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I am absolutely horrified that channel 4 allowed a newborn infant and her parents to be used as lab rats for our entertainment. Those few precious days of life are irreplacable. Babys need constant contact. Their only means of communication with parents is via skin and eye contact. Who knows what the long-term effects will be on all the family, especially the newborn and her little sister. I will not watch this programme again. I suggest everyone else boycots the show.
Upset mother (and father) of sparkling, bright and empathic little girl (breastfed and co-sleeper til 19 months)
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How intersting (and how pleased I am) to see that there isn't a single comment in favour of Clare Verity and her methods. Who are these people who pay money to have thier children locked out? I'd be very intersted to know.
As an aside, I am a mother of twins and if you ever needed proof positive that there is no method that works for all children, twins are a prime example. My children have been raised in exactly the same way - with love, attention, contact and, an element of routine around sleep time once they had passed their intial few weeks of settling into their new world. Still now, at 6 months old, they have different schedules, different needs, different appetites, different sleep patterns - one slept through from 3 months, the other still wakes occasionally. But both are happy, rested, delightful, secure children who will know how much they are loved. I couldn't let them cry for 10 minutes, let alone 4 hours. Who are these parents that can?
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quote: Originally posted by :->:
We did end up doing a mix. I wanted to use a sling, but my son was 11.5lbs, I had had a caesarean & i just couldn't carry him in it for long. Also, he wasn't a great fan of it (maybe because it was a babybjorn). I never wanted him out of my sight and we had a wheelable cot we could move from the sitting room to the bedroom in our flat. But at 5 months when we'd moved our room layout and couldn't do it, he wouldn't take to going to sleep in our room on his own before we went to bed. He started waking up more and more, despite starting solids at 6 months. Finally, after waking up 7 times in one night, much against my better judgment, we started leaving him to cry for up to 20-30 mins & i was astonished he started settling himself quite quickly. He slept better
at night &, surprisingly, during the day too. But I could never leave a newborn to "settle itself". Fresh air worked for us too, he was always much calmer outside than in, a tip we heard from several older people. We always had a net on though & someone was always outside in the garden near him. To leave a baby alone, outside, without a net basically leaves it prey to other humans, (not to say the wrath of other humans!), cats, dogs, birds, foxes & goodness knows what else. Madness.
but your baby was much older and not in need of food in the night - you practised the controlled crying technique which is recognised as perfectly acceptable for babies 6 months plus. |
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One of the most heartbreaking things I've ever seen was that little girl being told by her baffled-sounding father that she couldn't cuddle her new baby sister as it wasn't "allowed"...
Who is this "Cruella da vil" character and why is she being put on a programme about child-rearing methods?
I don't care how much money she gets paid - that is not in itself a justification for promoting cruelty to children and bullying new parents!
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I have two wonderful boys aged 6 and 4, who are affectionate, bright and perfectly well balanced, happy children.
After reading the constant negative comments about Claire Verity I had to join this forum!
I feel that whilst I personally did not ever neglect my boys of cuddles to the extent portayed in this programme, Claire's methods were not as bad as people are making out. Yes she is strict and no-nonsense but at the end of the day when all is said and done these parents knew exactly what they were signing up for and i'm sorry - it was the first programme of 4 - surely you have to see how it pans out before you judge this lady - give her a chance!
From watching the programme tonight Claire is not saying you should ignore your children forever, just establish guidelines early whilst your babies are non-responsive to get them into a routine by the time they can respond (3 months old) - to benefit both themselves and the parents.
I just feel people should perhaps let the series run before judging completely. Lets not forget that Claire is not the first and certainly won't be the last to adopt this approach and many of you posting may well have been brought up themselves by this method - how do you know??
Like I said - I could not have gone to the extremes of putting my babies outside for hours or indeed not giving them a cuddle when I wanted to - but she is not the one who came up with this concept - she is at the end of the day just one of 3 women who are taking part in a tv documentary to try and prove a point. In my mind the other Claire was just wierd! Who would keep their baby in a sling all the time - that to me is crazy and is hazardous!!
Anyway - just my opinion, be it right or worng :-)
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It's because of the work you do joanne os that we all feel this way! I was clueless when I had my daughter and I was on the phone with my Health Visitor frequently. She allowed me to realise that I could give my baby love, care and attention and that I wasn't spoiling her. Keep up the good work, I'm sure you'll have lots to talk about tomorrow!
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It's really making me smile to see how many people actually do follow their instincts and show their babies that they love them.
As so many of you have said, the whole point of having a baby is to become a family and to parent them.
