there is so much pressure for women to return to work after having a baby (or so i have found) money plays a huge part. i also have found that every one just expects you to want to go back to work too. i actually dont want to leave my baby with any one else for too long as i think if you have a baby its because you want to raise it your self. when a baby is raised mainly by a nanny or childminder it takes on alot of their personalitys and ways. i am not looking forward to when my maternity pay runs out, then my partners parents will be wondering why i have not returned to my old job......simply because i found i got far too stressed there and i know in my heart its time to change my life around and be HAPPY in a job not stressed. i wont go back to work untill my baby is older . although sometimes i do miss working .... then i remember how rubbish it was
I have been a stay at home mum for eight years now although I have always worked part-time (to fit around my daughter) In the past five years I have also been at uni part-time and just graduated in July. I have over the past few months been going for a job whereby I will be able to use my degree. It is full-time, although offers flexi hours. I did struggle about whether to take it but have decided that I will at least give it a go and see how I get on. It does not start until February and I am due back at my current job in January so will be handing in my notice to that one soon. However, my decision was easier to make because my mum is a childminder and already looks after my nephew. This means that my daughter will be with her Grandma and cousin and also her sister when she finishes school.
I never thought I would work full-time when my kids were youn( now 8years and 9months) although I am quite looking forward to the prospect. However, if I felt that my kids were suffering in any way I would quit. My career can wait - my kids can't....so fingers crossed that it all works out!!
oh wow that sounds like a battle plan you did not leave them when they were under 1 year though, i just cant imagine leaving him that young. i suppose i would follow a career when he is 8 but only if i could still see him every day and he was left with family. i hope it all goes well for you what have you just graduated in?
Hi Glitteremma, I have just graduated in law and so the job on offer has good prosepcts and is well paid. My youngest will be exactly 1 when I return to work.
I have to admit that after 8 years working part-time in not very well paid or exciting jobs that the new challenge is interesting to me. I will also be using my degree, which cost me nearly £12000 in fees and a lot of time (used to go two nights a week and every Saturday morning)
But as with anything in life, I will give it my best. If I feel that after a few months it is not working out or that my children are suffering then I will reconsider my options.
I have complete trust and faith in my mum. I know that she is a fab childminder and she takes my nephew to playgroup, rhyme time, tumble zone etc. She is fantastic so at least I am lucky that I have peace of mind in who I am leaving her with. I always said that I would only go back full time (and therefore need child care) if it was my mum looking after her. I know that there are other fantastic childminders out there but I could never leave her with someone that I did not know and did not trust. I appreciate that others are not as lucky as I am to have my mum there and I know this must be very difficult.
Hello, I've just returned to work leaving my 6-month baby with his Dad. I have to be home in time for his evening feed, he still wakes at night for feeds, I also feed him before work, and baby calls in at lunch time for a quick feed too when possible. In the mid morning and afternoon as well as mushy food he has expressed breast milk mixed with a little baby rice so he can be fed with a spoon and has not so far resorted to bottle feeding. He goes out and goes swimming with his dad and really doesn't seem to be upset at all by my going back to work. It's important to me that baby is cared for by someone who has a close emotional bond with him.
I went back part time with my son, but I am beconing a stay at home mum now I have my daughter.
I am currently employed as a nursery nurse in a private nursery, so when I went back with my son, I had the benefit of being with him 24 7, even ay work. I found it hard always playing mum, as well as being a member of staff, but it was also great having the peace of mind that I would ALWAYS be there. It was great for him as he didn't get too upset going throught the seperation anxiety stage, and if he was ill or hurt, I was there in a second.
Going bback to work after having a baby is hard. If you are leaving your baby with people other than family for the first time it is hard. There are many steps talen towards the big leap into childcare. I have been a nursery nurse now for 6 years, if I can hep anyone who has some questions, I will try to help.
i suppose i just get anxious leveing him full stop...he is the most important thing in my life, i know child carers are also nice people... but they are total strangers to you and the child and can they really say they can handle having that many kids to look after? i bet you were happy having that job hysteria1983 it sounds like the ideal job
im not sure really but perhaps he woul not have aproblem being left with someone else ... its possibly just me! i am definatly a over protective mum..... its my problem lol hes my little treasure and i guess i would not like to miss anything too
If they say they can handle what the ratio says they are lying, it is always good to see a nursery who have just one child less then the max capacity. Then the staff are not too busy, and can give your child the proper care they need.
