Hello all, I'm new here but I was reading the post re surmnames and I just wanted to add that a Mum can actually register the birth of her child and give the baby her surname and the name of the Father, for the baby to have both but what she can't do on her own is to register the Father as the birth Father unless he is with her.
My older daughter has both of our names but when my younger daughter was born with a disability, he more or less dis owned us and wouldn't have anything to do with us. I went on my own and couldn't actually name him as the Father but the registrar was happy to put mine and his surnames as our younger daughter's surname. He didn't deserve for her to have his name too, at the time but I wanted her to have the same surname as my older daughter.
BTW he now loves our youngest but he and I are not together. I encourage their contact but I'll never forgive him for what he did.
Freebird

Well mum gave me dads last name coz they thought theyd get married. they didnt and have been separated wiv no contact for 8yrs. i think having my dads surname makes me feel still connected to both my parents wich is good.plus, my mum has kept her married name from her x husband so if id had her last name..it wudnt b rite, coz its his name really, not hers.
its good to take his name coz if u ever do decide to get married then youve only got to change ur name, not the kid's.

There is no way I would have a child that didn't carry my name. Weather not you are married, I believe the child should get the mans surname. My sister is not married, broke up from her boyfriend but the children still have his name.

And the whole double-barrel idea is pretty stupid. If your child is, say Mr Smith-Jones and he marries a Miss Brown, their child would be Smith-Jones-Brown?? And then their child married a Miss Woods, it'll be Smith-Jones-Brown-Woods? It'll go on forever! No, you stick with a simple rule which is that the child always takes the mans name.

Are you stalking me??

my little girl has her daddy's surname

quote:

Originally posted by hotgirl:
At one time, in hospital they had to use the mothers surname on the identity bracelet of the baby i.e baby girl jones, or this used to be the case, but when I had my last baby I had my name on my bracelet and my daughter had her dads surname on her i.d bracelet (I like the traditional daddys surname thing but each to their own) It used to be that way just because it made it easier for staff to match the baby to the mum in the records, and babies were often left in the ward nursery which is discouraged now.
Also the information is quite right on registering the childs birth, dads name can only go on the certificate if he is present, this doesnt apply to married parents. You can however give any surname you choose, regardless of which is yours or his, and if you wanted the fathers surname without actually getting married, you can change your name by deed poll (same could be done again later if you, god forbid, split up, for you and baby if you chose)

Thats interesting you say that because when I had my son 5 years ago, they insisted at the hospital that he was tagged with my surname to avoid any mix ups.

I gave my son my partners surname and as we are planning to get married it will be easier.

However my friend also gave her daughter her partners surname and he legged it 2 months later and was never seen again. She got her daughters surname changed to hers as you can change the surname within a year of birth on the birth certificate.

The fathers name, regardless of weather the parents are married.

I think you should go with what you want for your child and not what others say as you can have either it doesnt matter.My little girl has my partners surname and even though we are getting married in 2 years i still would have given her his.Or you could go double-barreld or just go with what gos the best with the name you choose.do what feels right for you dont listen to others its your baby.

I sympathise with Captiva8ed.

This is my own opinion but I think double-barrelled surnames are fairly ridiculous and pretentious and are chosen because the parents can't make a decision. They cause no end of problems.

And what happens when your little Mary Smith-Brown has a child with Peter White-Jones? Will the madness never end?!!

Damn - I wish I'd read the thread more thoroughly before giving my 2 cents worth - sorry Kaiserdown!! (Almost used your exact example and everything!)

I think its tradional to have daddy's name, but no harm if you want both, a lot of people give both

I think if you are unmarried and have no intentions of being married then the choice is yours. For me I wouldn't do it, especially if there is no assurance that my partner and I will ever get married. Some men hold the fact that they have a child with their name as some kind of trophy of what they've achieved as a father (please do not slate me - I am going by the experience of those close to me).

My daughter has my surname, and her father was deeply upset about it, but as he has given me no assurity that he will ever marry me, I don't see why I should honour him with such a privilege. I've told him that all our children will have my name until he makes an honest woman of me, that way if our relationship does not work, I and my children don't have to answer the dreaded question "why do you all not have the same surname? But the fact that they have my name shouldn't make him feel any less of a father.

We are a family by name if I'm not married, and when I do get married, we will also be a family by name. I think thats more than fair to everyone involved.

What you call your child really shouldn't have anything to do with your feelings or your partner's feelings. Using your child as a way to get back at or have more power than someone else is not really what being a parent is all about. Generally, personally, I feel that a child having the same surname as its father provides a link with where it came from. It should be about what is best for that particular child, not that particular mum or dad.

By the way my parents were unmarried when i was born and I have always had my Dad's surname and my mother's maiden name is one of my middle names. My mum's now married and divorced from my dad and remarried. I don't see why my surname should have followed her matrimonial difficulties.

Well my baby who is due in May will have my boyfriends surname

I think the child should take the father's surname, unless of course he isn't going to be involved in their life.

i've gone through life with a long french surname which has always been mispronounced, my partner has a 4 letter straight forward surname.

it didn't take much to decide whose name our daughter would have. we have no intentions of marriage but i like the idea that she has that connection with him, he cannot be mistaken for a stepdad.

I think the child should take its mothers name. For more than one reason. First of all the mother is the one involved in school, taking to docs etc, and it cud be uncomfortable a recept shouting two different names for mother and child. Also, it can always be changed if you do decide to get married in the future with no complications.

Double barrel names are seen as quite posh, when i get married im keeping my surname as my middle name and then my fiances name as my surname, when we have kids they'll have my middle name (Current surname) and his surname, if that makes any sense?

my children all have their fathers names but my friends children have her name which in a way is good as neither of the fathers want to know their kids.

at the end of the day its all down to personal choice.my feeling is the father should be given some recognition after all he did have a hand in the child being here

My mum gave me her surname and as my biological dad did a runner when I was two I think she did the right thing. She then met my Dad (stepfather who is wonderful and always treated me as his own) and they had my brother who also took my mums name. It's never caused any problems, When I had my son he took his dads surname, but as we were engaged and got married when our son was a year old. Ttc....

It also didnt cause me any feelings of doubt or regret because we married pretty quickly after his birth, and then when my daughter was born in 2004 it just felt good knowing we all had the same name, cause my hubbies mother used to go on about how my son was 'one of them', like I was just an incubator!, so getting married wiped her eye!

I'm still ranting! Anyway my parents have decided to get married after 29 years and are doing so in July 2006. but they now have a dilemma about my mum changing her name, which she wants, but they don't want to ask my brother to alter his cause he is 27, with a long term partner, has a mortgage in his name and I know mum is worried cause he is quite senstive that he won't have an 'attachment' to both parents names anymore! So my mum unsure of whether to remain in her current name, have a double barrelled or take my dads, whatever happenss I can see my brother whinging on!

When my brother and his gf (now wife) had a child, they knew they were going to stay together so her and the child took his name, she changed hers so they all the same name, regardless of wether they were married.

I think thats a good idea personally so thats what i would do.