I was watching a programme this morning called Big Questions, in which part of the discussion was about beginning sex education at five.

Surely it is up to the parents how they approach this, and to do it in their way in line with their beliefs! I come from a Christian background, and would hate my child learning about things that go against our beliefs at home.

Surely we should also keep childhood as innocent as possible, children are under an enormous amount of stress in todays society than ever before. In my day (Iam only 30)we did not have this at Primary School, no Personal and Social Education or sex Education or anything, we did not need it. Surely all this information at our children is doing more harm than good.

What do you all think!

I agree that age 5 is way too early for a children to have such knowledge, but children are not stupid and all children talk in the playground about such issues, even the most naive childrens ears will be twitching....it's Human Nature!

However, I had questions I wanted to ask but was too embarrassed to ask my parents so having sex education incorporated into biology lessons at age 11 was a good thing...all done on parent's approval too!

We had only one parent who disputed the lessons and he would not allow his daughter to attend, and also broke into our lesson and attempted to headlock the biology teacher in an a fight to stop the lesson! (This was in the 80's before school security existed!)

The irony was the girl who was stopped by her Dad from attending became quite a 'sure thing' and ended up pregnant at 15 and I hear she is a Grandma at age 34!

I agree, I guess that times have moved on since I was a kid, I did not even know what a Vagina was until I was 12 and my mum did not even tell me about periods when I asked at 13, the same week I started them and was so scared that I had exploded he he he!

However, I do not agree with Government Sex education programes that promote sexual behviour in the under 16's. Its against the law to have sex below that age, and I certainly would not like my 11-12 year old to be given condoms, and told how to please their boyfriend, totally inappropriate! Under 16's are handed out morning after pills, and can get consultations with GP's without their parents consent, yet the parent has to be informed and asked permission to put a plaster on the child, how stupid is that!

The morning after pill is a powerful drug, with side effects, how is the parent going to know, so that if anything happens to their daughter they do not know what is wrong! The government is taking the decision making away from parents, it does not do anything to help family life, alientates children from their parents.

I feel there should be some form of sex education, and parents should be made exactly aware of what their children will be learning. If before hand they feel they don't want their child to take the lessons, then fair enough, in that case they should be explaining things themselves at some point. Although, this will probably be many times more embaressing for both parent and child.

Children will learn about sex in one way shape or form, and usually befor we are happy. And it is definatly far from the truth. At least in schools it is in a safe environment with true facts, not what somebody overheard on the tv, or from an older sibling.

We need to understand that sex educatuon is not sex promotion at all, I am sure if we could stop our children having sex until they were 30 we would, but we can't, but we can help them to have safe sex.

Suprisingly many teenagers prefere not to use condoms because most girls take the pill and can't get pregnant. They have no clue about all the sti's and std's because parents are too scared to let their children learn about it.

Children/teenegers/adult will all have sex when they want/are ready/drunk enough..... but if they are educated and know about the risks envolved.... at leats they will do it safely.

My children are only babies, and I know it is a long way off for me to be discussing sex with them, at least if they have sex education at school, they will be getting the facts. Me and dad will be there for the emotional side of things.

I will add, I do not think that the morning after pill should be given out as it is, as was said, schools need permission to put on a plaster, yet will give the morning agter pill out freely..... is this what happens because of poor sex education? Or is it drunk girls who can't say no? Abuse, Rape? Who knows, but with the way teenage pregnacy and sti's and std's are rising, something needs to be done.

We can keep our boy's and girls under lock and key..... give them a curfew.... tell them to behave themselves, but id they want to have sex, they will have sex. And they will do it wherever they want. We can't stop them.

I do agree with you Hysteria, children do need to know (age appropriate) about Sex but also in a wider context and not just focusing on the mechanical.

However, it should not be up to the schools to teach, but parents largely. I would rather teach my daughter when the time comes myself with my husbands help, and give her the information that we want her to hear from a Christian viewpoint. Yes she will hear other things and learn information from peers etc we cannot control everything, however we would rather our daughter learn these things from us her parents who know and love her, than a class in school which may not look at the wider context, and teach her how to resist peer pressure and about meaningful relationships

Hi Pigletmania and Hysteria!!

