i am so cross after watching that programme. I am a health visitor and am disgusted that we allow women like that so called 1950's expert on to out screens! Her whole ideas are barbaric and pose a risk to babies and there families. The idea of not cuddling a baby when feeding them, and no cuddles in between what a load of rubbish. when are these new borns going to bond with there parents and where do they learn how to communicate if we shut them away and only see them every 4 hrs! The final straw was when she put the babe outside in the pram shut the door with not even a cat net etc on the pram! That woman should never be on tv again! I am livid!!!!!
Hi, I think it's excellent we had that 1950s on our screens, because it draws attention to this ridiculous train of thought and everyone can see it for what it is. I think the programme is brilliant and can't wait to see the results, although how anyone could choose to involve themselves in an experiment with that 1950s woman is beyond me. I wonder if they'll be able to stick with her throughout the filming.
We are a continuum/attachment family and have a 10month girl, Ellie. Yes, this style of parenting can be tough, but oh my goodness it is sooo worth the effort. We have a happy, contented, explorative, inquisitive, smiley baby who knows and trusts that her parents will provide exactly what she needs and wants. This is paramount in the first year of a baby's life. The benefits of this style of parenting are so far reaching and are for the long-term as well as short term.
The point is not to make an easy life for us as parents, or even specifically to have a baby who is happy 'just now' but really to lay the foundations for someone who will as an adult be able to devlop healthy relationships and have a good grasp of her own self-worth.
For us, just making a baby who is happy just now isnt the aim, but is part of it.
Our instincts are there for a reason and just as we trust ours, we trust Ellie's instincts too and so respond to her needs.
Miriam, Barry & Ellie ( still slung, still breast-fed and still sleeps with mum and dad and will keep doing so)
As a parent I would've sent her packing by the end of day one. Putting the kid out in the garden for 3 hours? "Babies have to be left alone to grow"? It's a small human being not a prize marrow!
I follow a mixture of Spock and the Continuum concept with my 10 month old son, Arthur. I don't carry him around in a sling (I had problems with my back) and he does take naps in a travel cot, but apart from that he's always been exclusively breastfed, sleeps with mum and dad in our bed and is NEVER NEVER left to cry.
Babies cry for a reason. ie something is wrong. Ignoring this not only teaches the child that mummy and daddy do not respond when you are trying to tell them you need something but could also be dangerous. I was particularly disgusted to hear the Truby King woman advising her family to leave their newborn upstairs to cry and have a glass of wine! How selfish! What if something had happened and the baby had had a fit or stopped breathing and they were unable to act as they were muzzy headed with wine?! You should NEVER drink alcohol when you have charge of a small baby or at least one of your should be sober in case of emergencies!!!
Thats child neglect and if anyone I knew did that or left their newborn in the garden for 3 hours with the back door shut I would be on the phone to Social Services.
Why do these selfish people have children if they don't want their precious lives "disrupted"??
as a friend of matt and vicky i want to say that mia thrived on fresh air and was not just abandoned in the garden for hours on end they took her for walks sepent time in the garden and kept a constent eye on her you all have to remember the programme was fillmed over 3mths and has to be edited to fill only 4 hrs mia is very healthy and has developed at an amazing rate
Originally posted by minni78: as a friend of matt and vicky i want to say that mia thrived on fresh air and was not just abandoned in the garden for hours on end they took her for walks sepent time in the garden and kept a constent eye on her you all have to remember the programme was fillmed over 3mths and has to be edited to fill only 4 hrs mia is very healthy and has developed at an amazing rate
Im afraid the long term effects will be a different story.
i just wanted to say how much i was looking forward to watching the programe as i am a first time mum of a 3 month old little boy and a nursery nurse but after watching last night i was very angry, how on earth could this programe be educational to parents with that 50's woman on it. by not allowing the baby any form of contact is only going to make the child grow up with no concept of compassion and as for putting them in the garden in the frezzing cold on their own is just child abuse in my eyes, if i ever saw someone do that i would personally call social sevices. i can understand the womans aim of her method but i know that there are a lot bettter ways of acheveing the required goal. it was no surprise to hear that she has no children herself and if she ever did i dont think she would be able to follow the method herself, i dont think she understands the bond a parent has with their child and how heart breaking it would be not to be able to have a small cuddle when they need comfort, she treats a newborn baby as a pet that you dont want anymore not as a tiny person who only needs love and comfort. if she was to walk in my house and tell me not to hold or comfort my son i would soon be telling her where the door is and to never return.
