Hi I am a dad of 2.5 year old triplets and also have another child 6, i am finding it increasingly difficult to cope, the kids are all in good health and have no problems. They are a real handful and i find it very stressful looking after them when my wife is out at work. she is a wonderful mum and takes it all in her stride but, i am not that good i find myself shouting and ranting all the time and am slowly beginging to feel resentment towards my kids, i feel thst i have no bond and try to find any excuse to get out of the way and do other things! This ultimately brings a strain to our family relaionship as both my wife and I argue alot.... this is NOT good and is starting to drive a wedge into our relationship. I need some advice to stop this situation ending badly and need help to calm down and start to enjoy my kids company... please please please help fingers crossed Triplet dad
poor you!! It is hard bringing up 1 child let alone 3 all the same age. I do feel that alot of the time children feed off their parents. If you are down or angry they will feel your vibes and react naughty. Supernanny has fab techniques such as naughty corner...which you should invest in!! Also try and have quality time with them...doing jigsaws etc.. It is difficult i imagine.
Have you thought about a playschool for them to go in twice a week to give you some time out!! TIME OUT is always needed!! Good luck xx
Thanks for the reply, not sure who the naughty corner is for me or the kids, lol, they are generally good but everynow and then ....... well i am sure you can imagine ,or prehaps not. time for me??? if it is not the kids then I am at work trying to hold down 2 jobs to make ends meet, finance is a problem and my wife seems to think that time at work is time for me........ i am not so sure
Sounds like you do need some time for you, could a relative have the kids for a few hours? if they are too much for one relative alone then maybe have a couple of relatives take one or two, when they are put back together they will prolly have missed each other and behave well for a while too.
Or take them to 'mother' and toddler groups different toys to play with in a child friendly surrounding with other parent around to keep an eye on them aswell as yourself.
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it! ˙ǝɹǝɥʇ ʇno sı ɥʇnɹʇ ǝɥʇ
they go to playschool, on a tuesday morning so mum goes for a coffee with a friend, they enjoy that but i think the staff a not that good, they are entitled to a free child palce from dec 06 which will help, although the local school does not seem to have enough room for all 3 which is a worry!
grand parents are fine but it is alot to ask ask they are getting on in life and it kils me to have the kids let alone if i was in my 60's.. lol
there is no real answer i know, but not sure which way to turn next!!
I can imagine what you are going through my daughter is 2 in november. Is there a local park you can take the kids to while the 6 year old is at school, or some painting my daughter likes to do potato stamping with paint, puzzles anything you can do with them is good. I have started to use the naughty corner and she really is getting used to it but as you say they aint bad all the time they just want you attention all the time. I also think you and your wife need sometime together without any kids. I really do understand the issues you are having. Hope you sort it out soon
It is really nice to see that others understand, today is another day and we we will see what today holds, at least when they are all ni bed i can tick it off my calender and wait for tomorrow, lol take care all and keep posting your comments
Introduced a naughty chair into the house today, well! what can i say, naughty chair with triplets is fun to say the least, one of my boys keeps climbing on the window cill and nearly has mastered the art of climbing out of the window!!!!
SO! we thought the naughty chair would be a good idea, 3mins no probs then all we get for the rest of the day is, the other 2 "my turn , my turn ,my turn!!!"
I`m sorry Triplet Dad, I`ve just read your post and I`m in hysterics, I can imagine them all wanting a turn, I know I shouldn`t when its suppose to be a punishment and has back fired a bit but I could see them all eager to sit on the chair How about having three different naughty chairs, one for each and in different places? stick with it, the novelty will soon wear off. Good luck
nice to see that i had amde someone laugh...... i spose it is funny really but, at the time my anger was rising fast.ggrrrr, i have decide to clear out the cupbard under the stairs and remove the light bulb!!!!!! THAT WILL SHOW THEM lol.