Hope you had a good Christmas and New Year.

xx

I don't think they mean full-blown sex education at 5, more 'the birds and the bees': where babies come from etc not explicit detail about how they are made

I think some form of sex education should start at the age of 8 or 9. This should include the basics, and issues such as puberty, menstruation etc

Then more detailed sex education should start at secondary school, with comprehensive information on the emotional as well as physical aspects of sex. Advice on contraception and where to get it; STD's and the importance of condoms, and how to get tested; pregnancy and the raising of children; and emotional issues such as how to say no, how to tell when you're ready etc. It should start fairly simple at the ages of 11/12 and be built on to become fully comprehensive at the ages of 14/15. I also think there should be talks from young people who have been affected by teenage pregnancy and STD's, so that young people realise these are real issues that affect other young people like them and very possible outcomes of unsafe sex. Being told by a teenager that unprotected sex could leave you infected with HIV is very different to hearing from someone in their early 20's who has become infected. I think the message hits home much more effectively

Parents should not be able to have a say in what their child is taught: all children regardless of personal beliefs and religion should be taught the same thing. Faith schools should have to provide exactly the same level of information as non-faith schools. Just because a parent has certain beliefs does not mean that their child shouldn't have access to proper information. The sex education at my Catholic school was disgraceful, practically non-existent and of little practical use. Most teenagers WILL have sex at some point, there is no point pretending that this isn't the case, just because we can't bear to imagine our son or daughter 'doing it'. My parents have always been very open with me about these issues which has made for a strong relationship, and also meant I feel I can talk to them about sex rather than shying away from it like most of my friends do

With regards to it being up to parents to teach their children about sex: in an ideal world parents and children would have very open relationships where sex is just another part of life that can be openly discussed

Sadly we don't live in such a world, and if parents were left to teach their children about sex you would have many children knowing little or nothing because their parents are too 'embarrassed' to talk about it (I know a lot of people in this category). You'd also have a lot of parents not wanting to discuss it properly because it goes against their personal beliefs; for instance it might be 'sex before marriage is bad, contraception is bad, end of'. Which is of no practical use to the average teenager

And so schools MUST teach sex education properly because of this. Everyone should be treated equally and given the same information. We can't just hope that all parents are going to want or be able to teach their kids everything about sex

Hi Karen, I had a lovely christmas ane new year, hope you did also.

barbie86.... I totall agree with you.... sex education is to me as important a subject as maths or science should be.... we all know which has been more important there.

If parents are left to do the teaching, there would be little done like you say, because of embaressment.

Young people need to learn that sex is not just physical, or emotional but both.

Schools do not need to teach children about the pleasure side of things... just the facts on how to stay safe and keep healthy.

I have a close friend who caught an sti at 15.... and is now practically infertile, all because her family were quite strict, and she was young and naive. Unfortunatly these things happen, and a good education in safe sex was probably all that is needed.

As a parent we cannot stop our children having sex, and stopping them, learn about it makes it look wrong, and unforbidden, children love the unforbidden.

There is nothing wrong with sex, yes, I feel it is better to be in a relationship if only because it is better emotionally to have someone close. But as long as sex is praticed safely, there are little risks involved.
The onlt thing as stake in that case usually is reputation.

Hi karen

Been having a lot of problems getting on the forums due to technical difficulties. Yes I had a lovely Christmas thank you, how about you. It was babies first one.

I understand what you are all saying, but I do tend to disagree. What about teaching children how to resist peer pressure, and to have the confidence to say 'no'. I was watching a programme yesterday on BBC3 about sex and teenagers, this 18 year old had sex with over 50 people, yes she used contraception(well sometimes), but she had no respect for her body, herself or her parents.

I feel its about more than throwing contraception and talking about the mechanics of sex. We should be teaching young people to respect themselves and their bodies, this should start at home in the family. I feel as a parent that when the time comes I would like to approach it in my own way, and have control over what my child learns. If Katie asks, I will be as open as necessary.

I feel that sex education beginns at home, children learn from what they see, and if their parents set good examples than they will learn from that. Of course not every parent will, and yes schools should provide age appropriate Sex Education, but also focus on the wider aspect such as self esteem, relationships, confidence, not just on the mechanics.

I feel that contraception should not be handed out to under sixteens, especially under 13. It is against the law to have sex at that age, and only scratches the surface. Why after all the governments aggressive campaigns to improve sex education, do we have a high rate of teenage pregnancies. As I mentioned we should be delving deeper and looking at the wider picture.

Yes there will be children who will have underage sex, we cannot prevent all teenagers, but if we manage to change the great majority of youngsters attitudes to sex then that will go someway to reducing the high amount of underage sex and teenage pregnancies that we have in this country.

Contraception absolutely HAS to be handed out to under 16's, because some under 16's WILL have sex. I'd point out that it is perfectly possible for someone under 16 to be ready for sex: people mature differently. One person will be mature enough for sex at 14; another might not be until they are 25. Not giving out contraception to those under age will simply mean that they will probably have unsafe sex, which solves nothing.

