Any parents dealing with transgenderism or gender variant children out there? My son has been telling us he wants to be a girl since he was 18 months old. He has a small wardrobe of girls clothes, a little make up of his own, perfume and tights. He's been steadfast and adamant that he wants to be a little girl, not a boy and is frequently upset about his 'wrong' gender.

He's mostly scared of his school friends finding out. He was quite badly bullied for a year while at his previous school (unbeknown to us) as he'd been gorwing his blond hair from being 3. He asked for it to be all cut off before we discovered he'd been bullied. He knows all too well that society doesn't accept his feelings, no matter how much we support and help him.

My family know about his feelings, but my Fiance's family don't yet, but we're telling them in a few weeks when we're on holiday with them. His birth dad and family don't know, as he doesn't want me to tell them. Obviously as he gets older it will get harder to keep this from them.

The next step for us is to see our local Child and Adolescent department who then (we hope) will give him a referal to the UK's only child gender clinic at the Portman in London. Our main concern is to get the appropriate support for him and us as a family. The sooner he and we get that, the better his outcomes are.

I worry about his risks for depression, alcohol and drug abuse, suicide, physical attack and abuse from other people and self harming behaviors. His risks are so much higher than for other children his age.

He also has Precocious Puberty and has the development of an 11 year old at age 8. These extra hormones raging in his system are not helping. It's possible he can have hormone blockers both to delay his puberty for his mental developments sake (to catch his mind up to his bodily development) and also as a much longer term strategy to reduce the masculinisation of his face, voice and body if he does decide to go forward for gender reassignment surgery when he's 18.

Thankfully the blockers have no long term problems in terms of damaging him if he chooses to go through a male puberty eventually. They won't affect his overall fertility for example.

So.. anyone know wheat we're going through? It's not something commonly talked about, although there is support from Mermaids, a group of parents who have gender variant children. Unfortunately none of them are local to us. My son feels very isolated with no female friends to be a girl with. Obviously it's not recommend to out himself at school.

Hi

sorry to read about your problems. You may find the following helpful (mainly aimed at adults but some of the info may still be useful:

http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/body/gen_intersex.html

and

http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/t...ranssexualteens.html

and

http://www.channel4.com/health/microsites/0-9/4health/b...en_transsexuals.html

best wishes

C4 Health Editor

Hello Cherade9

I feel for you! My two children both want to be the opposite gender. My daughter aged 6 always says she wants to be a boy and only plays boy things...she has never been into barbies or babies. She would rather be a power ranger. I have put it down to being a tom-boy as i was one growing up.
My son who is 4 has his nails painted and loves dressing up as a fairy. I have always just put them to a phase and will grow out of it. My son has his bigger sister whom he looks up to and my daughter was around all my friends children who had boys.

I am not worried about this and think they are normal. Some people say "why has he got nail varnish on?". I have never made an issue about it which i think is the best thing to do.

Im a 16 year old girl ...

From as far back as i remember until when i was about 10 i always wanted to be a boy,

I NEVER played with dolls or barbies and i hated teh colour pink,

I loved action men, tarcky bottoms, football, skateboards etcetc infact i threw tantrums if my mum made me wear girly clothes

I even used to ask my mum when i would turn into a boy ... it gets worse lol but ist embarasing so wont say anymore ... but i eventually grew out of it


I woudlnt worry too much if i were you,


Its most probably a phase he'll grow out of


And if its not who cares as long as he's happy


Good luck with it all anywayyy!