I have two young children and my husbands parents are not bothered about their grandchildren at all. They never interact with them....today he popped in for 5 mins and my daughter was so exctited to see him and she wanted to show him something and he just blanked her and carried on talking crap.

My daughter especially really wants her grandad to take an interest and i have stopped going to see them as often as it upsets me. I find it hard being with them as they are so wrapped up in their own lives. They never come to see the kids and on birthdays they send £5 in a card in the post.

Do I express how i feel about it? If i do they may well try harder but they might not really want to? I feel i might burst in to tears confronting them and i do not want to make a scene. They live only 5 mins away from our house. My mother is a devoted Nanny and she adores the children and they adore her. so at least thats a positive.

Please give me your advice...should i say anything or just leave it????? xxx

could your husband not say anything to them , it might come across better that way, at least they have a loving Nanny ( she sounds lovely )

hope it gets sorted for you

Your mam sounds lovely, that's all they need. As long as you and your hubby give them kisses and cuddles they'll be happy children

randomly arange days for them to take kids out .

say oo , lets go to the beach .

My husband thinks its a waste of time saying anything...but if they don't know how we feel nothing will get sorted!!

The have never spend one second alone with the children and i wouldn't trust them either. My son and sometimes my daughter are still nervous around them...so i feel they are not 100% comfortable. My mother-in-law was saying to me once that she is bored. I said why don't you have Jodie for an hour a week to break it up.....she said "NO THANKS". How hurtful is that!!

I know if i were a grandparent i would want to be in their lives. They are missing out on so much and they haven't a clue. I never had a grandad as he died when i was 6 months. So i feel my kids COULD have one but they are not interested.

SHAME !!!! xx

My nan on my mum's side was a big part of my life until she died when i was 11. My grandparents on my dad's side couldn't have cared less. I was their 2nd granddaughter coming 3 months after my cousin who they doted on. But my dad said they weren't interested in him or his brother either, only his sister (mother to my cousin).

My feelings for them were a reflection of there feelings for me. To this day I miss my nan, and always will, but hardly even think about my dad's parents.

You get what you give. If they are not interested in what is going on, try not to let it get to you and foster the relationship with Nanny who sounds fab!

some people think that the second kids are 16 thats it, so when there grandchildren come along they dont want to know.

i hardly ever saw my grandparents, and they werent bothered about me but they were bothered about my brother and sister.

now my mum and dad are great and so are my partners mum but his dad and evil piece of (well i wont say it). and they have my kids at the weekend.

now my grandma who hates me and is always slagging me off to my own sister - just cause my partner had some time off work because he cut his hand (between his fingers down to the palm) very badly and was in and out of hospital having operations and being treated for blood infections. and due to this we paid our phone bill a little late. can you believe she was slagging me off for this??? she wants to see my children. now i allow my mum and dad to take them up but i dont go.

myself, i cant wait for the grandchildren to come along

I have a similar problem with my own mother. It's not as harsh as yours but although she is good to my kids when it comes to gifts and money, she never has them over to stay. I feel that staying withyour grandparents is a part of your childhood and to me my kids are missing out. It would be fair enough if it was somthing my mum didn't believe in but she used to pack my brother and I off every other weekend. I tried talking to her, she said she'd make more of an effort but nothing changed.

Hi Redlmw!
I could shake your husbands parents! I wish I lived closer to my grandchildren, they don't know how lucky they are! They are the ones losing out though and one day they will realize this. Don't bother with them I say!

Id say they dont deserve the grandchildren.You would be worried sick if they did take them for a time.You dont want your most tresured items being looked after by uncaring people.You have a great mum for them to love.If they dont want to be part of the family then treat them likewise. good luck.

well i know what u mean here hun. my side of the family all bother with my babies but my partners mum does not care much about them, this upsets me becauuse when i was pregnant with them she paid loads of interest in me even took me on long walks to try and start my labour off. she is a alcoholic and prefers to go out drinkin, although her daughter my partners sister is at our hse frm thursday till tuesday as she never has any food in the hse so i really dont care much for her. my partner and i even had to go and pick her up last week as she was drun k and fighting with her boyfriend but at the end of the day she is the one loosing out not us.

My husband's mother doesn't give a toss either. When we have to leave my son with her, she just gets my husband's brother to give my son a bath and feed him because she can't be bothered. And we don't leave my son with her that often. It's probably once or twice a year for a day or two. Hardly a disaster, is it?

As for birthdays... If we're at her house when it's my son's birthday, she'll give him some money. If not, forget it. She just pretends it's not happening.