Originally posted by Triplet dad: Thanks southern.
nice to see that i had amde someone laugh...... i spose it is funny really but, at the time my anger was rising fast.ggrrrr, i have decide to clear out the cupbard under the stairs and remove the light bulb!!!!!! THAT WILL SHOW THEM lol.
Now I know your joking although with the one child I did use the naughty chair I put it where the tv couldn`t be seen and that she was sort of out of the way, she hated not being with us all
i do think with children that the calmer you are the calmer they are and so it gets easier.keeping them busy is hard work but can be very rewarding. i do lots of baking with the kids.it can be messy but hey you can clear it all up, give then each their own bowl and make sure you have plenty eggs as there is bound to be spillage!!
i also recomend rescue remedy for you!! get it from the chemist or superdrug . a couple of drops under your tounge will help calm you down when the stress is getting to you.
good luck hope you can make many happy memories for you and your children
The thought of baking, OMG! with 3..mmmmmmm not so sure i could do that on my own, prehaps need a little help with that one.
it is very hard to keep them occupied specially when the older sisters arrives from school, dumps her bag and goes straight into tourment mode!!!! oh well all is quiet for now as al 4 tucked up in bed, just time for me to do the ironing, sort sandwiches and wash the pots, never mind back to work tomorrow for a well deserved rest!!! lol take care
could you put something down on the floor and do the mixing there rather than standing up at the kitchen bench that way you can be in more of a circle. try starting with shortbread its easy, no eggs and they can mix it with their hands. when im stressed i blow up my imagimary red balloon then let it go and watch it float off into the distance. it sounds stupid but its just my way of counting to ten ,deep breaths really do help.
Hi triplet dad im new on here today coming on for advice for my quads(i lost 1 due to being still born)not going to sleep at night with out a battle (they are also 2.10mths.)I saw your post and just wanted to say that you are doing a great job just being there, maybe you could go upstairs or in the little cupboard under the stairs for 2 mins to calm down,with my boys i found shouting made them worse so a carm approach seems to deflate the situation but saying that is so easy i know but it does help so much i promise GOOD LUCK
quote:
Originally posted by Triplet dad: Hi I am a dad of 2.5 year old triplets and also have another child 6, i am finding it increasingly difficult to cope, the kids are all in good health and have no problems. They are a real handful and i find it very stressful looking after them when my wife is out at work. she is a wonderful mum and takes it all in her stride but, i am not that good i find myself shouting and ranting all the time and am slowly beginging to feel resentment towards my kids, i feel thst i have no bond and try to find any excuse to get out of the way and do other things! This ultimately brings a strain to our family relaionship as both my wife and I argue alot.... this is NOT good and is starting to drive a wedge into our relationship. I need some advice to stop this situation ending badly and need help to calm down and start to enjoy my kids company... please please please help fingers crossed Triplet dad
hiya i read ur post and i think what they are trying to do is wind u up so dont let them wind u up as its hard to cope with triplets, spend quality time with them like going to the park and father and child time. with all 3. i have 1 child a boy he has a severe learning disability sp its harder for me to try and teach him whats what as we got to learn the hard way. i hope this helps. keep doing what ur doing but maybe at 2 1/2 they dont understand what naughty behaviour is. but never to late to learn.
Thanks for all the replies, just managed to grab a second to come in here, been really busy of late but things are looking good good good at the moment.....
Trying really hard to be more understanding and feel that my role as "dad" needs to change b4 it's to late and I drive all my family away!!!
The kids Mum is the most wonderful woman alive and she copes so brilliantly, I love her soooooo much.
My kids and my wife are the most important things in my life and it is not worth losing them just for me being selfish...
Triplet dad, please stop being so hard on yourself I am a mother of 27 month old twins and by the sound of things you cope really really well with your situation. Having children of the same age makes many things more difficult including getting the energy to get them all ready and take them out. It is good to try and get your temper under control but just remmber NOONE is perfect and sometimes everyone has to left off steam.
