This is my second post since the show ended tonight and like many others, I logged on right away and regestered as i was so upset by what i saw. I am having difficulty expressing my feelings on this subject as they are so strong and there are so many different aspect of this method of childcare that upset me. I am pleased to see that so many people feel as I do and are all doing a very good job expressing my feelings for me.

I feel bad for the parents who chose this method on the programme as they clearly knew they had made a mistake as they sat in tears listening to their baby cry through closed doors and seemed to want so badly to attend to their baby. I so hope they do not regret allowing this women to deprive them of the precious first days with the baby they created but it saddens me as I am confident that they will.

Unbelievable! I've never heard such a load of rubbish in my 9 yrs and 3 children's worth of parenting. Can't put into words how disgusted i am and, like many, have never posted on a forum before. Hope channel 4 really take note of the activity here this eve. If they can change the big brother show then i'm sure they should (hopefully !)take our precious babies as seriously. Or is it all about viewing figures?......

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Originally posted by CASWOODS:
I was appalled at Claire Verity and think it's a sad reflection on today's society that she has become successful by teaching this abusive method. Whatever happened to our natural instincts? The new mum was upset because her instincts were being supressed by that woman, but I noticed that even Claire tried to comfort the MUM when she cried - why? - because that's what to do when someone's upset Claire, so you just disproved your own theories! I'm so pleased to see how many people disagree with her and would like to know just how qualified she really is for people to actually follow her advice.

Glad you siad that. I noticed that too and thought the same. Is she not going against her principles. Why is an adult allowed to be comforted and NOT a newborn. That's mixed up...

We are a continuum/attachment family and have a 10month girl, Ellie. Yes, this style of parenting can be tough, but oh my goodness it is sooo worth the effort. We have a happy, contented, explorative, inquisitive, smiley baby who knows and trusts that her parents will provide exactly what she needs and wants. This is paramount in the first year of a baby's life. The benefits of this style of parenting are so far reaching and are for the long-term as well as short term.

The point is not to make an easy life for us as parents, or even specifically to have a baby who is happy 'just now' but really to lay the foundations for someone who will as an adult be able to devlop healthy relationships and have a good grasp of her own self-worth.

For us, just making a baby who is happy just now isnt the aim, but is part of it.

Our instincts are there for a reason and just as we trust ours, we trust Ellie's instincts too and so respond to her needs.

Miriam, Barry & Ellie ( still slung, still breast-fed and still sleeps with mum and dad and will keep doing so)

Surely we should be positive about these and give these credit instead?! Isn't this what Verity wants?[/QUOTE]

I have brought up 4 boys following the mian principles of the continuum concept - my youngest is 3 months and asleep in the sling as we speak. I also run my own company which includes running training courses and my babies go with me - I breast feed on cue and have done so in tescos, on the train and even during a presentation to mdiwives!!! i am not a hippy at all - quite the opposite but I value and cherish my motherhood and believe so strongly in the importance of bonding and a sense of securtiy and rightness for my kids - none of them have been clingy - they all told me when tey wanted to get out of the sling (around 4 months) and have then had a wonderful independance and confidence about them,they have gone to their own beds when they were ready, they have stopped breastfeding when they were ready and so on. My life has not stopped at all - they have all been a wonderful extension to my life, just as it should be.

I have no words that express my saddness at what claire Verity is doing, only hope that instinctive parents will see her for what she is - a self seeking, self promoting woman who has sadly never expereinced the true joy of bringing life into this world.

ps - the sling on the programme is fab and was designed by the expert on the programme.

well i would like to know LOVELOVE because once a parent you would do anything for your beautiful baby.love and comfort is the most acheivable thing.

I am also not normally a forums gal, but like so many out there I felt I had to respond. I am horified at the way Clare Verity is suggesting new parents bring up their children. I have a 14 year old ( I was 19 when I had him) and did the teenage wing-it method! I also have a 2 1/2 year old and 4 month old twins, they have all been a mix of vague routine with lots of love and hugs. Who on earth would want to miss out on that close physical contact with a newborn?? My 4 month old twins already seem to be passed the newborn stage, it is so precious and lasts for such a short time, who cares about sleepless nights - it's part of what you sign up for! It scares me to think that new parents might acctually consider this as a viable parenting method. I found myself squealing and gasping right through her sections! Perhaps the programme should have gone out with a viewer warning!

We got our sling from babaslings having stopped someone in the street who had their baby in one. It's similar to the cloth ones in the programme, but has a nice simple and modern plastic push buckle fastening (like you get on rucsacs) which makes it very easy. Another website that features lots of varieties of sling is littlepossums.

The other major name in childcare for us is Dr Sears, we've found a lot of help and reassurance in his books and one AskDrSears - he's a lot like Spock in that he and his wife speak from experience and are very concerned not to blame parents for choices they have to make. He helps you understand how to be an attached parent but accepts that nobody can do it all, all the time.

I am so thinking about the poor parents. They seemed lost and like they went against some of their instincts. I'd love to email them and tell them that. Even feel like sending them flowers...

