it's probably not as bad as it seems, maybe you need to look at it with some perspective. You probably think that she's only okay because of the huge amount of cajoling you give her to make her eat, but thats not necessarily the case. If you ease up on the pressure you may find she eats willingly after a small period of adjustment.

Make sure the entire family sit down at the table together, switch off the TV and make sure there are no distractions, no one leaves the table until everyone is finished. If she doesn't want to eat what you've made then thats fine, but she should at least try it. Even if she only has one mouthfull she's done well, so praise her for it. Do NOT give her something else instead, or compensate for a missed or very small meal by giving snacks in between, otherwise she won't eat her next meal either.

NEVER, ever get angry with her, bribery and cross words will only enforce the feeling that food is an unpleasant experience rather than the yummy fun it should be.

Watch out for the unconcious emotions you are sending out via body language also, if she sees you are worried, she will worry and no one feels like eating much when they are stressed and worried.

Serve much smaller portions so that after a few mouthfulls she has emptied her plate, then you can reward her for finishing it all. You never know she may even ask for some more, which has to be more positive than trying to force a large meal upon her.

You could try giving her a sticker for every different type of food she tries or every plate/bowl she empties (small portions to begin with, you can increase the amount once she's a bit more enthusiastic about food in general).

As my mother says, you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar, by which I mean the more pleasant you make mealtimes, the more she will WANT to eat.

Good luck with it!