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I agree with LoveLove - an official complaint must be made about this awful woman so as to highlight her to health authoities and ward off new parents!!!!!!!!
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What was the point of then having the monitor if all they were going to do was ignore the baby. They are ruining a special bond that will never be replaced. I wouln't trust her as she has never had her own child - how can she or anyone feel that she is qualified to look after children. The child is learning not to trust in it's parents - how sad.
My little boy is brought up with loads of love cuddles and a bit of routine - he progressed by himself to sleeping through the night and is now a happy confident child.
What bugs me is that they have an older child and nothing seems to be wrong with her - they should have just chosen to care for their new baby the same way as it clearly worked out fine for her.
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quote: Originally posted by JEMIMAMAMA:
It seems incredible that people allow this woman who has no children of her own to dictate to them at the expense of their child.New parents are incredibly vulnerable and the enormous social and financial pressures to get back to work and back to "normal" seem to be allowing women like this to exploit people by offering control.
If the parents are so detatched from their child how will they learn to recognise his needs or identify any difficulties in his development?Not to mention that of course they are all missing out on the sheer joy of having a child.
I am a mother of 8 and my youngest is 6 months.I was heartbroken for the poor victims of the 50s woman.I hope they kick her out and bring the baby back in!
On the other hand I don't think I could carry the baby around with me all the time.I gave up on slings after I missed a kerb in town and nearly fell under a bus a few years ago.
I hope the series shows that there are no set in stone answers to caring for babies,which I suppose is what the Dr Spock proponent is saying.
Firstly can i congratualte you on having 8 children and still being up at this hour and secondly the only thing to raise a smile on my face out of this horrible 50's thing is your comment sbout the sling and the bus.xx |
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they only need to read this forum!!!!
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quote: Originally posted by joanne os:
its me the disgruntled health visitor, and like many others on this forum i am new to it and had to sign up straight away to vent some anger!
I too dont do the forum thing! This has stimulated so much response, can this be real or have C4 churned up a can of worms just to see what would happen? My heart goes out to the women who went the Truby King way.... |
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Joanne
You do that! If any of my patients ask me what I thought of the programme and specifically the 1950s approach, I will be very clear in my reply!
We don't yet know how the programme will pan out, but my money is on the Dr Spock method, given it takes a balanced view between the other approaches. It seems to fit better with what we know about psychology and also parent's wellbeing (ie: being able to have their own needs met as well). However, if a parent wants to carry a child around in a sling, good for them, I think it's lovely for the child to have that close contact and security. My only concern would be that some children could find the issue of separation distressing when they need to do this. But as I have said before, every child is different so this isn't easy to predict. parents should go with their instincts, but love and affection are key to development.
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In reponse to Kelly 6815 - It is irrelevant how it pans out with Clare Verity's children. The trauma of what she is putting these babies and parents through speaks for itself. So they might sleep through the night a few weeks ealier than some, or learn to cry themselves out sooner? The real test would be to revisit these children years on. Or let them see how they were treated when they become parents themselves and see if they are happy with what they've been put through.
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I think Channel 4 should bring Claire Verity into this forum to explain.
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i agree, the 50's approach was mean and i felt very sorry for the babies and the parents who both was upset. i have a 3 week old baby and i just went with the flow, watching this program i spose i fit the dr. spock method.
my main reason for posting is i want one of those slings, anyone know where i can get one? i have seen ones similar but thats the exact one i want.
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quote: Originally posted by kelly6185:
I have two wonderful boys aged 6 and 4, who are affectionate, bright and perfectly well balanced, happy children.
After reading the constant negative comments about Claire Verity I had to join this forum!
I feel that whilst I personally did not ever neglect my boys of cuddles to the extent portayed in this programme, Claire's methods were not as bad as people are making out. Yes she is strict and no-nonsense but at the end of the day when all is said and done these parents knew exactly what they were signing up for and i'm sorry - it was the first programme of 4 - surely you have to see how it pans out before you judge this lady - give her a chance!
From watching the programme tonight Claire is not saying you should ignore your children forever, just establish guidelines early whilst your babies are non-responsive to get them into a routine by the time they can respond (3 months old) - to benefit both themselves and the parents.
I just feel people should perhaps let the series run before judging completely. Lets not forget that Claire is not the first and certainly won't be the last to adopt this approach and many of you posting may well have been brought up themselves by this method - how do you know??
Like I said - I could not have gone to the extremes of putting my babies outside for hours or indeed not giving them a cuddle when I wanted to - but she is not the one who came up with this concept - she is at the end of the day just one of 3 women who are taking part in a tv documentary to try and prove a point. In my mind the other Claire was just wierd! Who would keep their baby in a sling all the time - that to me is crazy and is hazardous!!
