As the Forum has got a little heavy today, I thought I'd post a Fosters gag for Jaysplays. Anyone seen or heard from him recently? He appears to have dropped off the radar, even to me!
Jay walks into a bar in Portsmouth and Jill, the barmaid, takes his order - a Fosters, obviously. Over the course of the night they get to know each other.
At the end of Jill's shift he asks her if she wants to come back to his place. Although she is attracted to him she says no. He then offers to pay her £200 for the night. Jill is a bit short of funds, and fancies Jay anyway, and so she agrees.
The next night Jay turns up again, orders Fosters and after showing her plenty of attention throughout the night he asks if fancies a rematch, same arrangement. Jill remembers the night before fondly and is only too happy to agree.
This goes on for 5 nights. On the 6th night Jay comes in, orders Fosters and sits in the corner. Jill thinks that if she pays him more some attention then maybe she can then shake some more cash out of him again, so she goes over and sits next to him.
She asks him where he's from originally. 'Swindon,' he tells her.
"So am I... What part?"
"Windmill Hill, actually" he replies.
"That's amazing..." she says, "So am I - what Road?"
"Bainbridge Road," he replies.
"This is unbelievable..." she says,"What number?"
He says "Number 20" and she is totally astonished.
"You are not going to believe this but I'm from Number 22! My parents still live there!"
"I know..." says Jay, "Your Father and mine are best mates - and last weekend, when I was visiting, your Dad gave me £1,000 to give to you when I came down!"
I've just introduced an Aussie character into my revamped TPTT sub, now a sitcom for TV.
Holy dooley, I reckon their 'form of English' is bloody funny mate. How about, 'When a knocker's giving an earbashing and doesn't give a bloke a fair go, it's always best to do a yewy!
Anyone got any little gems I could nick use for my script, please?
I've got a client run by two Ozzies. Take a good look round www dot aussieslang dot com - that's a great resource for serious reference, and worth a giggle or two, too!