Originally posted by minni78: as a friend of matt and vicky i want to say that mia thrived on fresh air and was not just abandoned in the garden for hours on end they took her for walks sepent time in the garden and kept a constent eye on her you all have to remember the programme was fillmed over 3mths and has to be edited to fill only 4 hrs mia is very healthy and has developed at an amazing rate
You can achieve all this without cruelty, without leaving your crying baby alone, without training her this way, don't you know that the fact of birth for child is very, very traumatic experience, don't you know that, mother's smell & heart beating make baby happy and feel secure. I am sure that probably at the end, the program shows us that Ms Verit's method was brilliant, worked great but on what price. The price is not known yet, and believe me I would never ever give my baby to Child Minder with this kind of experience with her own baby. Now I am so scared that this kind of people are approved nannies I am thinking to stay with my baby longer than 9 moths maternity leave.....the baby is not a dog to be trained, to be shown 'who is the boss', she will learn all this sooner or later, all what she needs is love and patience from her parents. If you can not fit your baby in your life's schedule why you are having one????
I do my adaption of Continuum as I do have a pram in which my son spends a good couple of hours a day outside in having his naps and lunchtime sleep, but he also sleeps with us and spends a great deal of time in his slings. Babies do thrive with plenty of fresh air, I am glad I had a baby in the summer I don't think I would do this in the winter as much. Don't imagine her career as a childminder will be enhanced by taking part in such barbaric treatment of her own flesh and blood.
Ooooh Lady Midnight, I am a very good freind of Vicky and Matt and i have read what you thought on other forums, you do seem to have a bee in your bonnett dont you? by any chance were you REJECTED for this show? guess we will never know will we. Now as for Mia's mental health and well being (in case you are interested Lady Moonlight) she is well and very happy and content, she has not suffered at all and is well loved by her parents. As for having a glass of wine, they had one glass, now you may not be able to have a glass of wine to celebrate bringing your child home but they did, it did not in any way make them drunk and have been sober for 11 months so for lady moonlight quit pre judging parents on what you see on TV as they are both fantastic people with a lot of love for both there children where as you are just a sad little woman who enjoys nothing better than picking out other peoples faults so you wont have to lok at your own. xxx
Originally posted by smiggy001: Ooooh Lady Midnight, I am a very good freind of Vicky and Matt and i have read what you thought on other forums, you do seem to have a bee in your bonnett dont you? by any chance were you REJECTED for this show? guess we will never know will we. Now as for Mia's mental health and well being (in case you are interested Lady Moonlight) she is well and very happy and content, she has not suffered at all and is well loved by her parents. As for having a glass of wine, they had one glass, now you may not be able to have a glass of wine to celebrate bringing your child home but they did, it did not in any way make them drunk and have been sober for 11 months so for lady moonlight quit pre judging parents on what you see on TV as they are both fantastic people with a lot of love for both there children where as you are just a sad little woman who enjoys nothing better than picking out other peoples faults so you wont have to lok at your own. xxx
This method forces thje baby to be happy and content. They obvoiusly love the beautiful daughters but they wee forced by Claire to go agaisnt instict which was disturbing to watch.
a baby that doesnt cry does not necessarily equal a happy baby. Even if she smiles a lot this is because she has learnt that crying gets her no where - her parents wont respond to her when she needs them so better to smile and get some attention than cry and be neglected
Originally posted by minni78: as a friend of matt and vicky i want to say that mia thrived on fresh air and was not just abandoned in the garden for hours on end they took her for walks sepent time in the garden and kept a constent eye on her you all have to remember the programme was fillmed over 3mths and has to be edited to fill only 4 hrs mia is very healthy and has developed at an amazing rate
I like so many other viewers was appalled and upset by the contents of this programme. However I wonder if you have hit the nail on the head with the fact that the programme makers have condensed 3 months of filming into 4 hours of viewing, and have thereby selectively edited the material for maximum sensationalism and therefore provoke public debate around the programme.
My concern here is that if only "half the picture" is shown, then there is potential risk that Claire Verity's method could be taken at face value and implemented by some parents.
The NSPCC and similiar child welfare organisations have campaigned for years against the kind of treatment portrayed in this programme towards babies and children. I fear that through the possible irresponsible editing of this programme, there is a risk of advocating Claire Verity's method as a credible form of childcare, when not all the facts have been presented to the viewing public.
