Chief Wiggum is reading out new laws. He reads out a law stating that it's illegal for a man to be hatless during daylight hours.

Burns and Jo Quimbey pull hats out of the air and quickly put them on. The Chief is already wearing is police hat. Smithers is the only one left not wearing a hat.

Chief Wiggum to Smithers:

"Ah Smithers if I didn't arrest you that night in the park I'm not gonna arrest you now."

Homer's "Help me Jebus", inspired.

D'oh is funny enough for me to be honest! its funny all the time!

Lionel Hutz: I go for a bad court thingy
Judge: You mean a mis-trial?
Lionel Hutz: Yea, that's why you're tha judge and I'm the em law talking guy

To alcohol. the cause of and solution to all of life's problems

"My middle name is Jay. Homer Jay Simpson"

*Homer and Marge are "snuggling"*
Bart walks in as a little kid "AY CARUMBA".
LOL,PMSL.

Out of Lisas First word,Season 4.

"I guess you could say he's barking up the wrong Bush"

When marge and homer go to see if their marriage is falling apart. And the three people homer thinks about are:
Homer Simpson
Homer.J.Simpson
and
Commander cool (aka me)
How he said it i lmao

Homer to Bart:

Remember the family motto son, when you're 18 you're out the door

LOL

"Ah Marge, you're as smart as Yoda and as pretty as Princess Leia"

Bart to Homer:

"Homer, why did you bring me to a gay steel mill"

Homer in sad little voice: "I don't know"

Homer naming the crows in the fantastic (but rarely shown) "Weekend at Burnsie's"

"That one's Russell Crow, that one's Cameron Crow, this one's Gregory Peck"

i like all of em

Just thought of a couple more:

Not technically a one liner, but close enough:

"Marge, I'm as dirty as a Frenchman. In three more hours I'll be dead!" (After being seperated from Marge for about a day).

"I can offer you something else no other man can! Complete and utter dependence!" Marge: "Homer, that's not a good thing."

Cracks me up.

Groundskeeper Willy is teaching French:

"Bonjourrrrrrrrrrr, ya cheese eating surrender monkeys."

Homer: "Ahhh, now for the wonderful time between the lie and the time it's found out"

How could I have forgotten:

"You know me Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals Fa-laming!". Amen

In Burns' Heir -

"Kids, kids. You tried you best and you failed miserably. The lesson is: never try...ha ha, right in the butt! Hee hee!"

When Homer is blaming marge for his weight problems Marge says, I'm not the one that put butter in your coffee.

When Homer is eating his ceiling waffle that he thinks is God, "MMMMMMMMM Sacrelicious"

When Homer wants Bart to change his name to Homer Jr, or as he puts it Ho Joo.

When Homer is talking about taking on Mr Burns
"It'll be just like when David took on Goliath only this time David will win."

And then Lisa:

To brain: "I know, I heard it too. Heres some music"

Cue Fur Elise

you're wrong, sacrelicious is with the forbidden doughnut in treehouse of horrors

quote:

you're wrong, sacrelicious is with the forbidden doughnut in treehouse of horrors

Incorrect. He actually says "Mmm...forbidden donut" in Treehouse of Horror IV.

quote:

Originally posted by BB Fan Steven:
And then Lisa:

To brain: "I know, I heard it too. Heres some music"

Cue Fur Elise

I love the coversations with a brain! "You kids shut up! I can't hear myself think!", they go quiet. Brain: "I want some peanuts". Homer: "That's better".

Homer: All right brain, you don't like me and I don't like you. But let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.", Brain: "It's a deal!"

There's actually a page dedicated to them at snpp.com (just do a search for "brainspeaks".)

Homer: "Ah, sweet pity. Where would my love life be without it"