There is a fabulous book called "Raising Drug-Free Kids" by Dr. Aletha Solter, based on MODERN SCIENTIFIC RESEARCH!!!
Two of the many tips she gives for parents are:
1. NEVER LEAVE YOUR BABY TO CRY ALONE!!!
"Babies can feel terrified when nobody responds, and this abandonment can leed to feelings of powerlessness, lack of trust, low self-esteem, and chronic anxiety later in life."
"Crying may indicate a baby's need to release stress..."
"Pick your baby up and hold him while allowing him to cry in your arms..."
"Holding your baby when he cries is an excellent way to let him know that you will always be responsive to his needs and available to listen to his painful emotions and that you will love him no matter what he is feeling. If you continue to respond attentively as he grows older, he will bring his problems to you throughout childhood and adolescence, because he will trust in your ability to help or comfort him. ... This closeness, confidence, and trust will help inoculate your child against drugs."
2. RESPECT YOUR CHILD'S ATTACHMENT NEEDS
"Adults who lacked an early secure relationship with their parents often suffer from depression, anxiety, and the inability to form healthy relationships. These painful feelings can cause a person to use alcohol or drugs. Experiement with adult monkeys, who were offered a choice of alcohol or water, showed that those who were deprived of early contact with their mothers drank more alcohol."
"You can foster healthy attachment by frequently holding your baby, responding sensitively, and minimazing separations."
"A securely attached child is not necessarily independent... There is nothing wrong with catering to these legitimate needs for closeness, comfort, and attention. Children eventually outgrow these early attachment needs and become independent, but they do so on their own timetable. If you try to force independence to soon, you may encounter resistance and conflict..."
"By nurturing a strong attachment with your child during the first few years, you will give her a solid feeling of security and high self-esteem, which will be the root of later drug resiliance."
Of course, there is more in the book, but I can't write it all!
