Hi Rodmann
While I appreciate all comments, I do feel you seem to be judging me. NO-ONE can be doing more for my son than I am. I am not stupid, ignorant or naive enough to think it is only an educational thing. I do realise that my son will have to overcome all manner of problems throughout his whole life and not just at school. There is no magic solution and his issues will never be "ironed" out. An Aspergers child becomes an Aspergers adult. I have every faith in my son's ability that this syndrome will not hold him back but make him and his family fight all the harder for him and with him. I will educate other children/ adults to this syndrome if I feel it is necessary. After all I was ignorant to this until 6 weeks ago. If it can help my son to have people around him understand him more then why not? If he was black, asian or in a wheelchair he would be treated accordingly - just because his "illness" is invisible he should not become a victim. My son is an extremely lovable and capable child and I am positive that with the correct diagnosis and right provisions he can fully achieve his potential at mainstream school - whatever that potential may be. I will never judge him or love him less because of this, I actually love him more, and not through pity, but because he is a unique child. The mould was broke when my son was born.

Hi
Thanks again for replying. I have been told that my son will be able to stay at his current school as his condition is extremely mild. I had a meeting with his headteacher yesterday to review the situation and have been told they have up to 30 children with specialist needs in school at the moment. Also one NTA is learning how to teach / understand AS children specifically. I have no illusions that my son must stay in mainstream school, if a specialist school is recommended then that is where he will go It's his needs that matter - not mine. However, at the moment I am his voice and as such I will use it as where necessary. My son has yet to receive a statement of educational needs, he is currently awaiting to have his case presented to the Child Development Referral Gate - this has happened quicker than normal as the paediatrician doesn't need to see him. I have also been told by school that next week he will be seeing the school psychologist which, as far as I can see, is all good. The more people he sees the better. I am extremely pleased that school have picked up on this as hopefully he can get a diagnosis soon, however I realise this is a slow process. I seriously am not still grieving for my son, as I said I have already done that for my dead sister and brother. Not to sound flippant, but there really is no comparison. Having a child with AS is hard, no doubt about it but I/we haven't been told our children are dying. At the end of the day my son has some quirky habits and an inability to adapt in the social surroundings of a school - literature I have read says that to teach a child social skills is the same as teaching other children to play the piano. Thank you for your wishes of luck, they are appreciated and recipricated. All in all I think it just makes the journey of being a mum more of an adventure and we are both lucky to have such lovable little boys.

quote:

Originally posted by gingerlady:
Hi
Thanks again for replying. I have been told that my son will be able to stay at his current school as his condition is extremely mild. I had a meeting with his headteacher yesterday to review the situation and have been told they have up to 30 children with specialist needs in school at the moment. Also one NTA is learning how to teach / understand AS children specifically. I have no illusions that my son must stay in mainstream school, if a specialist school is recommended then that is where he will go It's his needs that matter - not mine. However, at the moment I am his voice and as such I will use it as where necessary. My son has yet to receive a statement of educational needs, he is currently awaiting to have his case presented to the Child Development Referral Gate - this has happened quicker than normal as the paediatrician doesn't need to see him. I have also been told by school that next week he will be seeing the school psychologist which, as far as I can see, is all good. The more people he sees the better. I am extremely pleased that school have picked up on this as hopefully he can get a diagnosis soon, however I realise this is a slow process. I seriously am not still grieving for my son, as I said I have already done that for my dead sister and brother. Not to sound flippant, but there really is no comparison. Having a child with AS is hard, no doubt about it but I/we haven't been told our children are dying. At the end of the day my son has some quirky habits and an inability to adapt in the social surroundings of a school - literature I have read says that to teach a child social skills is the same as teaching other children to play the piano. Thank you for your wishes of luck, they are appreciated and recipricated. All in all I think it just makes the journey of being a mum more of an adventure and we are both lucky to have such lovable little boys.