You are a fantastic father and just need some beleif in yourself to help you relax and enjoy your family. That everyone will tell you are a blessing but everyone will be too afraid to take off your hands for a few hours.
Keep smiling and looking after your wife as she probably feels it as much as you do and just copes with it differently.
well i read the post about the chair and all i can say is it made me laugh because there all the same age you have to treat them the same and they all want your attention i bet you wish there was 3 of you =D i think the best way to deal with it is to do group activities so each of them are working as a team but each of them have a different role to play whilst getting involved in the activity that way they all feel special. Maybe some finger paints or something thats bound to be messy can be a laugh and don't worry about the mess just have fun and be a kid again worry about cleaning up later maybe that could be another group activity that they could help you with.
Good to read your comments, It is interesting to think about a group activity!!!! painting still put's the fear of god into me but I might give it a try over the half term holiday...
you are all wonderful parents and be proud of your kids All the best Triplet dad
Dear triplet dad, I have only just registered as triplet mom and was surprised to see a triplet dad on here. I see your last posting was September, so I'm hoping that's a good sign and you have managed to sort out the problems you were experiencing.
I am mother to 5 year old triplets (two girls and a boy). My husband works full time and I am on a career break from the Civil Service so I, like you, am the carer during the day.
Thinking back to when ours were 2 1/2 we also faced many challenges and I spent many a tearful moment, wishing I could just run away and hide from it all. I certainly found the naughty corner worked (we actually call it the time out corner, because I didn't want them to be called naughty, only what they had done was naughty).
At that time we lived in a village which was very hilly and made it nigh on impossible for me to maneouvre a triplet buggy up and down the narrow pavements so I ended up stuck in the house a lot with them. Those were the darkest days for me and I just longed to have a visitor for some adult conversation. We moved house to a much more child friendly neighbourhood and we haven't looked back.
I know it's hard to feel motivated when things can feel a bit of a drudge and you feel guilty for feeling that way, but I found that getting the kids out the house, no matter the weather raised all our spirits and they were able to burn off all their excess energy which otherwise may have gone into winding up mummy,climbing everywhere or squabbling with their siblings.
I also used a reward system. Okay 2 1/2 may seem young for that, but little by little it sunk in that good behaviour resulted in something nice happening. They very quickly learn by watching how their siblings are rewarded. They want a piece of the action too. One thing I am adamant about is never giving in to tantrums. Once one sees it pays off, the others will want to follow very quickly. I warn them that if they start to misbehave they will have to go somewhere quiet, away from whatever activity is going on at the time. If I think a tantrum is about to start I try to stay calm and physically remove them from the situation and give extra praise to the others for being good. If they also start, they get removed to another room, separate from the first offender. No discussion, no arguments - they were already warned, right? Remember, divide and conquer! Once they calm down I go back to talk to them calmly and discuss what made them angry and upset. I try to explain it's ok to feel angry with someone, but there more effective ways of putting your feelings across without all out warfare. We also have a chart on the wall and they get ticks for positive behaviour, which can result in a nice little sum of pocket money by the end of each week. 1 tick = 1p. That doesn't sound a lot, but ours just love the jingle jangle of lots of wee coins in their piggy banks!
One thing I would strongly recommend is have a 'date' with your wife each week if possible. If you can get a baby sitter, get out the house together for a while. You are still a couple, not just mum and dad. I'm not suggesting I have all the answers. In fact, my reason for registering here is because I have a problem with my son being a fussy eater and wondering if he has a food intolerance, so none of us are perfect parents. I learned a very long time ago to be less hard on myself and stop feeling I'm not doing a good job. you sound like a really wonderful caring dad and I think the wee ones are very lucky that you are so keen to ensure they are happy. I hope playgroup from next month will take the pressure off you a bit. Believe me, it will make such a difference to the
Don't play stupid with me... I'm better at it!
How about having three different naughty chairs, one for each and in different places? stick with it, the novelty will soon wear off. Good luck 
xxxx