I was just reading an article in the daily mail August 7th 2008 Are Supermums Selfish? In the article Linda Hirshman basically lambasted stay at home mums who once had high flighing careers and degrees, calling them a disgrace to feminism, and that they do not actually enjoy what they do and are not fulfilling their potential and what they should do. She basically accused them of making it difficult for women in the workplace as they support their husbands or partners thus allowing them to work longer hours which women with children cannot compete with.

As a stay at home mum with two degrees that article basically insulted me. It is a womans choice what she does and should not be looked down upon just because she decides to stay at home and raise her children. what do you all think.

I haven't read the article myself, but i totally agree with you. I'm a single fulltime mum to my 3yr old,she does attend pre-school for a couple of day a week, like you I chose to be a stay at home, so that my daughter can benefit from spending quality time with me before she goes to infant school. Yes it hard not being out there working but when you have children and don't work you learn to manage with things. I love being a stay at home mum, i've seen my daughter grow, i haven't missed her first words, first steps etc. If Linda Hirshman feels this way, then that's her problem, we shouldn't let people like her bully us into something we're not or don't want to be. being a stay at home mum is a job in itself, for example, making sure the home is clean and tidy for them, being there for your children when you need them, and bringing them up in a loving family, at least being a stay at home mum gives us the chances to think about what we would like from our lives.

Exactly! That is why you have children, why have them if you are not prepared to be there for them. Being a stay at home mum is actually an important job, raising the future generation. No money in the world can compensate for missing vital stages of your childs life just because you want to hit the glass celing, you dont get another chance. I am not saying that every mother should stay at home, just that we also do a very worthwhile job and we actually like what we do.

If career is very important to you, dont have children or wait until they are older. We are not a disgrace to women because we choose to stay at home it is actually feminism to be able to have that choice.

I think it's a woman's choice whether to stay at home or not. I personally would want to carry on working after children; other women prefer to stay at home.

But, I do think there's at least a small element of truth in what she says. Because men are generally more able to work longer hours than women, as it is their partners who take care of the children and the home, it does make it difficult for women with children to compete in the work place, and so their male counterparts have the edge.

The article is also specifically discussing women who were previously in high-flying careers, rather than stay-at-home mums in general. In choosing to stay at home, these women are perpetuating the myth that a woman's place is at home and her career is secondary, which for many is not the case. But what employers will see is successful career women dropping everything as soon as children come along, and this will, like it or not, make them less inclined to hire women and more inclined to hire men. Which in many ways is understandable.

Linda Hirshman has clearly been overly harsh and it isn't fair of her to attack these women and say they fly in the face of feminism; they should be able to choose whether or not to stay at home. But, what she says in terms of the affect this has on other women in high-flying careers, is at least partly true.

Yes, it is true that it leads to inequality in the workplace. But her solution - work is more important than home - is not the only (or IMO correct) one. What we need is more stay-at-home dads, not fewer stay-at-home mums! In fact, in an ideal world, both parents could do part-time work, and thus share the job of parenting more equally.

I dont want to be bigheaded but I consider myself to be intelligent having both studied degrees at Undergrad and postgrad level and dont appriciate being classed as immature now that i am a stay at home mum, however as i was the lower earner it made sense for me to stay at home to raise our daughter. I think that it is feminsim to have a choice between working and staying at home, however i also feel that something has to give and sometimes its time with the children be it both men and women with high powered jobs. I feel that i have plenty of time when they are older to resume my career, I dont want a career at the expense of precious time with my child, but that is my choice

Isn't the problem that mothers do love to fight each other? Engage in endless competition and navel gazing about their life choice being superior to other people's.

I haven't got kids. I've had paid employment in the past and I have a bag of qualifications.

Sometimes I work now (but for myself not an employer). Sometimes I don't. My choice. It suits my circumstances. So what?

Of course it impacts my income and prospects. Again, so what? My choice. I get other stuff instead.

It's nobody else's business. And I'd never dream of suggesting my choice is better or worse than anyone else's.

What I find is that other people don't judge me for not having to do paid work or for doing it when I want to.

Sadly, it's mainly parents who make an industry of judging other people's life choices - particularly mothers - I'm afraid .