can anyone help me as im starting to train my son and dont know where to start

how old is your son?

To be honest I bypassed the potty and went straight to the toilet. Found this much easier.

My son is not at the potty training stage yet, I don't think anyway.

He is 2 (only just), but doesn't care about a wet/soiled nappy. I ask him what he's doen and he has no idea. I was told to buy some pants and explain they are big boy pants and show him that's what daddy wears. And now and again, just to keep explaining this, every few weeks or so. Hopefully in time when he feels he is ready, and understands what they are for, he will ask to wear them.

I don' see the need to 'potty train' a child as is can be a lot of hard work, and very upsetting for a child if they are not ready.

I work at a private nursery and have had a lot of children going through 'potty training' and if they are not ready, it is simply not worth it. I am no expert and cannot say when a child is ready.

Another peice of advice I was given was that if a child can walk up stairs/steps, one step at a time, then they are supposed to have the co-ordination between brain and lower body in order to be able to have bladder and bowel control.

Also the time of year can play a big part. The spring/summer is the best time for a child to be wearing pants as that is pretty much all they need on along with a t shirt, or a dress. No need for lots of washing trousers and tights. But if your child really is ready for pants then 'accidents' are not likely to occur, unless the child is ill. The more understanding they are and more able to control their 'movements' the better it is for their self asteem. There is nothing worse than messing yourself several times a day to knock your confidence.

My son was 2 when his dad made him sit on the potty and he made him sit there for 10 minutes and he did nothing, i was not there at the time, i am a single mother, and i went mad, and that put him off it completely, it scared him so much, he would not go near a potty, he would sit on the toilet yes, but not poo, he still wanted a nappy on, so i put nappies on him, and when he was 3 he done it all by himself, do not rush them, i was mad what his dad done and this did scare him so much, he's been fine ever since, he done it in his own time, he's 6 now and has never had a wet bed or any accidents since he was 3.

A perfect example of pushing a child when they are not ready Tina.

Exactly, I know, he wouldnt go near a potty, had one in the house, the chair ones that make noises as well, terrified of it, I was not happy at all with his dad, and all worked out fine in the end, never push a child into anything, when they are ready they will do it. :

thanks for your tips my son is going to be three in may but needs to be trained before he starts nursery in september have decided that im going to wait till the weather gets warmer before i start

My son was 3 in the July and started school nursery in Sept and he had only just started potty training, loads were the same, some even soiled their clothes, they are use to it, they did not mind at all, they have little toilets in the nursery that my son went to in the class as it was a nursery part of the school and they took them and he was fine, although at night he still wore nappies until he was sure he did not want to wear one and he told me, do not worry too much about the nursery, they will be use to it if your son is not properly potty trained.

Potty training before school is a good idea, but even at 3 years of age some children just don't get it. Children don't have to be potty trained before school, some people thought it was a legal requirement but it's not. However, if there a a dozen or so children starting school nursery who are still not toilet trained the it is a lot of hard work for the teacher, who physically cannot teach the other children while having to change nappies. That is not what they are there for, or the Nursery staff. So it does cause a lot of problems in the classroom. This is usually sorted out within the forst term though.... as the child doesn't like beinf in wet clothes, and parents don't like having bundles of soiled clothes to take home as it is not up to the school to wash them, even if they are school spare clothes.
Also, some schools have a policy in place where if a child is continually soiling there clothes, they have to have a family member to come and change them as it is a continuous disruption in the classroom.

The school nursery my son was at did not accept children in nappies, even at 3, they had to wear pants, so obviously the pants were soiled, but they did not mind at all, it was only a few that did soil for a short while, I do not know of any school that accepts children with nappies, my childs school certainly do not at the age of 4 when they start school, my son was in the nursery class part of the school and as I said they expected some children not to be properly potty trianed and thus the toilets in the classroom and the teachers my son had, smiled and laughed and did not think it caused a problem in the classroom, it must be different rules for different areas of britain and different schools then, but each to their own, I have never come across family members being asked to come in and change them, not the nursery classroom and no child was in nappies at 4, the school would not allow this, even at 4 as I said previously.

i had my sons name down for the local pre school as they take them from two years old but they only accept children who are toilettrained so he couldnt get a place which i dont think its fair as my son has missed out on this experiance.

I don't think any child hasto be potty trained when they start school no matter what their age is. Legally they have to attend school by their fifth birthday, so most children are trained by then anyway, but before that age they do not have to be there, I think that is where the problem with children messing themselves in nursery school arrises. Private nursery or pre-school classes are a tottaly different story as they are not actually part of the schools system and have their own policies in place.

There are no actual rules about being toilet trained, it is simply what policy is in place at which school.

I am not sure weather it is legal for a school to turn away a child who is still in nappies, especially as there might be more reasons for them not being trained.

As for the parents coming to change them, this was mostly in the situation where the child would soil themselves on a reagular basis. For whatever the reason, there is not always the staff around to be changin childrens nappies for months into the school year. In these situations the child was soon trained asa It was usually a lack of co operation with the parents, and they were not actually being toilet trained.

Many schools i'm sure have many different reasons for the way they do things. I know most schools have to sign a slip to say they allow their child to have their nappy changed. I suppose this is what the world has come to.

I will add, I am no expert on these subjects as I work in the private sector.