Why is there such pressure to "get your life back"?? Why do people think that we should have babies and within weeks be out in the pub, or dancing til 4am?
My big question is, if you don't want your life to change (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/B/bringing_up_baby/baby_1.html "FANS: Mothers going back to work, Parents who don't want their lives disrupted by the arrival of a baby") why are you having a baby??????
Sigh!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Nestle boycotting,nappy washing, co-sleeping, baby wearing, home birthing, tandem nursing Momma
Routines are for dancers, shedules are for trains
Attachment Parenting; the radical notion that babies and children are people too!!
the whole reason of having a kid is to spend time with it wen its born, u should not let no other person tell u how to do that. spend every little bit of time with your baby, i know i will be wen i have kids.
here here!!!! although have to disagree with the going back to work comment. i have to go back to work or i will be unable to pay the mortgage etc ... its devastating for me but im only gong part time and she will be with her nanny and grandad .. no way a child minder or day care!!
I have returned to work whe both of mine were almost 6 months old. They go a nursery as it is actually closer to a tribal/continuum situation, with several well known carers in a large group of other children than a single family member in a home environment. That and by using the onsite nursery I was able to continue breastfeeding them at lunchtime until they were well past a year old, which not only allowed me to see them and spend time with them (so not be seperated for 8 hours at a time) but also reduced the amount of expressing I had to do.
It is perfectly possible to "continuum" your children and work, you just have to be careful with your childcare and adapt to the changes that going back to work brings.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Nestle boycotting,nappy washing, co-sleeping, baby wearing, home birthing, tandem nursing Momma
Routines are for dancers, shedules are for trains
Attachment Parenting; the radical notion that babies and children are people too!!
I think it's wonderfull that you, continuum momma, having known you would have to go back to work continued to use the continuum method the best way you could when returning to work. You obviously knew what was the best and most natural way of raising your children and made the effort to keep it that way. I have the fortunate position of being able to be a stay at home mum and use the continuum method which I have to say is probably the easiest method anyway! EASIEST, my partner and I both agree!!! Especially now we can see the result of a wonderfull, content, well behaved happy chappy.
Originally posted by Continuum Momma: Why is there such pressure to "get your life back"?? Why do people think that we should have babies and within weeks be out in the pub, or dancing til 4am?
My big question is, if you don't want your life to change (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/B/bringing_up_baby/baby_1.html "FANS: Mothers going back to work, Parents who don't want their lives disrupted by the arrival of a baby") why are you having a baby??????
Sigh!!
agree 100%, my life has changed and i would never want it to change back since having my little cheeky chappie!
As a mum of older children you never get your life back, Thats why you have children to have a family life, It from wheres my milk i'm hungry to years later do you know wheres my PE kit and whats in fridge? If you anyone thinks they,re life will go back to how it was before children. Buy a Baby Annabel doll at least you turn it off and shove back in its box
When I think about the parents following the methods of Claire Verity I just want to cry. To think of all those precious weeks they're missing out on not bonding properly with their new babies is horrifying. They'll never have that time again and I just wish they could see how important it is for both their babies and themselves. Someone please stop this woman!
grrr where do I start?? I have been meaning to get online since I started watching the programme. What is it about people expecting their lives to carry on as normal when they have a baby?? Surely, as people have already said on this site, that is the point of having children?! My daughter was born in March and she has had the BIGGEST impact on my life. I have found myself a pt job so that I can give up my FT long hours position (which I understand not everyone can do, and believe me its going to be tough!). Apart from the nights she has expressed milk given by my husband I haven't had a full nights sleep in nearly 7 months but I am not complaining!! I am not expecting this little person to adapt to suit us, she is a baby - not a machine! Our lives have been turned upside down by her, the house is unlike we have ever known it and she takes up a lot of our time, love and affection but I would not have it any other way. I breastfed on demand and never found it a chore and initially we were led by her and similar to Dr Spock we kind of followed our instinct. I am so sick and tired of the people that asked from more or less week 2 are you in a routine? Is she sleeping through?? We get asked it all the time. What is the recent fascination with routines and baby sleeping through? Don't get me wrong, she does have a bedtime routine and we try to ensure she has naps at around the same time everyday but its for her good, certainly not ours!!! I was almost in tears last night as I watched those twins starved, then woke up early then having bottles rammed down their throats. I was so upset about it. This woman needs to be stopped and no disrespect to the mother of the twins, but there is NO WAY I could have let her do that to my babies. The programme would have been over as I kicked her down the road! And while I'm here, I don't know where CV gets her info from but it makes absolutely no difference how big or small a woman or her breasts are, any mother can breast feed. Its just mothers who don't want to bf trying to make it look like they have an excuse - if you don't want to then fine but be big enough to admit rather than try to blame your body! Ok, rant over!!
I totally agree! Yes it is hard, and there are times where you really want a good night sleep, but our lives are more enriched with the arrival of our little girl. You do start a new chapter in your lives, you a parent, nothing will be normal again! What is normal! I would hate to go back to it myself!
Originally posted by Continuum Momma: Why is there such pressure to "get your life back"?? Why do people think that we should have babies and within weeks be out in the pub, or dancing til 4am?
My big question is, if you don't want your life to change (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/B/bringing_up_baby/baby_1.html "FANS: Mothers going back to work, Parents who don't want their lives disrupted by the arrival of a baby") why are you having a baby??????
Sigh!!
A baby is not supposed to take over your life and if you have a job or a hectic life style that you need to get back into quickly them im all for routeen not everyone is the same and it doesnt mean because you have routeen you dont love you baby!
