I just wanted to state that I agreed to be involved in Bringing Up Baby as there are probably many women out there in my situation that are worried about going it alone as a new parent, as I was, and felt my contribution to the programme may be of some benefit to us all.

However I feel the coverage of my daughter, Lola and I so far has been very minimal and contrived and edited to fit in with pre-conceived structure of the programme.

Lola was sleeping through the night at 3 weeks yet tonight they mentioned that I was on my 5th week of sleepless nights. The scene with me upset had nothing to do with me being woken in the night - it was a personal issue. My heating had just been repaired, then my water tank broke and I was sick and tired of things going wrong in my flat and having to deal with it all on my own. However the programme makers chose to tie it in with 5 weeks of sleeplessness.

In retrospect although I followed the Spock method and it was very helpful, everyone's baby is an individual and you have to do what comes natural to you as a parent.

I urge all parents watching this not to take it too seriously. The makers of the programme clearly knew what they wanted to show and have edited the footage to reflect this.

Rebecca

Hi Rebecca, I watched the programme tonight and I thought you were on your 5th week of sleepless nights. As you say in your post these things are edited to make it look however the producers want it to look! You've done well to have your daughter sleep through the night from three weeks on your own, I think my daughter was around 8/9 weeks before she was sleeping all night! Hope you are still enjoying your sleep!

Yes I agree with about editing as from previous posts we know that Mia Has reflux would claire Varity really fed Mia again after her evening feed knowing that she has reflux problem and is under medical supervision ? I don't think so

HI Rebecca!!

Don't worry, everybody knows the media manipulates things!! They want to prove that Verity gets the babies to sleep through the night before every other method! I don't believe it a bit! Her babies are always crying!!!

Anyway, I am a single mum too and I had the same problems like you when my baby was born!

My baby was 9 weeks premature and had to stay in hospital for 5 weeks. During this time, I had to move out of a flat where the landlady was bullying everyone. It was hard to find a flat, organise the check out of the other flat, move in the new place, etc ... Everything on my own!
Then, I found out that the heater was not working, the water supply was not working, the extractors in the kitchen and toilet were not working, the oven was a mess, ... and to make things even worse, I was delivered the wrong cot, but noticed it only after I had built it all on my own! I got like a mini-brake down!!! I thought I was never going to make it!!!

I have always done your method, the "60's" and must say, that my baby wanted to sleep through the night from since he got his feeding tube out! But the nurses insited he had to have his feeds during the night too! He then LEARNED to wake during the night to ask for food until he stopped himself. The Health Visitor asked me to wake him up, cause he still needed to feed through the night, but he was hard to wake up and I was to tired to continue doing it, so we both let it be.
He is now a very contented baby and impressivelly EASY! He almost never cries, not even when he gets vaccinations, but he was like this in hospital already! In fact, the nurses wanted him to cry, cause it's good for prem babies, so they develop their lungs. But, I didn't want to make him cry.

I think every baby is different and one should adapt to her baby.
Routine can be good, as long as it doesn't hurt the babies.

Good luck to you!!!

xx

JOH

I cant believe the programme makers are so manipulative! So we are basically being told lies! And they seem to be favoring the 50's method- telling us that the 50's can make the baby sleep through the fastest! When you got your baby to sleep through at 3 weeks and the continuum mum got 6 hrs a night from birth...
I am so angry that they are promoting the 50's method-
Im so glad you have chosen to speak up about the truth behind the programme- It would be interesting to hear the other parents stories also!
The one thing that is still a fact is that Claire Verity is still an awful woman! You cant edit her talking directly to the camera- "Babies are manipulative" And that "people who pick up babies are stupid" ETC!

Hi Rebecca

I thought it was screamingly obvious that you were getting an unfair and minimal edit, which made me think that things must be going quite well with you and your baby because the producers of these types of programme only want to show "drama".

The programme did appear to be skewed towards promoting the Truby King/Claire Verity method. Unfortunately the images of screaming babies and unhappy parents don't lead one to think that it's any use whatsoever except as a training tool for parents who want to learn how to ignore their children's needs.

Hi Rebecca,

I also think that you are getting less time on air than the others, the focus is definately on the Truby King/Claire Verity families, with the Spock and Continuum Concept familes being added in like after thoughts here and there.