I would also add here that I don't think it is necessary to reduce the numbers of teenagers having underage sex. We should want to reduce the numbers of PEOPLE, both young teenagers and older adults, engaging in unsafe or unwanted sex. I lost my virginity at 14: I was ready and don't regret it. My friend lost hers at 19: she wasn't ready and regrets it. Age means little, because different people mature at very different rates. It isn't possible to make a sweeping statement that all under-16's aren't mature enough for sex because that just isn't the case. Just as it is not the case that all those 16+ are ready for sex

It is vital that young people are aware of contraception, the different types and how they work, and also where to get them from, and that anything discussed with a doctor or family planning clinic is confidential: many teenagers worry their parents will be informed and so don't get contraception

Of course the emotional sides of sex need to be dealt with in sex education, as I said in my previous post. This could include everything from how to say 'no' and resist pressure, and self-respect, to issues such as the emotional effects of parenthood and STD's. As I said I think that talks from young people would be very good in this respect: it is more likely to make someone think if they are hearing from someone nearer their age than from their teacher

Personally I don't think the government has really improved sex education very much at all. I was at school fairly recently, just a few years ago, and the sex education was practically non-existent

In regards to the teenager on last nights programme: I saw this as well, and the issues here were complex, largely stemming from her parents split. She seemed not to expect a healthy or loving relationship because of what she had witnessed in her parents' relationship. As far as I can tell peer pressure didn't come into it at all: none of her friends were sleeping with anywhere near as many men as she was, in fact they didn't seem very happy with what she was doing. It also didn't seem that she was afraid to say 'no': she was actively seeking out men to have sex with. This behaviour is very complex and the sex education she received would be unlikely to have changed her behaviour, because it stemmed from complex psycological and emotional issues. It's also a very unusual case: most teenagers have had sex with maybe one or two people: few more than 10, let alone 50

I disagree wih you barbie, but this is what these forums are for and we can agree to disagree. Sex under the age of 16 is illegal and the government should not endorse it by handing out contraception to CHILDREN and encouraging them to have sex. what then is the point of the law. Yes i understand that there will be children and young people who experiment and young people need to know to use contraception but it is the last resort.

As i said previously government campaigns need to focus on self esteem issues, resisting peer pressure, saying "no". and consequenses of unprotected sex such as pregnancy, sti's and AIDs. I would hate that my 11/12 year old child was given condoms and told to get on with it by government sex ed campaigns. How come we have the highest rate of teen pregnancies than before?

Additionally I do not think that a child under 16 is mature enough for sex. They are still growing and developing both physically and mentally and may not be ready for both the physical and emotional side of sex. Yes they can have a mature attitude to it, and approach it in a mature way by waiting until they are older, and not giving in to peer pressure. Just because a 13 year old may look like an adult, THEY ARE NOT! they are still immature in many ways and need to grow up. Yes underage sex will still happen, but it does not need to be promoted or encouraged. There does need to be some information for young people about contraception and the importance of it, but not the extent that it has reached now with children being given contraceptive and told to get on with it.

It is not possible to say that all under 16's are not physically or emotionally mature for sex, because it is simply not the case. Girls now are starting puberty as young as 7 and 8; I myself started puberty at 9 and was fully developed by 11: several years ahead of other girls my age. By 14, when I lost my virginity, I was emotionally and physically mature enough for sex: indeed I was more ready than friends were who lost their virginity much older. This is my personal experience: I know I was ready and hence I know that many other teenagers will like me be ready for sex well before the age of 16. Just because the majority are not, or you personally were not, does not mean you can make a sweeping statement and say that NO-ONE under 16 is ready for sex.

I'd like to add here as well that 16 is just a number. Does someone magically become mature enough for sex just because they reach 16? No. It is a gradual thing and there is no set age at which an individual will feel ready for sex, and be able to deal with it

The main point of the law is not to stop teenagers engaging in sex with people their own age, but to protect young teenagers and children from abuse by older people. If there was no age of consent, an adult of 30 could not be prosecuted for having sex with a child of 10. That is largely why the law exists. Other countries have lower ages of consent and much lower rates of teen pregnancy and STDs, because they have more education and sex is not considered 'taboo'

You admit yourself that teenagers will have sex regardless of the law: thus why do you suggest contraceptives shouldn't be given out to under-16s? All this will do is serve to increase the already high rates of teen pregnancy and STD's. Again, in countries were contraception is easily and readily available and discussed openly, they have far lower rates of teen pregnancy and STD's. Contraception is not a 'last resort': it is something that mature people mature enough for sex use and use properly. I went on the pill at 15, because I was in a relationship and having sex, and was mature and responsible enough to know that I should be on a reliable method of contraception. By your views I was too young to have sex and not ready: again I will say that a) I was ready and not at all too young, and that b) my attitude to sex was far more mature at 15 than many of my friend's attitudes are at the ages of 20 and 21.

Government campaigns are not encouraging young people to have sex: indeed most condom adverts are on later at night, when young children should be in bed. They are aimed much more at the 16-24 year old group, the group which most often practices unsafe sex. Teaches people about contraception and STD's is not the same as telling them to have sex, and I'm never sure why this is used as an objection. Saying 'IF you are going to have sex, then use condoms' is completely different to saying 'here's a condom, have sex'.

