The baby years are so short arn't they? I would like to know how each method prepares children for childhood experiences beyond sleeping through the night. For example the first day at school, friendships, behaviour, eagerness to learn, problem solving ....the list is endless. I know that struggling through the baby days by putting my children first has made me able to step back and really enjoy them and my life now. Does anyone else think that the methods they choose helped or hindered their children's development?

I'm biased, I would say :
1. 1950's method = evil and should be actually made illegal. I can't even begin to rant enough about this.
2. 1960's method = not so bad but the mentor on the program suggested that it's best to breastfeed a baby in a public toilet so pretty much thumbs down. Also, in view of watching the program - one of the mothers "Oh I should put him in his cot but I really like holding him" ..on the basis of that - if Spock says to follow your instincts, what are you doing going against that? I think he had too many conflicting theories on were what best and the book is incredibly confusing.
3. It's what mother nature suggested before we had books, wonder why we stopped in favour of having to READ about what a baby needs instead of following what we were doing right in the first place?

quote:

Originally posted by already in use by another registered mem: I would like to know how each method prepares children for childhood experiences beyond sleeping through the night. For example the first day at school, friendships, behaviour, eagerness to learn, problem solving ....the list is endless.

My eldest daughter started school this September. She has been "continuumed" since she was about a year old. She has been in nursery since she was nealry six months old (you don't have to be a stay at home mum to pratcice the theories in the continuum concept). On her first day at "big girl school" (having turned 4 less than two weeks before) I tok her into her classroom, helped her find her coat peg, put her lunch box with the others, and find her drawer and put her book bag in it. She then looked around the room, turned to me and said "It's ok, you can go now Mummy". I had to ask for a kiss goodbye. There have been no tears, every day she tells me about a new "best friend", including several that are in the years above her.

Holding her, sleeping with her, carrying her in a sling (which I did from about 4 months of age) etc have not made her clingy and dependant, in fact, she is the opposite.

so it's no co-incidence that my 4 year old who was also raised in this way said 'ok bye bye mummy'. I have recently sent my 18 month old to a playgroup, I said that I would be back soon and she said 'bye bye', blew a kiss to me watched me leave and in the chaos of 4 other toddlers screaming and trying to get out of the door, she played happily until I came to get her.

As a CC mum of 7. Ditto here. Huge confidence, my eldest is 17 now and empathic, stalwart, confident, capable and all of them are like this. Over and over at school the reports back from the teachers are 'your child is a product of his upbringing' kind of stuff and very positive.

I have an 8, 5 and 18 month old. My 8 year old is so caring and empathetic. When a boy in his class started bullying and hitting, instead of judging the boy as bad, my son (who was 5 at the time) worked out that perhaps this boy was lonely and didn't understand how to get people to play with him. He thought this boy must be sad. I was so proud he could work that out and considered why the boy may behave like this.
I'm certain this is because I have always considered his feelings and acted accordingly to him.
I hate toddler groups and playgrounds, it's full of parents moaning how awful their children are, what trouble they are, inconvenient for them...all in ear shot. What do you expect when you talk about them like that, when the person they adore and rely upon more than anyone else puts them down at every opportunity?

I watched BUB last night, and after reading some peoples ideas on the forum, has made me want to speak out. Controlled crying, should not be made illegal, as it is the one thing that saved my sanity. I have a 3 year old daughter and a set of identical twins who will be 1 in 2 months.
After having my daughter, I spoke with my mum, and got her advice on bringing up children, and we have used controlled crying throughout our family. This does not mean, that I don't have cuddle and bonding time with any of my children, but it does mean that I will be able to go and cook the dinner and do the washing, and still be able to keep a house. I had my twins 6 weeks early, due to complications, and they were in SCIBU (Special Care)for almost 2 weeks after I was discharged from the hospital. This did not hinder my bonding with the children, and all the nurses in SCIBU put the boys onto a 4 hourly routine for me, and trust me when I say that if you have twins, then you should know, that time is extremely precious, especially when you do not have any immediate family around to help you, and you can not afford to have paid help. I do believe that sometimes the 50's method may seem a bit harsh, but you were a person before you had your baby, and you should never stop being that person, just because you are a parent. You can still be a great parent, just because you are not holding your baby and running around after them all the time. They will sleep when the want to sleep, and if they feel like crying, then let them.
I think a combination of all three methods can be used and can be successful, but no one should be made to feel guilty for using one over the other, and I feel the only thing that should be made illegal, is other people being to closed minded to consider why certain methods may need to be used.