Anyway - just my opinion, be it right or worng :-)
I compliment you for trying your best to understand this woman and to see behind problems, but her behavior is not accepted and I think most people on this forum will agree with me when I say that she should not set the example. Give her a chance you say. Well, on who's expense. Unfortunately this has been filmed already, sp those poor babys have been left alone screaming and untouched already. We can't change that, but we can change the future!! |
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quote: Originally posted by LoveLove: quote: Originally posted by kelly6185:
I have two wonderful boys aged 6 and 4, who are affectionate, bright and perfectly well balanced, happy children.
After reading the constant negative comments about Claire Verity I had to join this forum!
I feel that whilst I personally did not ever neglect my boys of cuddles to the extent portayed in this programme, Claire's methods were not as bad as people are making out. Yes she is strict and no-nonsense but at the end of the day when all is said and done these parents knew exactly what they were signing up for and i'm sorry - it was the first programme of 4 - surely you have to see how it pans out before you judge this lady - give her a chance!
From watching the programme tonight Claire is not saying you should ignore your children forever, just establish guidelines early whilst your babies are non-responsive to get them into a routine by the time they can respond (3 months old) - to benefit both themselves and the parents.
I just feel people should perhaps let the series run before judging completely. Lets not forget that Claire is not the first and certainly won't be the last to adopt this approach and many of you posting may well have been brought up themselves by this method - how do you know??
Like I said - I could not have gone to the extremes of putting my babies outside for hours or indeed not giving them a cuddle when I wanted to - but she is not the one who came up with this concept - she is at the end of the day just one of 3 women who are taking part in a tv documentary to try and prove a point. In my mind the other Claire was just wierd! Who would keep their baby in a sling all the time - that to me is crazy and is hazardous!!
Anyway - just my opinion, be it right or worng :-)
I compliment you for trying your best to understand this woman and to see behind problems, but her behavior is not accepted and I think most people on this forum will agree with me when I say that she should not set the example. Give her a chance you say. Well, on who's expense. Unfortunately this has been filmed already, sp those poor babys have been left alone screaming and untouched already. We can't change that, but we can change the future!!
Here Here! |
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I too joined up because of this programme, i got so upset watching this so called experts barbaric methods. It is dangerous, babies left to cry can develop hernias, if you ignore them how do you know nothing else is wrong ??? All the research into SIDS says having the baby in your room can reduce the risk of cot death, who is she to go against years of proven research ???? And leaving the babies outside OMG !!!!!!!! Those being the most dangerous then you have the denial of human love and affection, not being fed when they need it, BASIC HUMAN NEEDS. How is she working, how has she not been struck off?? I dont think anything has upset me this much as watching that programme. My daughter is 14 months, was breast fed on demand, we responded to her when she cried, she is cuddled all the time, sleeps in the bed, she is a happy confident and content child, not spoiled, she has a routine that she set, we let her lead us, she goes to bed a 8 on her own and comes into us about 5 am and goes straight back to sleep. How does she know that doing that to a baby doesnt set up disaster for the future?? behavioural problems etc? ok rant over, dont feel better though  |
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I love you Sid! xxx
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Michelle 35 quote: I compliment you for trying your best to understand this woman and to see behind problems, but her behavior is not accepted and I think most people on this forum will agree with me when I say that she should not set the example. Give her a chance you say. Well, on who's expense. Unfortunately this has been filmed already, sp those poor babys have been left alone screaming and untouched already. We can't change that, but we can change the future!!
I totally agree with you but there is also the fact that those parents will now never get back those few months that should have been the most special of their lives and not the most painful!! I could have cried when i heard them trying to tell the little girl that she couldn't cuddle her sister/brother - that is cruel and very,very wrong! |
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quote: Claire Verity
I don't believe it. She is a celebrity. We have to ban her, I am seriously. |
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Clare Verity is quite upfront, she's doing it for the parent that wants their previous life back. She's does a job and she's paid for it, it's contractual and to her it would seem that is all there is to it. Claims to harm the baby to her would seem unsubstantiated. And indeed, whilst they go against almost everyone's natural inclinations, it would be hard not only to identify any claimed long term harm, but even more so to establish its cause as that specific treatment.
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The more I read all your comments, the more confidence I have that I have done the right thing for my baby girl! You can't believe the relief that I feel! Maybe the 50's woman's actions are a blessing in disguise... I think her evil methods will become so unpopular she will have to change her vocation... prison guard maybe?
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