shall start again as i was saying my boyfriend asked me to marry him just under two months ago and last weekend his brother asked his girlfriend to marry him, they have set a date for next summer and yesterday asked my partner to be an usher, i am really upset about all this am i being selfish? we werent even asked if we had set a date for our wedding.
Harsh but true, if the timing of "when" you got married was important, you and your beloved really should have set a date.
Your brother-in-law-to-be and his beloved don't really owe it to anyone else to wait.
There's no rule that says the second set of people to get engaged have to wait until the first couple get married before they can.
Try and shrug it off as the unimportant thing it is and concentrate on making your day happy.
Do try to avoid any kind of competition or upstaging games with the other couple. It is every couple's right to expect to be centre of attention on their special day.
In some ways, it could be a blessing, you and her can bore each other with the minutae of the respective wedding plans and stresses rather than tick off all your friends. Once you set a date, the wedding planning does tend to take over and be all that you talk about, it won't be long before you notice friends' eyes glazing over once you get started on the planning for your day; be kind to them and remember they will get their revenge when it's their turn.
If things are getting petty at this early stage, you'll end up on a very rough ride. Don't let your potential pettiness or anyone elses ruin their or your day. None of this matters in the big scheme of things.
Here's hoping all goes really well for you (and them) and that you both have happy wedding days).
My sister had this problem with her husbands brother and his incredibly competitive fiancee. They were not even getting married till my sister and fiancee announced their engagement and then they set their date just one month before my sister's just to get one up. It was hurtful and my sister was upset, quite rightly, like you are. It eventually turned into a competition to see who could get the best wedding, it was a bit pathetic!! Just get on with yours and forget about theirs, it is meant to be a happy occasion, don't let them spoil it. Good luck and congratulations!
My sister's went really well in the end too. It is horrible trying to compete with somebody else though, ruins it a bit. Why people have the need to turn happy occasions into a competition I'll never know!