You appear to have a strange view on what parenthood entails Kate - surely when you have a baby your life changes and isn't the same again? Or is a hectic lifestyle more important?
Mummyto2 - just because people have hectic lifestyles does not mean that they should not have children! My life is hectic, I have two children but my life is not over - yes it has changed, and for the better but why is having a hectic lifestyle so bad???
Originally posted by karen999: Mummyto2 - just because people have hectic lifestyles does not mean that they should not have children! My life is hectic, I have two children but my life is not over - yes it has changed, and for the better but why is having a hectic lifestyle so bad???
Im not being funny but we are woman and can multitask! and juggle parent hood and careers alls im sayin is that yeah a baby changes a life but it shouldnt stop you fro acheiving what you want in life!
Yes, nothing wrong in achieving what you want...aslong as it's not at the expensive of others' lives!
You don't need a strict routine to get on with your life....if anything it hinders a mother's life. We can go out spur of the moment, stay out late, go eat out, go to festivals...etc We don't have to be back at a certain time for a nap in a darkened room, I don't look at a clock to see what time I can give a bottle (I have convenient breasts instead). I get on with what I need to do, and baby comes too. My babies are attached me, I am their security so aslong as we are together we are happy.
Originally posted by moogyboobles: Yes, nothing wrong in achieving what you want...aslong as it's not at the expensive of others' lives!
You don't need a strict routine to get on with your life....if anything it hinders a mother's life. We can go out spur of the moment, stay out late, go eat out, go to festivals...etc We don't have to be back at a certain time for a nap in a darkened room, I don't look at a clock to see what time I can give a bottle (I have convenient breasts instead). I get on with what I need to do, and baby comes too. My babies are attached me, I am their security so aslong as we are together we are happy.
Originally posted by Continuum Momma: Why is there such pressure to "get your life back"?? Why do people think that we should have babies and within weeks be out in the pub, or dancing til 4am?
My big question is, if you don't want your life to change (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/B/bringing_up_baby/baby_1.html "FANS: Mothers going back to work, Parents who don't want their lives disrupted by the arrival of a baby") why are you having a baby??????
Sigh!!
A baby is not supposed to take over your life and if you have a job or a hectic life style that you need to get back into quickly them im all for routeen not everyone is the same and it doesnt mean because you have routeen you dont love you baby!
I have a hectic life, even more so since I had my children, I work, have a veteran pony to care for and manage to find time for a few hobbies and interests of my own. However, this hasn't meant that I had to force my babies into a routine or feed them bottles of formula (like Moogy, I have these incredibley convenient breasts that allow me to feed my babies when ever and where ever they needed it. My sling has allowed me to "wear" my baby and get on with the things I want/need to do.
However, I have not been to the pub very much since I had my children, although we do eat out fairly regularly, (we simply take them with us) and I've not thrown any loud drunken parties since they were born either, as I am happy to put this aspect of my life on hold whilst my "babies" are small and need me.
My point, Kate and Karen, is that if you still want to go to the pub every weekend or out for meals "just the two of you" or have late, loud parties, then perhaps you are not yet ready to have children and should wait a few more years. This is the kind of "getting your life back" that I am talking about, not carrying on with the things you have to do, like go to work and care for your other children.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Nestle boycotting,nappy washing, co-sleeping, baby wearing, home birthing, tandem nursing Momma
Routines are for dancers, shedules are for trains
Attachment Parenting; the radical notion that babies and children are people too!!
Originally posted by Continuum Momma: Why is there such pressure to "get your life back"?? Why do people think that we should have babies and within weeks be out in the pub, or dancing til 4am?
My big question is, if you don't want your life to change (http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/B/bringing_up_baby/baby_1.html "FANS: Mothers going back to work, Parents who don't want their lives disrupted by the arrival of a baby") why are you having a baby??????
Sigh!!
A baby is not supposed to take over your life and if you have a job or a hectic life style that you need to get back into quickly them im all for routeen not everyone is the same and it doesnt mean because you have routeen you dont love you baby!
I have a hectic life, even more so since I had my children, I work, have a veteran pony to care for and manage to find time for a few hobbies and interests of my own. However, this hasn't meant that I had to force my babies into a routine or feed them bottles of formula (like Moogy, I have these incredibley convenient breasts that allow me to feed my babies when ever and where ever they needed it. My sling has allowed me to "wear" my baby and get on with the things I want/need to do.
However, I have not been to the pub very much since I had my children, although we do eat out fairly regularly, (we simply take them with us) and I've not thrown any loud drunken parties since they were born either, as I am happy to put this aspect of my life on hold whilst my "babies" are small and need me.
My point, Kate and Karen, is that if you still want to go to the pub every weekend or out for meals "just the two of you" or have late, loud parties, then perhaps you are not yet ready to have children and should wait a few more years. This is the kind of "getting your life back" that I am talking about, not carrying on with the things you have to do, like go to work and care for your other children.
Yeah ok but my point is that child has two parents! so you can still do what you want to do!
Did I say that I go to the pub every weekend? Or even have loud parties? NO! I have had three nights out since my youngest was born....once for my birthday, twice for my partners birthday and third for my graduation....!
The fact that my baby was sleeping soundly in her bed before I went out meant that I relaxed and enjoyed my night out....did my baby suffer? No, she did not even know that I had been away.
My life is fulfilled after having my children...I love and adore them.....and to ensure that my children have the best start in life I have put my career on hold and am a stay at home mum.....I never pass them onto someone else to look after and in my opinion this is the least that my children deserve......