I'm sure that this is because drama sells and the TK/CV method is the one with all the scandal attached to it, where as the other two methods are pleasant and instinctive, so don't make contraversial viewing.

Having a baby is stressful, and when other things go wrong around you it's very hard, especially when you are on your own and don't have a "Dad" to call on (or call names!) when you need a break or some help. It's good that you have friends etc to call on, so that you did/do have some suport. Ten minutes to drink a cup of tea whilst someone else holds the baby, half an hour whilst someone baths and dresses your baby or an hour whilst they take baby for a walk in the pram can be the difference between happy calm parenting and the loony bin! The only thing I disagreed with you about was when you said you "instinctively" chose to formula feed Lola (and used other people feeding her to give you a break as justification). At the end of the day the feeding of a baby is something that your body expects to be doing and your instincts do too. There is nothing natural or instinctive about handing your baby over to someone else so they can feed them the modified milk of another species! I'm sure you had your own reasons not to breastfeed Lola, perhaps you thought it would be easier, or just automatically chose to do it because it is considered to be the social norm, but don't try to say it was instinct, because that is just not true. When we pick up a baby we automatically cradle them in our arms slightly facing us, at chest/nipple height, almost as if you were going to nurse them at the breast, bottle feeding involves a different hold that does not cradle the baby as close, which is why Claire Verity favours it as it helps distance the career from the baby. That is not an instinctive thing to do at all.

Hi Rebecca,

Good on you for speaking up about the editing of the programme. Can you say whether you met anyone from the medical proffesion before programme, and was thier anyone medically trained around while it was being filmed ?

Hi Franco33

Yes Dreena is a qualified nurse and we met prior to the filming. We actually started filming in November and I gave birth in February. The fliming finished in May.
Dreena wasn't around for all of the filming, quite often it was just the producer (who was great) and Lola and I. However, when she was, her help and advice was invaluable and I learnt so many practical and positive things from her.
I just feel it's a pity not many of these were shown.

So Dreena is a QUALIFIED nurse ? That makes it even worse then. I appreciate what you say about her helping you on and off the programme but it now really peeved me off that as a qualified health prof. she talks so much rubbish about public bf. She more than the other two (Claire Scott and C Verity who seeem not to have any prof. qualifications re. childcare) should realise the health benefits of bf instead of driving women into public toilets with her comments. Yet it is Claire Scott, a mother and a businesswoman NOT a nurse who is the only one who says anything intelligent on the programme re. infant feeding.

I appreciate Beckie made a personal choice not to bf, but with an attirude like that I would not be allowing Dreena anywhere near a mum wishing to bf.

Hi Beckie,

Thanks for your reply. The point of the question was to find out if an independent medical advisor ever talked to you before or during the filming. Although Dreena was medically qualifed, the production company should have has someone other than her to supervise that filming was being carried out out in accordance with the strict guidelines of involving babies on TV.
So can you please clarify that at no time prior to filming or during filming that you were not given the opportunity to talk to an independent medical advisor.

Many thanks

All I can say is thank god its finished what a load of cobblers all they are doing is padding there own purses (the three witches ) I wonder who will be the first to write a book? anyway bet the parents got paid a fortune by channel 4 so I suppose it makes it all worthwhile good luck all you rich mum and dads

Hi there beckie

first of all I think channel 4 where not really that interseted in portraying single mums has coping, I'm a single mum with 2 children and unfortunately there is still a stigma with being on your own. They showed mostly the clare verity's sucess, the one who is a child minder. I myself use the spock method without even realising I was using it, anyway I wish you and your little girl a lot of luck, and I hope you enjoy your life's together.

quote:

Originally posted by bren48:
All I can say is thank god its finished what a load of cobblers all they are doing is padding there own purses (the three witches ) I wonder who will be the first to write a book? anyway bet the parents got paid a fortune by channel 4 so I suppose it makes it all worthwhile good luck all you rich mum and dads

I just wanted to make it known that none of us parents got paid anything.
I can't speak for the others but I agreed to be involved in this because as a new single mother the offer of a mentor to lend me advice in the early months was very helpful. I also wanted to show that babies can thrive with just 1 parent. Unfotunately after editing the programme didn't actually portray this at all

quote:

Originally posted by little julie:
Hi there beckie

first of all I think channel 4 where not really that interseted in portraying single mums has coping, I'm a single mum with 2 children and unfortunately there is still a stigma with being on your own. They showed mostly the clare verity's sucess, the one who is a child minder. I myself use the spock method without even realising I was using it, anyway I wish you and your little girl a lot of luck, and I hope you enjoy your life's together.