As far as I'm aware condoms aren't handed out to 11/12 year olds. Firstly VERY few people are likely to have sex this young anyway. Secondly, they would need to either buy condoms in a shop or else visit a family planning clinic: you wouldn't find the school handing them out to people this young. Some schools give condoms out to older teenagers of 15/16: which is the age of consent anyway

I wonder what Ken has to say about that?

As someone that comes from a Christian family, I will believe that Sex Education is much more than just explaining to teenagers about the mechanics, and handing out contraception, it does not solve the problem, if it did, why are there still teenage pregnancies and young people catching STI's.

Barbie, in a previous reply I think that you said something along the lines that Sex Education for youngsters should not be done by parents, but by schools, and that parents should not have the right to withdraw their children from classes whatever their faith. I disagree, as my child is still a minor the duty of care falls to me and my husband, therefore I should have some say in which goes on with my child. If I feel the classes are encouraging my child t be promiscuous, then I will withdraw her. It goes against what we belief at home and sends out mixed messages.

No I am not some sort of puritan who does not believe in sex before marriage, and I understand that you cannot shield young people away from sex, my husband and I just want to approach it in our own way, and in line with out beliefs. I was a teenager once, who used to read magazines such as MIZZ, Just 17 etc and lusted after boys, but was brought up to respect myslef and my body and to wait until I was in an adult loving relationship before I had sex. This also gave me the confidence to say no and to resist peer pressure too.

Sex Education is exactly that.... EDUCATION, it is not a sex lesson, and doesn't endorse or encourage sex, or underage sex.

We are taught maths, science, languages, history etc..... and sex I feel is just as important.
A Pupil having an art lesson does not suddenly become picasso.....
A pupile studying geography does no all of a sudden turn into Michael Palin.
The same goes for sex education.... I don't feel that children having these lessons see it as a green light or an ok to go and have sex, and that should be made clear, as I am well aware it is.
Sex education at my school was quite informative, but they never told us ''here are some condoms, go have SAFE sex'' !!

I think people are getting the wrong idea... if we ignore the fact that teenage pregnancies are rising, and that sti and std's are on the up, then it will never get resolved.
Also, it is not just teenagers having unsafe sex, I know many adult's who think the pill is a perfectly good form of contraception, and forget about all the other problems that can occur other than pregnancy.
Teenagers are not always the problem, Druken adults can be just as bed.

If we teach our children how to behave when the time feels right for them, then that is the best we can do.
Stopping them learn will only make them more curious, after all I was a teeneger once, as we all were, and nobody likes to e left out of knowing the facts about anything.

As parents we would like our children to be in safe loving relationships, but wouldn't we all.
The world is not a fairytale, and as long as sex is practiced safe, that is better than sex, that is not safe.

I could go on and on here (forum has been down and have loads to say) But I will stop here for now.

Of course Sex Education should be taught I am not saying that it should not, but the content and the way in which is delierved I disagree with. I heard on the same programe that I watched called 'Big Questions' last Sunday of two 11 year old girls who were approached by Sex Educaition outreach workers, they were taken to a outreach bus and shown how to use a condom and how to please their boyfriend. When they said that they were too young and did not feel it was needed, the worker told them its for in case they decide to have sex in the future.

At school i had Sex Ed, condoms were shown as were different types of contraceptives and a video of a couple copulating (much to our amusement) However what was not highlighted was the importance of meaningful relationships, and how to resist peer pressure, and that it was ok to say 'no'. Because I was brought up in a Christian way I decided that sex was not for me until I met a loving man and that I would wait until I was older.

I know that we do not live in cloud couckoo land, there will be youngsters who will have sex and they have to know how to do it safely. Incidently, my husband is Maltese, it is a country which is greatly influenced by religion and the family, I think that they have a very low incidences of teen pregnancy. It is a smaller Country though so that might also influence things.

This is a subject that is divided and I don't think that everyone will agree on everything.

Yeah but our country is going down the toilet... there's just no respect in culture as a whole anymore. That could be because 7% of people who live here are not English and so don't care what happens or goes on. It could also be the benefits culture where lazy people think that they may as well not go to work because they can get paid and given housing for free. Chavs even get free houses when they have kids; those houses should be given to people who actually have a positive role in society instead of just sponging off it while their stupid boyfriend(s) throw stones at the busses or vandalise private property whilst puffing on something they shouldnt. Some girls knock out sprogs as if they're on some kind of intensive farming programme; you can be sure that it isn't them who's footing the bill.

Officer Crabtree....another useful post....yes, people should get jobs and earn a living and provide for their families....come to think of it, do you have a job? I only ask because you have spent an awful lot of time today posting rubbish...and if you do have a job I am sure your employers would be happy with you wasting their time on forums.