It was lovely having him at the nursery with me, but I always craved time just being me, and not a mum... I still do, and always will. That's part of being a mummy though.
yeah i can see what you mean. sometimes i want a bit of space.... but dad works constantly so no chance lol i would rather just be with jake ....i feel selfish if i want to leave him too long with some one else i dunno why
It is just one of those things that goes along with being a mum. I hardly ever leave my 2. My family lives in wrexham, and i'm in wolverhampton, so I don't get much hekp with them. On the odd occasion mum in law will have them but not for long. But it's usually long enough, as when I am away from them, I miss them, and feel quilty, and then get in this sill situation where I just want to stop what i'm doing an do back. I think if I were more used to leaving them it would be easier.
Like I said before, I didn't even get a break from being mummy at work.
Having a little time apart would be good for you both, and if it's done earlier, then he won't become so upset when he is left when he is close to 12 months. They certainly don't like to be left then.
I have seen that the most difficult age to start a child at nursey is between about 10 to 18 months, simply because they are so used to being with mummy, they are fully aware of being left, but not quite old enough to understand, the why's and how longs about it all. Saying 'I will see you later to a tooddler' might as well be 'I will see you next year' as they have no concept of time. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, some children are very forward, and thrive from new enviroments and different stimulation. But nobody really knows what there child will be like, until in that situation.
A career is really important to me; I've worked REALLY hard to get to uni, and I've got another 4-5 years of studying before I'm qualified to either teach or practice law.
I would probably take 6 months - 1 year maternity leave depending on a few factors: what career I was in; how much paid maternity leave my employer gave; and how financially secure I was. I would consider returning part-time for a while, depending on my employer: if I go into law I doubt this would be feasible.
I think it's great if mums can and want to stay at home, but like I said I'll have worked really hard to get where I am and won't want to backtrack. Also staying at home doesn't equal a good mum; I think I'll be a good mum even if I can't be at home 24/7.
I returned to work part-time when Johnny was 5 months old, and am due to give birth again in March. I would dearly love to stay at home with my kids, but we just can't afford it. I'm hoping to take advantage of the full nine months maternity pay, (it was only 6mts last time), but might need to go back earlier to pay the mortgage... apparently we have the 'choice' to do either, but the reality is that many of us don't actually have any choice at all!!
My mum and dad only live two doors away, (this would have horrified me in years gone by, but is now really handy), but are both still working so not available for child care. On the plus side, I am lucky enough to have a child minder that I trust absolutely implicitly, so won't have any worries about leaving my new baby with a stranger.
Lots of childminders take kids along to toddler groups, so I'd recommend going to these yourself. That way you can see what they are really like with kids in advance, and get to know them a bit b4 asking if they have any spaces. Even if they don't, they generally know other local child minders, and can recommend specific child minders that would suit your family. Also, a great rule of thumb is that kids know who like them - even the kids who live in my child minders street adore her - theres no better indicator of someone who'll be great with your child!
I was terrified of leaving Johnny with anyone, but I now feel he really benefits from having such a close and loving relationship with another family, (my CM has two older girls and a lovely husband), as he's confident, sociable and secure. Like everything else as a parent, always trust your own instincts, and make changes quickly if you think you've got it wrong.
I am about 3 months into my mine months maternity leave at the moment. But the more I have looked into going back to work, I can't afford to. I will actually be out of pocket bu the time I have paid for two lots of childcare! Us nursery nurses don't get paid much. And it's bloody hard work! Very rewarding also. I'm not sure if childminders are cheaper than a day nursery, but even with my staff discount, I will still have to pay more in childcare costs. In some ways I am slightly jealous of those people who go back to work, baceaus it means that at least you are getting some time just being you, and not Mum. I know we are all mothers but I never seem to ever find the time to be 'me'. There are many other reasons that influence this, and I suppose i'm am not, and will neverr be the only person who feels this way.
Anyway, like johnny&bump says, trust your instincts, see how your children connect with them. Always take your child to the setting, weather it is a nursery or childminder, as sometimes I child will just take an instant like or dislike to it. It makes only a small impact to us, but it is the child who needs to be happy. I have also learnt that appearances can be deseptive.
When visiting a nursery, catch them off guard as some nursery's are told by management to 'make the place look good'. If you have an appointment at 10, get there 10/15 mins early, maybe you were nearby and your little one needed a nappy change, or so you thought.
That way you may have a chance of seeing the place how it is generally.