Anyway I am gonna add this, do not dismiss a specialist school without having visited one and seen how they work, you may change your mind, but since this is the start of his life you must cover all options no matter what the mainstream school says, after all their budget gets improved by having special children there, I appreciate you have all faith in your sons teachers, however, if i listened to half the people in the nursery telling me about my son, I wouldnt have gone to see the place I want my son to go to, because they have dealt with cases such as his for years, because I know for sure the ASD nursery is where he needs to be regardless of what any teacher has to say to me. If I listened to the doctors and health visitors my son would not have his diagnosis. I dont have any other children, but I did not early on in his life he wasnt like other children are. I am sure you will also get a speech and language therapist, Clinical Psychologist, occupational therapist etc all looking at him. When I look at my sons special features that make him different, I also imagine him being 10, 15, 20, 30 doing those things still, and for me, if someone out there can help him overcome 50% of those things, I rather die trying to help him overcome that. i am also taking his head teacher to the specialist nursery, because she thinks her nursery can give him the attention he needs, they may be able to help him in some aspects, but the social awareness appreciation and integration is handled much better at the ASD nursery. I know that if he goes there, he will later go to main stream school and handle it, I just know it, because he will have learnt to handle himself and watched others learn the same lesson. I also will have him go to the main stream nursery if i can get it so he has a 70/30 split and I just know once the ht has come with me and seen what they do and how they do it, she will help me to get my request rather than hinder me, because all I have to say to her is, can you give him the discipline they provide here. Her answer most certainly will be no.

You are very lucky to have had a diagnosis so early on with your son. I have checked the specialist schools and we have no specific ones for ASD within the area we live, so it would meen further disruption for him to be travelling - and 4 is too young for that I think. Already my son is coming up to half way through his first proper year at school and while he can't do the work at school, does do it at home so ?!?!?!?
I think in all this patience is the most used word and most needed requirement. If I have to get a private tutor then I will but unfortunately that won't help him to integrate so it's the catch 22 situation. Although he may miss out on some social aspects of school, my biggest wish for him is that he learns to read. If that is all he does I will be happy cos as long as he has books he never will be alone. Best of luck to you and your son. You sound a very dedicated mum and your son is lucky to have you. Take care.

Hi
Just an update. Got the diagnosis end of last month that my son has Asperger Syndrome. It's good to have the name confirmed and we can finally move forward with his schooling. All in all it took a total of 9 weeks from school spotting the problem, he started reception last September, to getting the diagnosis last month and he still isn't four and a half yet. Although I had doubts about his school prior to the diagnosis they have been really good in implementing an emergency statement to get extra support and the headteacher is employing another NTA that will support my son. It is hard in some respects to come to terms with as at home my son is just my son. He is safe, funny, kind, caring, good (most of the time) but at school it's really hard for him. He is completely out of his comfort zone and hasn't really done anything he should have in his first few terms, however he does for me at home. Fingers crossed that extra support will be there for him after Easter and with a bit of luck he can go into year 1 in September with the statement of educational needs and start to make some progress. He really has the potential it's just unlocking it in the world of school where he is obviously finding it dificult at the moment.

Ho Gingerlady. Im glad you stumbled upon Asperger`s, I read the washing machine part and thought..Oh dear..aspergers!

It can be a shock to get a diagnosis, and I have no doubt you are doing all things possible. I was diagnosed with Aspergers, it has been a gift and a curse. I was obsessed with spinning wheels as a child and developed a gift for painting www.lindseydearnley.com
My boyfriend also has aspergers and he was among the first to be diagnosed in the country back in 1989. he had it very severe as a child, but now he is training to be a learning disability nurse. he is top of his class at uni and currently in placement. You wouldnt know he had aspergers at all, and not least that he had it severe as a child. Im sure the future will be bright for your son to, he is obviously showing forward planning wetting his clothes!
I will gladly answer any questions if you have them.

