My dad died on 6th May (17 weeks ago). I have a mum and three sisters left in the family.Only a couple of days ago my mum announced she has now found someone else, she assures me it only happened recently.We had all been a close family, my eldest two sisters are happy for her but I feel nothing but disgust for her.I can't believe she would do such a thing.I am not against her finding someone eventually but I feel that she couldn't of loved dad that much to be seeing someone else so soon.

My problem is I am very overweight have no self-confidence and I'm really shy.I have no friends and keep myself to myself.I relied on my family alot and my dad was always there for me, I saw him almost everyday and we'd sit and chat.My mum says that if I don't be nice to this new man then she doesn't want me in her house or anywhere he is.I need my family more than anything now I have lost my dad but i can't bring myself to even meet this new guy and I think its just going to leave me left out if I don't.

Anyone been in this situation and managed to get through it?

I dont blame you for not wanting to meet this man, I would probably feel the same way. But dont be too hard on your mum - she has just lost her husband and perhaps she's been feeling lonely. I do think however that she's being a bit harsh by telling you that if you arent nice to him then she doesnt want you in her house. Maybe you should explain to her that you've nothing against this man and you just need some time to get used to the situation. Tell her you need her to be there for you as you are grieving too.

thanks for your advice, hopefully i can try to be nice to him.

Had a chat with mum and she said she is going to make more of an effort to help.

thanks again

quote:

Originally posted by BISCUIT:
thanks for your advice, hopefully i can try to be nice to him.

Had a chat with mum and she said she is going to make more of an effort to help.

thanks again

no probs hun. hope things get better for you soon. xx

You won't ever 'get over' your dad but you will learn to live without him.

Hi Ilrush,

do you really think so? I hope so, my dad died last Jan, and I still keep going to pick the phone up to ring him.....especially on Sunday afternoons, cos I always did that for years....I give myself a mental kick when I realise what I'm doing....

hey, my dad died 4 1/2 years ago when i was 14, it was the worst experience of my life, all people kept sayin to me was "it will get better", and i didn't think it would, but believe me it does, it just takes time and u learn to live without them as things change! you don't forget and i always think about him, but it gets easier!

you're so right, it takes time, maybe I'm rushing myself too much, time heals the pain but you don't forget is so true, at the mo though I feel so bl**dy angry all the time, I know I am, and I keep trying to jolly myself out of this but not winning.......time.....give it time.....I'll keep saying that to myself....

my dad died 5 years ago and had split from my mum 20 years ago ,he lived alone and i became his carer 4 the last 10 years of his life .it was like looking after a baby i had 2 bath him feed him etc ,he lived 15miles away from me and i had 2 juggle caring 4 him 4 times a day and looking after 4 kids and taking them 2 school,but u no wot i wouldnt have changed a thing ,he didnt want 2 move in with me he wanted his bit of independance that he had left.but i still jump in the car and drive pass his old home .its my way of coping with the loss and the bit empty gap left in my every day routine

I really don't know how you coped with all that LL, it must have been so very difficult, but you did and I give you a medal....Must have left a heck of a whole in your life after caring so closely for him, he must have been very proud and grateful to you that you did all that for so long so he could keep his dignity and stay in his own home....*big pat on the back for you and a ((hugz))

i didnt manage just coped,there was days when i couldnt b bothered just if i didnt do it no one would .how i c it is that when ive needed him in the pass he was always there so it was my way of paying him back plus he was my dad and i loved him and still love him

My father died 11 years ago and it's still hard, not a day goes by when i don't think of him, all the little things that just remind you of him, but i don't cry when i think about him, i smile.
I was 17 when he died and i thought my world would end. There have been times when i really needed him, what i wouldn't give to just have him hug me one more time.
Buscuit your mums not trying to hurt you or disrepect your father in anyway, she's just dealing with her grief and trying to find her way back to some sort of normal

My dad died many years ago now, But i still miss him desperately, it gets easier but you never forget, hon.

quote:

Originally posted by lady lil:
i didnt manage just coped,there was days when i couldnt b bothered just if i didnt do it no one would .how i c it is that when ive needed him in the pass he was always there so it was my way of paying him back plus he was my dad and i loved him and still love him

Lil, you here to and PPP, whose following who. ,

im following u and u following ppp trying 2 find out where her shed is lol