I have a gorgeous boy of 3.4 years old. I don't know much about Continuum and had never heard of it until this programme (so may be one thing GOOD that has come out of this awful programme is that some of us will like the Continumm method and use it). I am very familiar with the work of Dr Sears and Elizabeth Pantley who are American advocates of Attachment Parenting (AP) and have instintively followed the AP route. In fact the reason I started reading their work was so that I could find the OPPOSITE of Gina Ford (whose book I read when I was pregnant because I didn't know anything about parenting, what a mistake that was !!)

I knew that the Gina way was wrong the minute my son was born. I very quickly realised that it was detrimental to demand feeding a bf baby and bonding with him the way I wanted to. Dr Sears and Pantley are very pro-bf having bf their own children. Furthermore, NO CONTROLLED CRYING IS ALLOWED IN AP. AP advocates going by instinct and bonding rather than routines of force and neglect.

I don't think AP is very different from Continuum, I think that whereas Continuum became fashionable in the 70's AP is more recent perhaps but essentially the same, i.e. breastfeed excl. for 6 months and up to 2 years and longer if you can, carry baby often, either sling or lots of carrying and cuddling, co-sleep in the same bed or same room, don't smack, don't shout, give the baby/child lots of confidence and independence through all these things, don't punish, no naughty steps, teach moral values by example and discussion, have a good balanced diet, no junk food, etc. Interestingly they also believe that children who are labelled as having a "behaviour problem" are often wrongly labelled, the problem lies with the way they have been raised and possibly their diet. I found this fascinating because there is a lot of recognition that a bad diet can lead to an unhappy child. In AP neglect and punishment or any form are seen as counterproductive and detrimental.

My son has been bf for the past 3.4 years, not a drop of formula has ever past his lips. My instict always told me that a healthy baby/child = a happy baby/child. My personal experience with bf has been that because my son has been so healthy (touch wood) he has been less likley to become clingy and frustrated. We did have a year or so of tantrums, but about 4 months ago they suddenly stopped. The way I dealt with the tantrums was through lots of hugging and kissing, distraction, and letting him know that I understood how difficult it was to communicate. He is bilingual which means that he is not speaking a fluently in either language or as quickly as a monolingual child. Communication problems lead to tantrums and I was very quick to realise this with my son. As his language skills have developed the tantrums have totally disappeared.

The healthier your body the healthier your mind. I often see children of friends who are constantly sick with one virus or the other - they tend to be very difficult, clingy children. As they get older it seems to stay with them. I have also noticed that children who show problems (lots of physical aggression towards other children) seem to have parents who don't spend much time playing with them (i.e. pre-school children).

As a family we are naturally tactile and enjoy all forms of kissing and huggung and touch. I think this too has had an amazing effect on my son. He is very emotionally tuned in to our moods as we are to his because of the very close physical bond we have.

He is now going to a private nursery with around 10 other children since Sept. He is the youngest there yet the commments I get from the teachers is that he doesn't cry when he falls or gets bruised, he is confident and independent. I have been told that he learns new skills at icredibly fast rate and is generally very "on the ball". I have also always received positive comments from the parents of children in the playgrounds and playgroups that we used to go to that he is non-aggressive and that although some parents of girls are worried their daughters will get hit by the boys, their daughetrs are very happy to play with my son : )