I would also just like to comment on the BF discussion too if that's ok?

I DID feel bullied by midwives etc during my first pregnancy and I ended up saying I was going to BF just to keep them off my back (even though I had no intention of trying it)

By my 2nd pregnancy, I found that it wasn't as much of an issue and was firm with my midwife that I would be bottle feeding!

I don't think any mother should be judged on their decision whether or not to BF. I do think it is more important that kids are well looked after, healthy, happy and brought up in a safe, loving environment and if a good mum decides not to BF then so be it!

quote:

Originally posted by Nickycky:

On the "on demand" thing - I understand your logic, but actually the more often you feed, the MORE milk you have (supply and demand)- if you are feeding every half hour, your milk will replenish that quickly if you give your body a chance to get used to it - honestly! The half hourly feeds shouldn't last much more than a few weeks, as there is more milk there, so as the baby's stomach grows, they can take more milk which will last longer. If a baby is still feeding that frequently after a few months - there is likely to be a problem that needs looking at. I found that within a couple of months, the demands were far enough apart to have become a routine - or shall I say pattern? - which I then used as a guide, telling me when he was likely to be hungry, rather than shoving my boob in his mouth every time he cried (which I did at first!) I kinda think of feeding on demand more as a way into a baby-led, flexible routine - allowing for individual hunger patterns and growth spurts, unlike a rigid 4 hourly feed cycle.

Sorry it's taken me a while to get back to this, but I couldn't let this pass without adding my view on the above statement.

I disagree slightly with this, if you have a period of say 15 minutes in between feeds (and believe me I know a mother who had this misfortune!)then the breast has only 15 minutes in which to make more milk. If you take someone who has a three hour gap in between feeds they will make much more milk in that time than the mother who is feeding every 15 minutes.

What tends to happen is that because the breast is less full at feed time, the baby is hungry again sooner thus perpetuating the cycle of 15 minute feeds.

Both women may make exactly the same amount of milk in one day, but one women will spend much more time feeding, may feel frustrated more because of the lack of sleep and inoppoortunity to get some time to herself and possibly have much more tender breasts than the other.

It's not about quantity of milk, but the frequency of feeds and what is kinder to both mother and baby.

quote:

Originally posted by happyland:
Im actually looking for some advice... I'm not sure what or who's routines are being discussed here but I am am having a problem with my 12 month old son!

He has slept all night from the age of 6 weeks (still had a midnight feed) He has been sleeping for months now from 7pm until 7am but in our room. I know it is probably my own fault for keeping him beside us for so long but he will not sleep all night in his own room now..

He gets a bottle of milk at 7pm and normally falls asleep on it. I carry him through to his cot and he sleeps for maybe an hour or two and the only way I can get him back to sleep is put him in his buggy and rock him. It's then back to the cot and we go to bed too.. We're normally only in bed for a short while before he starts crying again. We were going through the buggy etc routine for nights but ended up so exhausted that we give in to him now and he ends up in our room.

Has anyone got any advice on how I can get baby to sleep all night in his own room..

I didn't have any problems like this with my first child but I think I had a bit more time and patience with her. I never rocked her pram or sang to her at sleep time and I literally used to put her in cot, kiss and get out! She used to sing and babble for a short while and that would be it! If we heard her awake during the night, we would leave her and she would go away back to sleep on her own! I don't think we realised how lucky we were!

Any advice would be appreciated!

I'm sorry your having so many sleepless nights at the moment. I do think perhaps you should have moved him earlier, but hey, we've all made that mistake at some point or another. What you have to do now is figure out a way of settling him into his bedtime routine.

I'd suggest a few changes, if you don't already do the bath, story, bed routine, it really does help. The other thing I'd suggest is really bigging up the fact that sleeping in your own bed is a milestone in becoming a big grown-up boy.

Another thing you could try is getting him something for the bedroom that you know he will love, like a duvet cover, night light or even a mural or picture on the wall of his favourate character. Reward charts can also help.

Basically there is no easy solution, but I would definately stop with the pushing in the buggy thing. The less you pander to him, the more he reacts right? Well the more you pander to him the more you delay him learning the lesson that he has to sleep in his own bed. Sometimes you just have to ride the rough patch, even though it's so very difficult. I know at the time you'd do anything to get him back to sleep, but really your making it worse in the long run by giving in to him. (That sounds terrible doesn't it, he's not doing it to be bad, he's just used to sleeping with you!)

The other thing I'd like to say is that you should discuss this with him in a simplified way, it's amazing just how much they understand and how much they WANT to do the right thing, even at his age. An explanation of why he needs to sleep in his own room and a reassurance that your still very close by can work wonders.

I'm not an expert, by any means, but I truly hope that I've been of some help to you.

can someone help me im new to this and want to post a question as in need of help