Not sure if this is the right place to post but wondered if anyone saw Mummy Diaries ?

It was an absolutely fantastic programme - amazing to see how families were facing the death of a mum with humour and warmth and such love for each other. Of course it was sad but somehow bearable because the families were so brave and honest and real and loving. Thanks so much to them for taking part and to the psychologist who seemed an inspired and inspiring person.

What an absolutely amazing programme. I think I cried from start to finish. I have so much admiration for the families for sharing with us what must be a very traumatic, private part of their lives. It makes me stop & realise how lucky I am to have my own health and I will try & think twice whenever I am about to moan about some of the trivial things I moan about on a day-to-day basis. I am a single parent with a young 10yr old son and it just doesn't bear thinking about if we found ourselves in a similar situation.

I missed it, will see if it is catch up TV tonight when the babes ate tucked up in bed.

I'm sure it will be - but make sure you have plenty of tissues at the ready. I couldn't go to bed straight away, I was too upset :-(

There's another two episodes I see..... as you say, makes one realise all the things you should be doing now, while you can

I lost my mum to cancer a few years ago when I was still pretty young (though not still a child it has to be said) and found this programme extremely touching.

In all honesty it was the first time ever in my life that a TV programme has made me cry, probably because I identified so strongly with the teenage son.

Even 4 years later my younger brother & my Dad still find my mum's death too upsetting to even mention; I think we would have really benefitted from the approach this programme described.

I did not see it - was it on last night? Does anyone know if they will be showing it again?? Mind you, programmes like these can upset me for days...

Not sure if they will repeat this particular episode, but as Cumbrian said, there are another 2 episodes to follow. Do you have any sort of digital TV, you might be able to see it in something like Catch Up TV, if you're a Virgin Media customer.

Jimmy, I know what the bond is like between me & my son and I know that if he lost me, he would be absolutely devastated so I can imagine how you & your family must feel. Very brave of you to watch this programme.

quote:

Originally posted by DianeR:
Jimmy, I know what the bond is like between me & my son and I know that if he lost me, he would be absolutely devastated so I can imagine how you & your family must feel. Very brave of you to watch this programme.

Thanks - my wife told me not to watch as it would be too upsetting, guess she was right (don't tell her I said that though )

I'm one of the 5 mum's taking part in the documentary the "Mummy Diaries" and I just wanted to add a comment.

Whilst it might appear that the documentary is sad, I have watched 2 out of the 3 episodes and there has been some joy as well as sadness. Having met all the families, I think I speak for everyone when I say that we have thoroughly enjoyed making the series even though the subject matter deals with life and death. The children have also enjoyed taking part and I think they have received a lot of support from Julie Stokes and all those involved in making the programme. Julie Stokes is the founder of Winston's Wish which is a wonderful charity that offers support to children and families going through a bereavement.

www.winstonswish.org.uk

I do hope that a lot of women going through a similar experience can watch the documentary because it is about how families cope under immense stress when a family member has a terminal illness. I feel that the aim of the programme is to show how different people cope in this situation especially using some of the techniques that Julie Stokes has introduced such as the memory boxes and the mummy manual. In fact Julie suggests that all families create memory boxes even if they are not going through a similar situation. They can be great fun and the children love to go through the photos and cards.

We have tried to be as open with our children as possible but this does not suit everyone.

There was also an article in the Sunday Times (4 November) where Roland White wrote a piece about when his mother died. He said "I can still remember the heavy silence that fell in the car when I asked the question, How's Mummy?". He didn't go to his mother's funeral and was showered with gifts instead. To see the full article, follow this link:

http://women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women...s/article2799553.ece

I hope the documentary gives an insight into how other women are coping in this situation and that it helps fellow cancer sufferers know that they are not alone. I have been keeping a blog of my cancer experience, (the web address can be found in the Observer article) in the hope that it will help other people. I have had emails from people giving me words of encouragement and recently I received an email from a chap who had seen the article in the Observer and then went to my blog. He said that what I have been going through mirrors closely to his mother's experience and he was going to show her the blog because he didn't want her to feel alone which she sometimes seemed to.