What I find really irritating is how she pretends to my husband how much she loves our son. Once, my son was getting out of the car and he accidentally banged his head on the door. it wasn't anything really bad. Just a little bump. She called us the following day saying how she didn't sleep all night thinking about it and so on and I know she couldn't care less because when he is in her care, she doesn't even feed him properly. She just gets my husband's sis to take him out to McDonald's or gives him a sandwich 3 times a day. And she isn't losing any sleep over this.

I really understand how you feel because sometimes I could just slap my mother-in-law.

Well I am nana, and i love my 4 grandchildren ! I babysit at least twice a week and always look after them properly ! I had 5 of my own and think theres nothing more precious than your,e kids.
Sorry to those people that had bad experiences but wer,e not all the same XX

quote:

Originally posted by goddess:
Well I am nana, and i love my 4 grandchildren ! I babysit at least twice a week and always look after them properly ! I had 5 of my own and think theres nothing more precious than your,e kids.
Sorry to those people that had bad experiences but wer,e not all the same XX

i have a granddaughter and i cant wait for her to come in she is 18months old i love her to bits and there is another granddaughter on the way she will be treated as the first, some men do find it hard not all to show there feelings

It depends on the grandparents and life, i know that when my parents become grandparents they will be the very best Gparents.

sad as it is,but the grandparents are making it obvious they don't want to spend any time with their grandkids,but at least they send them b.day cards,and you can't force them to like them,just leave it as it is,it is their own fault and no one else's,if you make a issue out of it they might stop sending the cards,but at least your mum dotes on them that's something.

I remember my Grandad he used to love having his grand kids around god bless him he was without a doubt one of the nicest people I have ever had the honer of knowing and the fact he was my grandad makes it better

Hello, thank you for all your stories. I plucked up the courage and went the other day to see if i was imagining it all. But i wasn't. I feel disappointed in them as grandparents as if it were me in their shoes i would love it.

My children are very lucky to have such a wonderful Nana who sometimes doesn't feel up to much but always finds the energy for them. The other grandparents just sat in garden talking about themselves and not really interested that my baby girl is starting school in Sept.

I do find it hard to cope with them so i am just gonna stay away. When my daughter asks to see them then i will take her but i won't otherwise.

The joy of grandchildren is you can spoil them with love and attention and give them back whenever you want. xxxx

[quote]joy of grandchildren is you can spoil them with love and attention and give them back whenever you want. xxxx



This is so true and the way it should be sorry to hear about that.

I`m so sorry the visit didn`t go how you wanted it to and how it should have gone Redlmw but you have given it your best shot and no-one could say different, its their loss

When my Son and his girlfriend split up, I didnt get to see much of the devil child but my Son always saw him and to me that was the main thing at the time, even though things were abit "hard" between them but I went from looking after him and seeing him 3-4 times a week to next to nothing, it was heart breaking. I always said it was a hazzard of a Son having a child, at least you still see the Grandchildren if they are your Daughters but shes recently moved nearer to us and has popped up a few times to drop the devil child off for my Son and now I`ve gone back to having him a few times a week while she goes to the gym down the road from me and I couldn`t be more pleased. The times I wanted to stick my oar in when they split up and phone and ask to see him but didn`t want to make too much of it because if my Son knew just how devastated I was, it wouldn`t have helped things between them and now I`m so pleased I kept out of it because theres no hard feelings between us and we can be civil to each other and I get to see my Grandson

quote:

Originally posted by Redlmw:
I have two young children and my husbands parents are not bothered about their grandchildren at all. They never interact with them....today he popped in for 5 mins and my daughter was so exctited to see him and she wanted to show him something and he just blanked her and carried on talking crap.

My daughter especially really wants her grandad to take an interest and i have stopped going to see them as often as it upsets me. I find it hard being with them as they are so wrapped up in their own lives. They never come to see the kids and on birthdays they send £5 in a card in the post.

Do I express how i feel about it? If i do they may well try harder but they might not really want to? I feel i might burst in to tears confronting them and i do not want to make a scene. They live only 5 mins away from our house. My mother is a devoted Nanny and she adores the children and they adore her. so at least thats a positive.

Please give me your advice...should i say anything or just leave it????? xxx

Do they have any other grandchildren, if these are their only grandchildren, then it is so sad, but selfish of them to have this attitude. I would confront them and question their inability to communicate with they lovely grandchildren. Stop seeing them or allowing them to come to your home for some considerable time, only then will they realise and understnd what they are missing.
I have 3 grandsons, they are my world apart from my children, I see 2 of my grandchildren everyday, and could not bear to have it any different.
Be brave, confront them, be strong, and then pull away from them for a period of time, and see what happens. Talk to you husband, what were they like as parents, sometimes this follows on from their behaviour as parents, and it could be a problem from the past.