I am keeping positive that as my son's behaviour at school now has a name and is understood that his future in school can only move forward with the education that he deserves, however I would be interested to know if there is any evidence of fixations increasing as he gets older or if he is likely to remain stable now that his condition has been recognised

His spinning obsession will most likely pass, however, obsessions tend to evolve in sophistiaction and he`ll move onto other things. Ill also say that watching of spinning objects isnt just an interest in itself, the motion has a calming effect on certain types of brains. this kind of obsession can be seen in children with other disorders to, even genetic ones, and so its his way of relaxing as well as an interest. perhaps you can wean him onto something a little more socially acceptable, and maybe allow him time with the obsession as a reward for good behaviour. like 5 minutes or something. I used to have this spinning wheel which sparks flew off, but I recently saw a fantastic rattle which had spinning lights inside it, though its important not to let him have free reign of his obsessions.
generally obsessions do seem to wane in intensity towards adulthood, or at least they certainly change. Its not nessisarily a bad thing, Ive made a living out of my obsessions and I know many AS people who work with computers.
My boyfriend was exactly like how your son sounds. the nursery expelled him because he clogged all the drains up and flooded the toilets. he did it because he felt he had figured out how the drainage system worked and to test his theory, he opened a grid outside and filled it with stones and gravel. when the toilet flooded he was very pleased - he had proved himself right! he also used to spin round in circles for hours in nursrey and developed an obsession about volcanoes. The interesting part is he was also labelled as `unteachable` and `retarded`. I read his school record and it says he learned to read in a single day aged 4, from an enclopedia no less, because he needed to learn to read, to learn about volcanoes That is a very important point, his obsession was so intense, it drove him to learn to read in a single day. This might be useful to you, if you can entice your son into learning by incorperating his obsessions into it, he may well speed ahead with his learning.

there is also a new DVD out which is a run away sucess with autistic children, and its human faces projected onto trains, a bit like thomas the tank engine, so autistic children can learn about emotions. Ive not seen it, but its just out now and reported to be really successful.
Im not sure how to help with his behaviour, just to say he is most likely reacting that way because his senses overwhelmed. I found classrooms to noisy and I used to hide in the stockroom. To him, busy places are intensely more stressful than they are to average people. Many people with aspergers hear to loudly, or their vision is busy due to a lack of visual filtering, and other children will apear like frightning robots to him. He will be better when he gets older, and can be taught to relax more, but I never had therapy as a kid, so I cant comment on that right now.

Your response was very interesting.I write as the very proud Nana of this little boy and your comments on your boyfriends interest in drainage systems struck a chord!Collecting my grandson from school one evening,he asked what the drains in the road were for, I gave a brief and I hope precise answer.He immediately wanted to share this information with a passing classmate who showed absolutely no interest which I didn't expect him to.Having read about Asperger's it was a typical response but my grandson wasn't unduly bothered as he'd learnt something new.I agree with the calming influence of spinning objects which shows itself when he appears to have had an anxious day at school as he gathers his favourite toys around him,rocks for a little while and then takes an interest in a TV programme or whats for tea! Maybe my grandson,yourself and boyfriend along with other Asperger's have the right idea in coping with anxiety, we all have to deal with it someway and if learning alongside this condition is a way to cope thats not such a bad thing.

quote:

Originally posted by gingerlady:
Your response was very interesting.I write as the very proud Nana of this little boy and your comments on your boyfriends interest in drainage systems struck a chord!Collecting my grandson from school one evening,he asked what the drains in the road were for, I gave a brief and I hope precise answer.He immediately wanted to share this information with a passing classmate who showed absolutely no interest which I didn't expect him to.Having read about Asperger's it was a typical response but my grandson wasn't unduly bothered as he'd learnt something new.I agree with the calming influence of spinning objects which shows itself when he appears to have had an anxious day at school as he gathers his favourite toys around him,rocks for a little while and then takes an interest in a TV programme or whats for tea! Maybe my grandson,yourself and boyfriend along with other Asperger's have the right idea in coping with anxiety, we all have to deal with it someway and if learning alongside this condition is a way to cope thats not such a bad thing.

you cannot diagnose your own child with something, every autistic child is different.

not sure what you are getting at Rodman?
The child IS diagnosed.
As for helping autistic children the `professional` response has so many different schools of thought, which one is right? and very often with psychologists, youll meet ones that never even worked with autistic children. unfortunatly, aspergers is an area where understanding is rare amongst professionals, even amongst literature on the subject, but I guess thats another debate for another board.