I first tried to potty train my son when he had just turn three, this was fourteen months ago. However he showed very quickly that he struggled with the concept of pooing on the potty so I backed off. He took to weeing on the toilet no problems. He further deteriorated by soiling himself constantly and after consulting the HV & taking him to the doctors on several occasions he is now on movicol because of severe constipation but this makes him go constantly, it is hard to get a happy medium so the soiling is now so much worse because he won't entertain doing it on the toilet. I have tried reward charts, treats, I've praised him. He isn't afraid of sitting on the toilet as we have blown bubbles on it daily but he still refusing to poo on it. He is starting full time school in September 2008 and I just don't know what to do anymore. I am so worried he is doing himself permanent harm as his abdomen is now always distended but his medicine does this too
It isn't made any easier by the fact I have another 19 month old son who has been in hospital all of his life. He is able to come home during the day but has to go back at night as he is on cpap ventilation so it is difficult because we are not in the home environment for more than five minute. This is unlikely to change for the next 3 months, if not longer. I am simply at a loss as to what to do with him.
I can't really help as such I just feel sorry for your situation and that you had no answers!
My son in 4 this week and pooing is a bit of a problem still. He knows he has to go but 9 times out of 10 he won't. I tried playing up to how "big" and grown up he is now. He likes being told that. Also the major breakthough came when I wash my hair upstairs and took him for what I called "toilet time"! He sat on toilet and I took my time messing about with my hair. He liked the time together and performed into the toilet fine. Now we make it a set bit of time for just us two upstairs and we talk and I keep it all very casual, washing my hair or messing with make-up so the focus isn't on him. Perhaps you could try that, just sitting him on there or the potty for a set little time while you talk etc, no pressure to begin with and one day he might "go" ?
Good luck, it's awful with September looming in the distance isn't it?
I would guess that your son's problem is more psychological than anything else, it's a difficult situation at home. You and dad are constantly battling spending time with one child against the other and family life is far from normal.
I don't really know what you can do about it at the moment, but trying to spend some quality time with him may help. Remember it is the quality of time rather than the quantity that really matters.
Relax about the soiling and the toilet/potty training. The more anxious you are about it the more you convey to him that there is something to be anxious about. Keep everything upbeat and fun, even when your exhausted and could weep at yet another set of pooey pants to clean, showing your frustration, even for a second, will knock his confidence further.
Make sure he knows that he is special to you too, and that even though your other son is ill he's no more important to you than your eldest.
I think with a little time and consideration you can turn this around without too much of a problem.
You really need to get him off the laxitives though, but speak to your doctor about it first, because he's never going to learn to use the toilet if he's taking those things.
When he does stop taking the medicine make sure he gets plenty of fibre and fruit and veg.
Good luck with it and I hope your youngest gets better soon.