Hi
Thank you, I wish lots of luck and laughter to you and your family too.

Hi Beckie,

Just wondered if Dreena has kept in touch, also did you actually meet any of the other families involved ?

Do you regret doing the programme ?

quote:

Originally posted by Franco33:
Hi Beckie,

Just wondered if Dreena has kept in touch, also did you actually meet any of the other families involved ?

Do you regret doing the programme ?

Hi
In reply to your earlier question there was not an individual medical advisor around during filming.

In all honesty if there were one offered I would not have wanted their presence as my flat is tiny and I didn't want too many people around in Lola's early days.
Almost all the filming was in my flat was with just Lola, I and the producer and sometimes Dreena. There were no wires, lights, boom microphones etc., it was more like a friend coming round with a camera filming me getting on with my day to day life.

I'm still very much in touch with Dreena, she thinks the world of Lola and we both think very dearly of her.

There was a reunion party for all the parents at the end but I didn't go to this. It clashed with a family christening but also I'd kind of had enough of the programme by then. I didn't feel the need to discuss our methods as I would never have entertained either of the other 2.

I don't regret making it as I would never have met Dreena. However, I am upset with the selective editing as I don't feel it was a fair depiction of events.

Hi Beckie,

Really pleased to hear that Dreena has kept in touch. Being a single parent isn't easy and having a good support network makes all the difference.

It's a shame that we didn't get to see more of your story as I think it would have been a help to other young mums in the same situation.

Perhaps you can get one of the decent papers or websites to let you tell it in your own unedited words.

Good luck, you sound as if you are doing a fantastic job for you and your little girl.

good for you and well done for coping so well when others wouldn't. i am a single parent also and i was very interested in watching how things went for you pon the programme, but like you said i was a little disapointed in the little coverage you where given.
This is obviously due to how well you coped and how level headed you came across. on the other hand I found the majority of all the other parents a little neurotic.

You should be very proud of you and you're adorable little girl.

quote:

Originally posted by Franco33:
Hi Beckie,

Really pleased to hear that Dreena has kept in touch. Being a single parent isn't easy and having a good support network makes all the difference.

It's a shame that we didn't get to see more of your story as I think it would have been a help to other young mums in the same situation.

Perhaps you can get one of the decent papers or websites to let you tell it in your own unedited words.

Good luck, you sound as if you are doing a fantastic job for you and your little girl.

Thank you so much, I've actually been quite touched by the nice things most people have said.

Lola's a happy, healthy, cheeky 8 1/2 month old now and I'm really looking forward to our future together.... without cameras!

quote:

Originally posted by mum2lucia:
good for you and well done for coping so well when others wouldn't. i am a single parent also and i was very interested in watching how things went for you pon the programme, but like you said i was a little disapointed in the little coverage you where given.
This is obviously due to how well you coped and how level headed you came across. on the other hand I found the majority of all the other parents a little neurotic.

You should be very proud of you and you're adorable little girl.

In retrospect I think maybe they didn't want to send out the message that it could be just as easy coping alone with a baby as what it is with a partner, I'd be to blame for teenage pregnancies throughout the UK!!!.

Thank you and good luck to you for your future

So in summary I've realised that by doing the Spock method Lola won't be able to chop cucumbers with a sharp knife by the age of 2........I think we can live with that!.

Hi there beckie

I was a bit shocked by the sharp knives too, but at least no one got hurt that's the main thing. I personaly think the spock method is the best anyway because you choose what you think is best, and at the end of the day every baby that is born is a unique individual anyway, what did you think of the 1950's method by the way?

quote:

Originally posted by little julie:
Hi there beckie

I was a bit shocked by the sharp knives too, but at least no one got hurt that's the main thing. I personaly think the spock method is the best anyway because you choose what you think is best, and at the end of the day every baby that is born is a unique individual
anyway, what did you think of the 1950's method by the way?

I personally wouldn't want to follow it but respect the 2 sets of parents choices to do so.