Thanks Lou, you are spot on. He seems to be growing out of it now. I got another full night of sleep over the weekend! Like you, I ended up taking him into bed with me after his first wake up of the night (hubby ended up on the sofa!), which worked - he could feed if he wanted to (yes, we're still bfing), but I think it was much more waking up and having me there that settled him down. I'm still having the same trouble with naps, though. I usually have to lie down on my bed to cuddle him to sleep, then transfer him to the cot when he's asleep, or nearly so.

Of course, my husband thinks the improvement is all down to the night I was so tired I didn't wake up when he cried at midnight, so hubby shut the door so I wouldn't wake and let him cry himself to sleep (only about 10 mins, apparently) He only admitted to doing this cos I was so happy thinking we'd made it to 4.30 without waking up, and he didn't want me all disappointed when it didn't happen again that night! (I've made him promise to wake me up if there's a next time - I don't like the idea of controlled crying either).

Good luck with the hammock. Let me know how it goes.

Ah bless - my hubby is the same - trying to balance making me happy and keeping him happy too! Love them!!

Naps are tricky for me too - I think possibly for everyone at some time or another - my view is that it all takes time and softly softly catchy monkey.... EVERYONE has something to say about it to me - it's a bit like the builder who comes in to survey a job (not all builders!) ..... I can;t spell the word but they scrtach their chin, shake their head and make a puffing noise and say things like 'it's going to cost you'!

I just take one day a t a time cos sure as damn it just when you think it is cracked then the next night goes to pot!

I think all the manuals try and put some sort of logic to everything but there is none - it's just trial and error and do what feels right.

I am sure he won;t have come to much harm for the 10 mins - I think it is the cumulative effect that doe sthe damage. It is interesting what Bidduplh says in his book about the levels of cortisol (stress hormone) in babies who are left to cry - and even when it looks like they are ok the levels of it are still through the roof. Poor little mites!

I am trying not to get too excited about the hammock and thinking that it is the complete answer, but I feel that it might help so we will see!

Oh and Boys are more troubled by separation anxiety from mum than girls are so that could go someway to explaining it too.

Hope tonight is a good one! xx

Nicky and anyone else who is interested - it arrived this morning - my gosh what a fabulous thing! Baby LOVES it - went off for his nap in 5 minutes compared to normally having to walk around for about 15 bouncing him up and down. It is fabulous! Hoping for good results at night too!!!

I have noticed that i think what it is with babies at this age is as soon as they start to get movement they move around a lot more but because they haven't got full movement or control of their bodies it frightens them or startles them - then they don;t know what is happening. This hammock solves that as they can;t move too far. the website I used is amby.co.uk (www in front!) but you can get them on Ebay.

WIll give you a further update later!

Sorry - don;t think that 2nd para made sense - I think they move in their sleep and if in a cot then they have more room and this actually startles them so they wake up. But because they can;t use their body in all ways yet, they can;t always get comfy again.

Babies innately expect to be near another human until they can make their own moves away. That is why they don't sleep particularly well when removed from what nature intended them to have.

Nickycky - few more quick suggestions:

Napping: If your babies overtired (maybe using a bit extra energy due to more crawling?), he'll find it difficult to get off to sleep. Try putting on some nice ‘chill out’ music and laying him down for a nap 10-15mins earlier than usual- even if he doesn't seem tired he might surprise you!!

Night time: I used to lift my baby and 'dream feed' him at around midnight - keep the room dark and quiet so he doesn't wake up too much. Also, it's crucial to ensure he's getting enough solids/milk during the day to stave off night-time hunger pangs – nearly all his meals should be ‘three courses’ as he’s growing so rapidly.

I know Gina Ford gets a really hard time on this forum, and agree that 'Contented Baby' has military routines, but it’s also got some really good common sense info on babies eating/sleeping cycles too. I believe it's well worth reading for this reason alone, as it sometimes points out obvious solutions when you 'can't see the wood for the trees'. The info on feeding solids, (when, what and how often), is also great. It's easy for mums to overlook some of the really 'good' info in this book because they find some of the other stuff that's in it so very off-putting.