I have written a complaint using their contact us option and am now off to snuggle my beautiful son. Thank god so many people agree that this woman is pure evil and big kisses to baby Mia in the hope she has not been permenatly scarred!

i have alo made a complaint and am off to snuggle my daughter

I have never logged onto a forum before but my feelings of horror were so strong that I have to do something before I go to bed! I am relieved that so many other people feel the same way but I also think that Channel 4 may have been negligent. I am a child clinical psychologist and know about the latest research on child development. Skin to skin touch and eye contact are vital to the brain development of a baby, and allow the baby to learn ways of regulating their emotions. There is extensive neuro-developmental research on this, and the value of skin to skin contact is well known in neonatal units. We did not know about these things in the 1950s but we do now. Can I refer Channel 4 (and anyone else who is interested) to a book called 'Why Love Matters' by Sue Gerhardt (I don't know her personally!). It isn't a book on parenting but about the effect that love and affection have on the developing infant's brain. I don't know how the series will pan out but some of the negative effects of restricting a baby to such a cold routine may not be evident by the age of 3 months.

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with all the previous views.we should form a alliance to stop such antiquated views on child care.if one parents takes on board claires views? it would be one to many!we need to stamp this out before parents abuse there children under the guise of entertainment?

everybody...just please go and complain

One more....babies don't manipulate. They don't think yet. They simply express needs....hunger, cold, sleepy, dirty diaper, and yes LONELY! Babies need love and attention because they get lonely. After 10 months (40 weeks = 10 months)in the womb they don't want to be relegated to the back garden because they are an incontinence or they might interfere with your lifestyle. For goodness sake if you feel this 50's method is for you please consider placing your child in a loving new adoptive home. Or do us a favour and don't spawn. We don't want to deal with your socially inept, lonely, insecure adult babies that will surely be in therapy.

I am in no way justifying Clare Verity's methods, I am a mother of four and wouldn't dream of doing the things she advocates. However to bring a balance to this argument I would say that as a baby myself in the sixties, I was in all reality reared the 'Clare way' and I don't believe that i have emotional problems. I am also horribly healthy and yes, my mother used to wrap me up and leave me out in my pram for hours!!

althought I was upset by what i saw tonight and am angry with channel 4 for showing the programme, i am also glad they did. I felt the programme showed that women as what she is, crule. I hope this series will put her out of buisness and rid families of her neglectful ways.

I swear my sister in law uses that 1950s woman as her bible. At least I now know it's not down to her 'motherly instincts'.

i have just complained and in my opinion this series should be pulled from the show - I personally do not want to endure any more of what the woman has to offer.

we do semi-attached parenting and have found that perfectly satisfactory. Our little one is confident, out going and has been trying to talk since he was 15 months.

Just do what you need to do to reduce the crying and develop a strong bond and lots of trust

Iaf 2

I had exactly the same thoughts, being a child clinical psychologist myself. Robin Balbernie's work on infant brain development and attachment clearly shows distinct differences in the brains of babies who have emotional needs met within early months of life. I too was horrified to see the infats put outside, left to cry and ignored for hours with no physical affection or eye contact. As you say, much of this psychological reasearch is new, and as I mentioned earlier Bolwby's work was not also known in the 1950s. The approch shown tonight is antiquated and as you say, neglectful compromising a babies development.

With regards to putting babies out in the fresh air - I have no problem with that - I have done that with my son since birth and still do - however, there need to be certain conditions - they are not abandoned, but supervised - this can be from afar - and responded to if necessary, that the outdoor area is safe and secure eg fenced in back garden, and that they are well wrapped if it is cold, in the shade if it is hot, and finally, safety equipment used eg catnets etc

What's 'semi-attached' parenting? What is wrong with being 100% focussed on your baby and 100% attached to them? This doesn't mean keeping them in your pocket 24/7 but acknowledges that they are the most important thing in your life. I have a very hard time dealing with 'text book' approaches to parenting. Respond to that child as a unique individual who can only ever be truly damaged if it is starved of love.

I have never joined a forum before but felt compelled after watching this last night.
Please can someone advise Claire Verity to read about Bowlby’s attachment theory. Also “Why love matters" by Sue Gerhardt ISBN-10: 1583918175 this more recent book is about how affection can actually shape a baby’s brain development. Sue Gerhardt is a psychotherapist but has also drawn on new medical evidence in her book.
How can people learn to relate to each other if the most important person in their formative years IGNORES them!!!

I DO NOT UNERSTAND WHY PEOPLE HAVE BABIES IF THEY DONT HAVE THE TIME OR CARE TO PUT IN THE LOVE A BABY NEEDS! A BABY IS A GIFT AND SPENT EVERY MOMENT OF THEIR LIVES AWAKE BEING LOVED. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR CHILD DIED AT 1 AND ALL YOU DID WAS SPEND A FEW MINUTES CUDDLING WHEN YOU COULD HAVE CUDDLED THEM EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY?????? ITS NEGLECT BORDING ON ABUSE TO TREAT A NEWBORN LIKE CLARE VARITY DOES.