my son is 14 months old an has never slept thro the night, he goes to bed fine at 7 but then wakes anything up to 6 times a night. iam exhauted any one got any advice
my daughter was the same she never slept a night through until she was about 18 months!! its grim isnt it, but unless theres a reason for it i would just ignore his cries so he learns to go back off on his own. with out obviously letting him get in to a real state he makes him self poorly!!!
thanks 4 ur reply, he jus wakes screaming the only thing i have found that calms him is giving him another bottle, thats okay to get some peace but some nites im taking in 4 bottles. an this doesnt always work he can sometimes spend an hour crying b4 going back 2 sleep then 40 mins later hes awake again.
my life it sounds like my daughter lol, thats exactly what she was like! its just breaking the habbit of using comfort to go back to sleep, but i agree its just the easy way out by giving in because you know it will get you some peace for how ever long.
however it really is worth the nights of broken sleep by ignoring them when they finally realise there is no point waking up crying because you arent going to go running to them!
you could talk to your health visitor about it they are very encouraging and supportive with situations like this xx
Abrupt and rude, I hav read a few threads now where CM has posted answers, and this just seems to be her way, always with regard to SLEEPING as well, look at other posts. I think CM that you need to look the word ABANDONING OR ABANDON up in the dictionary my love!i.e. dump, ditch, discard, dispose of, throw out, throw away. Are you suggesting this is what HCC does to his/her child then? People have different methods of bringing up babies, (but you only seem interested in the way you brought you child/children up, i.e. comforting them 24/7), this is not possible with many families and we all have our own way of dealing with our own babies, but to say the child has been abandoned is outrageous! Maybe you should read your threads properly before you post them, we are all different and we all cope in our own little ways and comfort our babies in our own ways, please remember that CM, you only seem to see your own point, no one elses, then you upset a lot of people on these threads, I have read these threads and so have other mothers. Sorry to sound harsh, but people want friendly advice NOT harsh outrageous words thrown back at them, we all learn in different ways how to deal with our babies.
CM posts seems to have disappeared, does this happen a lot, it looks like my post does not make any sense - LOL, but I am sure it will make sense to those who have read the posts before they disappeared!
I fully understand, CM's theory is that we would have our children in our bed until they are ready to leave home lol. My in laws believe in the same things that CM does, they did not agree with me when I moved Katie to her own room.
Hows this for an antedote, one night Katie was crying a lot, my mother in law was staying with us at the time, my husband then hopped into bed with his mum as he could not sleep. Just what i would think would happen with CM type concepts he he
even tho her concept is not for me and i believe in little she has to say, if thats what she uses then fair enough, but i will not be told because i used controlled crying and bottlefed my babies that i am an 'horrific; mother who 'abandons' and 'neglects' her children and make them feel 'unloved'
this forum is for us all to SHARE our experiences and ideas and OFFER advice to each other not be told or tell each other we are WRONG! or show bad parenting skills.
Have you tried looking up night terrors? It might explain why he wakes.
I really would cut out the bottles one by one. Yes, it's peace for now but it's glossing over the problem. If he starts at a particular time each night, they recommend waking a little before to try break the cycle.
Oh, you poor thing tess23! I do think you need to find out WHY he is waking before you can fix it. It sounds to me like you might need to get him checked out by a doctor, in case it is a medical problem.
You could try watering down the contents of his nighttime bottles gradually, until he only gets water if he wakes up.
Or pushing back the time you let him have his (first bottle of) milk a little further every night (eg if he wakes for it at 1, wait till 1.15 for a couple of nights, then 1.30, etc) it means you spend a lot of time gritting your teeth and clock watching, thinking 'I could have fed him and gone back to sleep by now', but it worked for me - my son started waking later and later - until the morning I was woken by the alarm clock instead!
thanks all for ur replys, i have spoke to the health visitors all they could do was give me the 'controlled cying' programme im sure you will have all heard off it. i gave it a go an did absoluty nothin so we soon ended up going back to the bottles.
i know we need to stop the bottles i have stopped puttin him to bed wiv a bottle at night an he hasnt had a bottle through the night for the last 4 days but he stiil wakes.
iam pretty sure its not night terrors as he has never slept thro an these dont usually occur at such a young age. x
Hiya, I feel for you, you must be a very strong woman.
I was just wondering how the night time starts for your son? How does he go to sleep... cuddle, rock, bottle? Has this always been the same or have things changed over time? Does he have a 'bedtime'?
Hopefully with a bit more info I can give you some advice that may help.
Tess you poor thing, this is the hardest part of being a parent. Sometimes things have to get worse before they can get better i.e. you have to have weeks of sleepless nights while your son retrains himself to sleep through, or at least to realise that crying won't bring him what he wants.
Harsh? Perhaps, but then life is harsh and no one is going to bring your son bottles when he's 32, right? So sooner or later he has to learn, and it's kinder to do it now rather than later.