Also, I don't see a problem with co-sleeping because of your weight. You're probably 'aware' of every sound your baby makes through the night, so I really don't think you're any more likely to roll-over and suffocate your baby than other mums! I'd probably advise that you and your baby take the double bed and relegate your partner to the single though - guys have an uncanny ability to sleep through a baby's cries! Since you seem to have plenty common sense, I'm sure you would avoid co-sleeping in particular situations, (over tiredness etc), that present a higher risk.

Fingers crossed for you!

I have been trying the controlled crying method for 10 nights and it doesn't seem to be working I am distressed to read it can actually harm your baby. My baby is 5.5 months old he cries for 20 - 30 minutes when put down then wakes on average 4 times through the night although does go straight back to sleep once I give him his dummy. Please can anyone give an alternative method to try so myself and my baby can have a peaceful nights sleep!

ClaireW79 - I have done CC too but I only had to do it for three nights. I have heard that it does not work for all babies and I think after 10 nights you are prob right to try something else. My first daughter slept in the bed with me as this was the only way that she would go to sleep. Unfortunately this lasted for years which is why I tried the CC method this time.

Sorry that I could not be of much help but there are lots of mums on this forum who I am sure will be along very shortly to give you some advice. Some mums wear their babies in a sling and co-sleep - have you thought of trying this? It's not a method I would choose but I am sure that those who use it will be able to give you excellent advice.

Good Luckxx

Have you got a nighttime routine in place, ClaireW79? You know, bath, pyjamas, story, feed, sleep, sorta thing? I still feed my boy to sleep (at 9 months) at the end of his routine - and he always goes down fine - even though he isn't always fully asleep by the time he's finished eating. (It's staying down that is our problem).

If you have a routine, maybe you could try making it more rigid (eg the same book every time), so he's crystal clear on what's expected, or changing his bedtime - start the routine half an hour later (or make it half an hour longer), and hopefully that'll be the half hour he usually spends crying taken care of!

Co-sleeping is brilliant IF you have an enormous bed (or no one but you and the baby in it, or the money to spend on side cots to attach to your bed), when the problem is hunger and you are breastfeeding. It's got me through my son being ill and separation anxiety (which I'm now pretty sure was the problem that made me start this thread). To be honest, it doesn't sound like that's your son's problem, as the dummy solves it.

Maybe a larger comforter than a dummy would help with the waking up side of the problem - a special blanket or cuddly toy perhaps - something he can find on his own when he wakes in the night, so he doesn't have to disturb you!

Best of luck - and remember - he will sleep through sooner or later. Everything they do is 'just a phase' really.

NEVER let a child into your bed. you'll have trouble geting them out! i made that mistake and it got so bad, my eldest slept on a fold out bed in my room till she was 7 because she wouldn't sleep in her room and i had her siser in my bed!

quote:

Originally posted by jet the jinx:
NEVER let a child into your bed. you'll have trouble geting them out! i made that mistake and it got so bad, my eldest slept on a fold out bed in my room till she was 7 because she wouldn't sleep in her room and i had her siser in my bed!

Rubbish. My oldest went into her own bed at 18 months of her own accord, her sister went at 12 months, also of her own accord.
Once they weaned themselves from the breast they toddled off to do their own thing.

excuse me? i'm talking about my experiences and didn't ask for your opinion as to whether it was rubbish or not

and good for you.

Yes and you used your experience to tell people to NOT do something.
I used mine to say that it worked for me.
I wasn't rubbishing you, just the sweeping statement that all children would be like that, they won't.

well i'm very sorry that we don't all have perfect children like yours there's a 50/50 chance, i was offering advice to someone else based on my experience... why the hell am i even saying anything? i couldn't even care less what you think

My children are far from perfect, I was very lucky with them when they were small is all.
They're shouty, stompy teenagers now, mainly independent and nice girls but they do drive me to distraction and make me cry too.
And the door slamming... *sigh*

Jet the Jinx - ROFL - have to say that I agree with you about the sharing bed thingy. I did this with my first daughter and like you she was still there at 7...which is why I made sure that I was not going there again.....I would advise anybody not to share a bed but then I follow a completely different method...shared a bed first time around and swore that I would never do it again.

Orangeboom -are your teenagers close in age? I ask because there were only two of us growing up (me and my sister) and we were like chalk and cheese, fought every day....but now are closer than ever......actually having children has made us closer than ever!!!

They're 13 and 16 and have always got on very well. Nothing like I was with my little brother (2 years younger), I'm shocked I never killed him - we're best mates now!