While I watched the show, I wasn't sure I should've been watching something so intensely intimate. I'm not sure it is right to invade the privacy of the children in such a manner. How will they feel in later years that they had a camera thrust in their faces for the viewing pleasure of the nation while being told their mothers are about to die? I know the parents gave permission and willingly participated in the show, even if the children did initially, how might they feel as adults that their grief and confusion was shared with the nation? Did they respond in the way they would have had they not been filmed? What if, inside, they wanted to break down and cry but felt unable because they knew it was being recorded?

I don't know, I think this is an example of reality TV being taken a step too far, and an invastion into a moment that should be a private affair.

i watched the show tonight and i balled it was the saddest programme i ever seen but so touching at the same time i think ... the women were very brave as were the whole family and may that women r.i.p knowin she left her kids wit many memories to treasure x

My Grandma died of cancer seven years ago when I was twelve. I wish I had had the preparation demonstrated in this program. Although watching the Mummy diaries brought back painful memories, it was also very theraputic. The bond and love between all the families was beautiful. The Kyte family especially touched my heart, Vanessa's beauty and effortless grace was truly inspirational. She leaves behind her a two beautiful girls who clearly completed her life, and a husband braver than I could imagine ever being. My thoughts are with you and all the families featured on the program x

I watched the first episode with my 10 year old daughter, whose father is dying of cancer. I know this sounds shocking, and I was very doubtful about letting her watch it, but she insisted she wanted to see it. She told me afterwards that she found it helpful to see that she wasn't the only child in that situation, but was rather indignant that the families 'kept their children in the dark' for so long. She was very thankful that she has known as long as anyone else. However she decided she didn't want to see the second episode. She found the funeral very upsetting.

I have been watching this series and last week I cried like a baby whilst watching these brave women and their husbands and children.

The women are so dignified, I know if it was me who was in their situation I would have fallen to pieces.

I must congratulate channel 4 for bringing this programme to air and to the lady who (sorry I forget her name) counsels the families through this sorrowful process.

Absolutely brilliant! Heartwrenching, but brilliant.

It tackles a tough situation and a tough subject and the methods employed (memory boxes) should be made by ALL parents not simply those who are terminally ill. After all, none of us know when our time is up or if we'll be involved in a fatal car accident etc.

My own father died one month after my 6th birthday. All I remember is that I understood somehow that it was final and I wouldn't ever see him again. He wasn't spoken about; his personal belongings were given out to my brothers; photo's taken down. It was as if he had never existed at all. My mother wasn't being intentionally callous - she had 5 young children to bring up alone and was already middle aged. It must have been a dreadful time for her. What she didn't realise was, it was a dreadful time for me too and for a long time afterwards. To have had a piece of paper with his handwriting on it would be something. To have had any of his insights on having a daughter, me, would have blown my mind. I'll never know him, any of his thoughts, his feelings - it's like an empty room, vacated many years ago.

So, Bravo!, to all who have taken part, put it all together and for the pragmatic, yet sensitive manner it is being handled and most expecially, for the courage of the families participating.

I'd just like to say how amazing I found this series. My husband was diagnosed with cancer just over 2 years ago. In that time we have gone through all sorts of treatments, operations and traumas, and now know that his very rare cancer is terminal. We have 2 children of now 4 and a half and nearly 6. At the time he was diagnosed they were just 2 and 3, and trying to find any help at all of how on earth you explain to them what is happening was impossible. There were no sources of information, no leaflets, no books, no counsellors and no-one to talk to about what the hell you say to your very young children about the situation. It is great to see that things seem to be changing and people are more aware of the fact that children do indeed need to be part of the discussions, decisions and need to feel part of what's going on, not left out. I now know about Winston's Wish, and have looked at the website, but apart from this I'm not aware of any other organisations who help deal with very young children whose parents are dying.
I'd like to thank the makers of this series for bringing this to people's attention, and also for helping people like my family by giving us ideas and strategies for coping. I'd also like to ask if anyone knows of anywhere else other than Winston's Wish that could provide us with info or materials.

I have been watching the programme and have found it quite hard but also helpful. I lost my own Mum to cancer 17 yrs ago when I was 17, my sister was 16 & my little brother was only 10.
I really wish that we had someone like Julie Stokes around at the time to help us with what we were going through, she does great work.
We were never even offered bereavement councelling after our Mum died and 17yrs on I still find it very hard to deal with, maybe if I had a memory box I would be able to remember the good times & what my Mum looked like.