It all comes back to the issue of neglect. I would like to ask our resident child psychiatrist Fairy Dust where her children are whilst she is abasing other parents on the internet...
I would also like to respond to an earlier poster - nonikamal who called into question the child minder (who followed the 1950's method)ablity to do her job and care for children.
That she wanted to settle her baby into a routine so she could get back to work shows that she loves her job. I would certainly want a child of mine to be looked after by someone who is fully alert and has not been up all night looking after a baby. Tiredness is when accidents happen that could seriously harm a child.
I do not think that because someone has taken part in an experimental program means that they are not qualified to child mind - nor do I think that because they followed this method it means that they do not love their baby.
Minni78 states the truth of the case and as a close friend, must surely be in the position to know what really went on. It doesn't sound like Mia is an unhappy child!
Moo, I have never slated any perants, infact i felt extremely sorry for them. My son is been given his bath by his loving father and soon will be in his bed. All that I am saying is that it is not exactly the best peranting in the world to leave your newborn from day 1. Why have a baby if your job is more important then your own flesh and blood? And what is all this tiredness can cause accidents...so can alchohol! which they where drinking whilst their NEWBORN cried upstairs. Just becuase Mia may be a content child at the moment says nothing about her future attatchment development. She has learnt in a negletful way that she HAS to be content and crying gets no attention, so if shes ever in real danger what is she going to do to call her perants? laugh? scary.
Parenting methods are being presented which current neuroscientific research (brain scans, e.g. work of Allen Schore, Dr. Ruth Lanius - simple enough to search or else read Sue Gerhardt's book "Love Matters" (only £10 and affordable to Ch4 researchers)proves to be detrimental to the development of the infant brain - here the right brain hemisphere. The consequences lead to dissocation and personality disorders. The editors claim the right to explore different points of view, however, the research is overwhelming and makes any point of view irrelevant. As we are dealing with abuse of an infant by neglect the implications are serious and life threatening/impairing. The parents and the infants concerned - I would think - have the right to sue for damages. I could not watch the whole programme as it was too distressing. I have never been moved to agitate before but this is unbearable. I cannot be a bystander. Two more episodes are scheduled. This is a very important debate but it is not entertainment material when it impairs someone's life.
I had my first child in November last year and have also been interviewed by the program makers to take part in the programme doing the continuum concept. After the initial interview at our house I was really up for doing it as I wanted to promote homebirth and sling wearing etc etc but because we were not allowed to see or have any say in what material would be shown to see if it was taken out of context both my husband and I 'woke up' to the fact that 3 months of filming and video diaries condenced will distort 'the whole story' Anyone remember the breast feeding of an eight year old sensationalised to portray the parents as freaks??? I worry for the parents who took part as they are inevitably judged labelled and misrepresented on such a tender and important subject. OK that said here's my take on it. Has anyone checked the very 'strict lady' for wires and possible leaky battery acid as I don't think she has children of her own as she is not human and has about as much humanity as a tin robot. Secondly, if we were meant to bring up our children in that way then surely mother nature would have us lay our eggs at the top of a tree until they hatched so as 'not to bond too much'. Thirdly, I am so saddenned to watch a child be given such a rough start to life by 2 people and a tin robot. I am sure that the parents did want that child and love her very much as the baby must be around a year old. I hope they have put the tin robot's legacy behind them and returned to sanity and their natural parenting instincts
I too have been watching this car crash series with horror and disgust. I am very glad to hear from Vicky and Matts friend that their baby is doing well. However I think you have to expect people to cast aspersions on your parental judgemwnt if you allow yourself to be on such a programme in the first place!
Babies are human beings that have no say in what TV shows they are going on and should not be used as guinea pigs. Mia is doing well-Great, thank God they look like they got a blessing, but what about the fact that in the first three months of her life she and her mother suffered such unneccessary and sadistic stress? Everyone is so concerned about baby's develpoment but what about her well being at that present time? Does that not count, All that mattered to them was getting the baby into a routine no matter how much she suffered each time she bawled her eyes out. Disgusting.
Incidentally you can get a routine without all that stress and power tripping neurosis but CV wouldn't know that would she because she is not a mother herself. Anyway I am going now, to respond to my two month old baby's crying (who incidentally sleeps on his own through the night AND gets LOADS of cuddles and holding and is never left to howl on his own in a dark room).