Try this, when he wakes go in, offer him a small drink of water (use a cup so it's not confusing for him), tuck him back in to bed, kiss him goodmight and leave. Don't speak to him, don't enter into negotiations at all. If he gets out of bed, simply put him back and leave, don't speak to him other than to tell him once (and once only) that it's night time and he has to sleep. Do this all the time, be very very consistant, unless of course he's ill or there's some other significant reason for him being awake.
It takes will power on your behalf, but in the end it will only take a few weeks at most and then everyone will be enjoying peacefull nights.
Controlled crying does work, but you have to be consistant, the minute you give in to the crying the longer and more powerful the crying will be next time, because they know if they do it enough you'll give in again. It's a battle of wills, one that you as an adult are more than capable of winning.
Good luck with is Tess, and stay strong. You can do it.
One more thing, enlist the help of anyone you can, either share the workload by taking alternate nights with your partner or get grannies/aunties/friends, etc. to have your son for a while during the day so you can catch up with your sleep.
Getting some decent rest will help you stay strong enough to get through this.
hi hysteria. my son has always had tea, bathtime an then we read books till 7 at bedtime, he was used to being put to bed every nite with a bottle. i thought that could have been the prob he was relying on the bottles as a way of getting himself back to sleep, which wasnt the case as he now goes to bed without a bottle an he doesnt seem to mind anymore, dont get me wrong tho wen i first stopped he cried for over an hour before falling asleep. my eldest son never had a prob with sleep an i cant see what it is that ive done so different.
It's not that you've done anything different Tess, it's just that your younger son is not the same as your elder son. No two people are the same.
I do understand your worry though and I also wonder what it is that is waking your son up in the first place. Maybe it's just that he's a light sleeper and wakes easier? As a matter of fact we all wake up several times in the night, we just don't remember it because we just turn over and go back to sleep. What your son needs is to be able to get back to sleep by himself and by teaching him that there is nothing to be gained by crying or getting out of bed you will be encouraging him to drift back off to sleep by himself when he wakes.
You havn't done anything different I am sure. Like Sillycat said, no 2 children are the same. I think the only thing that might work is my making sure he knows there is no need to wake up. Maybe try the bottle before bedtime, and then a bath to relax him, a story all cuddled up in bed and then light out, and sleep time. If he is then not ill, then he will learn (eventually) he needs to sleep hopefully something will happen for you both soon.
Katie has now been in her own room a bit more than a month and its the best thing ever. We have a bedtime routine that she has got used to, and I put her in her cot awake with some lullaby music and after a while she goes to sleep, only waking once in the night for some milk which I give to her in her cot, dummy than lullaby music than she falls asleep on her own.
She is doing better in her own bedroom and bed than she did in our bed and bedroom. Now when we have her in our bed when she wakes in the morning, she does not want to go there, instead she prefers to lie in her cot playing with her cot toys.
It has been a life saver, before Katie was in her own room she was in with us, and when she would wake up she could not get herself back to sleep, also she knew we were there so that would disturb her sleep. When she was asleep at night and however quite I was getting into bed, that would be enough to wake her up, therefore I would never get a decent nights sleep. I was depressed and suffered postnatal depression which I am taking antidepressants for.
When she went into her own room, I felt better instantly, it was like she had her own space and so did we. It took her a few weeks to get used to, but she soon got used to it and her bedtime routine. As a result, I get a good nights sleep, yes she does wake about once in the night for milk, but goes back to sleep easily. She knows how to self sooth, and go back to sleep herself, without me rocking her.
To all those like CM who think that this may be wrong, you have to be in the other person's shoes to understand, every baby is different and so is every situation. I faced opposition from my husband and his parents as they hold CM typle views, but I stuck my guns and now my husband is very pleased with Katie being in her own room, and can now understand why she is better in her own room.
Hi piglet mania, if you have a busy lifestyle and are back at work, night time can be a very stressful time for both baby and parents.
My two have both been good sleepers although at firts my partner also found it hard to let my two even whimper without picking them up.
I had to talk to him and explain that it was me who would be doing all the night feeds and housework and everything else that goes with it. So I explained I didn want mt lo's expecting me to pick them up all the time and nurse them back to sleep several times a night. Both my two woke for bottles in the night, and I never taught them to ignore their hunger, but once fed, they were back down to go back to sleep.
They now both love going to bed, and I love them going to bed too! They are now 26 months and 9 months and very hard work!
i am a stay at home mum so dont have to get up to go to work, but even though I found getting very little sleep very difficult night after night. Whilst it seemed that everybody elses 9 month old got good sleep mine did not. It was both tiring and made me depressed. Now that she is in her own room, she gets good sleep and so do I. Katie does wake up once to two times a night for milk, but goes back to sleep with ease which is great.
I've been there, my daughter had bad ezcema from 5-20mths old. At one point I was up most hours.
