If someone can help me out here please with they own experience or advice.
Couple weeks ago I had a baby and did not receive any flowers/gift from my husband. Many people come, family, friends, and all of them bring flowers, sweets, teddy-bears etc.. but my husband not a thing. Our budget can definetley affofd a big gift, but stil, he did not bring me not even one flower! That make me feel so bad, sad, worthless, even angry... I did not tell him anything, I just can't talk about it with him, because it hurt me too much.
Is anybody have same experience? To me it seam then I am the only woman in this world who did not receive at least flowers from her husband after giving birth. Is it normal to feel that way or this is a result of some sort of "Post natal depression"??
I would so love for my sister to reply to this thread. Her boyfriend wasn't even at the birth of her child, didn't give her or the baby a single thing and I know it really really hurt her. Even though all of the family gave her presents, congratulations cards etc I know she was sincerely unhappy.
Its hard to comment on your situation because I obviously don't know what your husband is like but maybe he just thought you wouldn't want to be fussed over? He may have thought you would get enough from other members of the family? I do think you should say something to him though, just so you know the reason why.
that happened to my friend and she spoke to him about it weeks later. he couldnt believe how much it had annoyed her. the fact was that he was too caught up with all the excitement of the new baby and he wasnt thinking straight. he'd been busy trying to arrange visiting times with people, and making sure the house was ready for my friend and her baby to come home. plus he felt very overwhelmed at becoming a father.
you should talk to your husband as he probably hasnt realised that you needed him so much and his support. in my experience men can be selfish without realising it.
my boyfriend didnt get me anything either, but i got lots off others, guess they think that its well done to them as well as my bloke always says that pregnancy is worse for him as he has to hear about it. also he once had kidney stones and was in hospital they gave him peithdene injections for the pain - a woman was there for the same thing and said she would rather go back to having three kids than have kidney stones. so now he thinks he knows the pain of labour (i think what the woman meant was that labour is over at some point).
I agree talk to your husband let him know how you feel. Also talk to someone else, if you don't deal with issues postnatal depression could follow.
My son was born very premature and I didn't get a card off anyone the first day, I was extremely upset, I told a nurse and my husband. As a result I got loads of cards etc as the family made sure that neighbours etc knew to send cards. People didn't know what to do and didn't want to upset me!
Thank you all for reply. Yes, true, I need to talk to him. It is so difficult to me deal with him being so ignorant, but I guess, from other side it is worth to appreciate the fact then he always try to make things better.
Just one thing I cannot understand. How somebody with such IQ and succes in life like him can be so ignorant when it come to relationship?!
Originally posted by mumAgain: If someone can help me out here please with they own experience or advice.
Couple weeks ago I had a baby and did not receive any flowers/gift from my husband. Many people come, family, friends, and all of them bring flowers, sweets, teddy-bears etc.. but my husband not a thing. Our budget can definetley affofd a big gift, but stil, he did not bring me not even one flower! That make me feel so bad, sad, worthless, even angry... I did not tell him anything, I just can't talk about it with him, because it hurt me too much.
Is anybody have same experience? To me it seam then I am the only woman in this world who did not receive at least flowers from her husband after giving birth. Is it normal to feel that way or this is a result of some sort of "Post natal depression"??
Many thanks for Your anwser!
Hello mumagain! My husband didnt buy me a gift after our son was born , but he was there for the whole labour and is a fantastic dad. So I guess you need to look at the important things and see if anything is amiss there. It sounds like you are a bit insecure and unsure of things after the birth , I was just the same. It is only natural! I'm sure everything is fine and you are both just adjusting to the new baby. Good luck and congratultions
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Originally posted by mumAgain: If someone can help me out here please with they own experience or advice.
Couple weeks ago I had a baby and did not receive any flowers/gift from my husband. Many people come, family, friends, and all of them bring flowers, sweets, teddy-bears etc.. but my husband not a thing. Our budget can definetley affofd a big gift, but stil, he did not bring me not even one flower! That make me feel so bad, sad, worthless, even angry... I did not tell him anything, I just can't talk about it with him, because it hurt me too much.
Is anybody have same experience? To me it seam then I am the only woman in this world who did not receive at least flowers from her husband after giving birth. Is it normal to feel that way or this is a result of some sort of "Post natal depression"??
Many thanks for Your anwser!
hi mumAgain Congrats on the birth of your baby - Im sorry about your hubby.. but I can sympathise with you. Even though my hubby came into the operating theatre whilst I had a c-section and sat with me - afterwards when I was in hospital and when I got home he didnt get me a gift or card until I bought him one.. then again nothing surprises me as this man will buy me a birthday card on my birthday at the end of the day .. I love him dearly but cant help but be upset by his lack of 'thinking ahead'...
I understand totally the way you feel your emotions are everywhere even now 3 weeks after giving birth I have good days and bad where I might cry all day for no reason and everything I mean everything upsets me... 'baby blues' perhaps..If it keeps going for more than a few weeks go and see your doctor
((hugs)) you are not alone feel free to vent - men eh grrrrrr
It happened to me too! I have given my husband 3 beautiful children and I never received anything from him for any of them.
The thing that ticks me off is that men seem to take all the credit, for the birth with comments like "didn´t feel a thing" or "I watched it all", yet they forget the woman who was the one that went through everything, including stitches etc. They even get to water the babies head, while you´re tucked up in hospital.
I one thing I do know is they will never experience that knock out love you feel instantly when you are tucked up in bed with your newborn, looking down at them and saying to yourself ... well done you!
Congratulations on your beautiful bundle, it is natural to feel hurt I know how it feel. If it does help try talking to him men are ignorant when it comes to the opposite sex. xx
I can't remember my husband getting me anything after our son was born but he is not the sort of person who thinks like that, he remembers birthdays and our anniversary (he did forget once and was mortified and very apologetic), we had so many flowers and gifts from other people after the birth, they would have got lost in the mountain of them all anyway.
He is very squeamish yet was with me right the way through from 5 in the morning to 4 in the afternoon when they decided I needed and emergency c-section. I was in a lot of pain and on gas and air and not really aware of my surroundings but I kept focused on his voice and knowing he was there made me so relaxed even though I knew the midwives were very worried. He came in the operating theatre with me - again the sight of blood makes him very dizzy and sick - but stayed right the way through he didn't leave my side - apart from when he went to the incubator to see our son then had the realisation he had to get back to me without looking at my stomach, apparently the floor was very interesting at that point!! I had to stay in hospital for 5 days and he was there every day he must have been bored out of his skull, as I slept a lot but he was there. He may not be the sort of bloke who buys flowers and gifts but the fact he stayed by my side, shows me he loves and cares for me more than flowers or chocolates ever could.
It is nice to be fussed over but I would rather have the knowlege that my husband loves me and will be there when I need him - but thats just me, we are all different and have different needs. I hope you were able to talk to your husband about this.
Originally posted by Wobbletastic: How about some special mops, oven gloves and ironing board covers… that type of thing? What every woman needs; fun yet practical.
Or even a whip and a leash?! Men love beingg beaten and tied-up, when the truth is told! :::::: twinkles :::::::
I'm due my first baby in June and you've alerted me to the fact that my boyfriend will need to be pre-warned to bring something for me! This will save any upset.
ps aren't there a lot of really annoying posts on this thread?
I love him dearly but cant help but be upset by his lack of 'thinking ahead'...
grrrrrr
